Night Swim- Ahhh, a new year and with it brings cinema filled with all sorts of possibilities. We start 2024 with this little Blumhouse horror tale. Co-produced by horror legend James Wan, it's the directorial debut of Bryce McGuire and based off a 2014 short film of the same name (incase you ever wanted to find on YouTube or something). The Waller family (a former MLB player, his wife, and two children) buy a new house attempting to start over after the abrupt end of husband, Ray's , major league career due to illness. Choosing the house, in part, because of a backyard pool that Ray hopes to use for therapeutic purposes, everything goes "swimmingly" well. Ray seems to get stronger the more he uses the "healing" waters. But this is a horror movie of course. Over time something goes terribly wrong with Ray. Oh, how I wish it was wrong enough to keep me captivated. But alas, I don't think I've watched a horror movie this bland in a long time. Even the jump scares were bored of themselves. The killer/monster is...what, actually? I'm not sure. And, I didn't want to back up to figure it out. Seriously, I don't think I so much as flinched one time. This was a big nothing of a movie. Bland as bland can be. The only thing in its favor is it clocks in at a little less than an hour and a half. So it doesn't waste your time for long. I'm being very kind giving it the rating I am. Maybe I'm becoming a softy in my old age. Wyatt Russell and Kerry Condon star.
** stars
Monkey Man- Dev Patel stars and makes his directorial debut in this action thriller that looked a bit John Wick-ish from the trailers. Set in India, Monkey Man is the story of a child named "Kid', who suffers the indignity of seeing his mother murdered as part of a land-grabbing plot by a spiritual guru gangster (I swear I didn't make that up). Vowing vengeance, Kid grows up making a living as an underground boxer plotting his next moves and infiltrating the criminal organization that he has targeted until the inevitable confrontation with the gangster guru who took everything from him. There was a fun action-packed movie somewhere here. Unfortunately, the exciting stuff you saw in the trailers didn't happen until the last 15 minutes of the film. Nothing much of note happens for 3/4 of the runtime. Plus, it was a little difficult to understand at times. It felt like everyone spoke in low mumbles. There is a spiritual element to the film that never moved the needle for me. This would have worked better as strictly a slam-bang action epic if it had more action.
**1/2 stars
Imaginary- Blumhouse's second bite of the 2024 horror pie comes in the form of this thriller that explores the little-traveled road of that "harmless" childhood imaginary friend. Plagued by nightmares of her mentally ill father and a fictional character from one of her books, author, Jessica, moves into her old family home with her new husband and two stepdaughters. It's here that her youngest stepdaughter finds an old teddy bear of Jessica's she named Chauncy. Little girl and stuffed bear bond until it's slowly discovered something is terribly wrong with Chauncey. Weird things happen around this bear, potentially deadly things. Could this toy be linked to Jessica's current nightmare trauma? It's a possibility. So, much like Night Swim, Imaginary is another horror film that makes the cardinal sin of not being scary. I honestly find it hard to even call it creepy. It's...boring. I cared for no one throughout the entire runtime. I wanted the bear to slaughter everyone and then me so I wouldn't have to write this review. The creators tried to give a little bit of an Insidious vibe introducing us to a paralell supernatural world but, it's all for naught when your audience is screaming for someone to get shoved out of a window, get an eye gouged, or getting a head turned from North to South. Anything to break up the monotony. I'm not saying horror can't be heavily story based but don't forget why people paid their money. Well that's 0 for 2 for Blumhouse in 2024.
** stars
***3/4 stars
Boy Kills World- This wonky action comedy is a cross between Hunger Games and, well, any martial arts film. you've ever seen in your life. Once again, we start with a young child known only as "Boy" (what is it with kids in jeopardy in 2024) whose family is targeted and murdered by the authoritarian Hilda Van Der Koy. It seems as an annual tradition in this fictional city, Hilda rounds up a group of her enemies and publicly executes them. Found by a mysterious martial artist known as The Shaman, Boy, is saved and brutally schooled in the fighting arts by Shaman into his early adulthood. Everything hits the fan when Boy, against Shaman's orders, prevents another Van Der Koy culling. Finding a couple of strange but resourceful allies, Boy goes on a one man rampage against the Van Der Koy family and its well-armed goons. I have to give it to the creators for the unique way they chronicle the actions of a deaf-mute protagonist. Yes, Boy cannot hear or speak and has conversations in his head with his deceased baby sister. But Boy has an inner monologue that is brilliant and, if nothing else, keeps you intrigued with this movie. Boy's inner voice is that of the one and only, H. Jon Benjamin. That should bring a smile to the face of Bob's Burgers and Archer fans. This guy could read the phone book and make it sound hilarious. The action is over-the-top ridiculous which should be expected in an action film I suppose. But there are some things you have to say, "Dude", even with a suspension of disbelief. I just saw your Achilles sliced. There's no way you can still walk! The plot does have sinister twist to it which I enjoyed. The movie wraps with more questions than answers. It's a bit of a mixed bag but, overall, if wacky is your thing, Boy Kills World is a good time. Famke Janssen, Bill Skaarsgard, and Jessica Rothe star.
*** stars
Unfrosted- Jerry Seinfeld makes his directorial debut in this Netflix exclusive loosely based on the creation of...the pop tart. Bob Cabana is the head of development at Kellog. Pretty much adjacent to the corporate headquarters we find their main competitor, Post. When Cabana accidentally discovers Post is trying to create a new fruit-based breakfast food based on an idea stolen from Kellog by Post spies, it's a race against time to see which cereal giant can dominate the market with their version of the sugar addicting pastry. It's a wacky war involving mascots, milk gangsters, and sentient ravioli creatures (this is not made up). Not sure how much this film cost Netflix, but the cast is large and not lacking in name recognition. The story itself is a comic fantasy that's cute and amusing. I don't think there's one serious character in the entire production. But the story, while comical, is kind of all over the place. It feels like everything was thrown at the wall to see what stuck. There isn't much character development. Every new face seems to be there to "out-wacky" the last. Unfrosted will make you smile a few times but outside of "oh, look who it is" there's not a lot here. It's a one-time watch you'll forget in T-minus 10 seconds. But you should have a good time sitting through it at least. Jerry Seinfeld, Melissa McCarthy, Peter Dinklage, Amy Schumer, Jim Gaffigan, James Marsden, Christian Slater, Bill Burr, Hugh Grant, Jack McBrayer, Jon Hamm, Cedric the Entertainer, Max Greenfield, and many others star.
*** stars
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes- The re-imagining of the popular 1960s sci-fi movie franchise brings its fourth installment to this Summer's movie slate. Taking place several generations after 2017's War for the Planet of the Apes and the death of Caesar, the Earth has become a very different place. The planet is dominated by Ape tribes. The virus that turned the world upside down has decimated the human population. The few that remain are primitive and mostly mute. We are introduced to Noa, a young ape from a clan that practices falconry. Torn apart by the invasion of raiders answering to King Proximus Caesar, Noa's village burns and he's left for dead while the majority of his clan is taken . On a quest to free his clan, Noa becomes uneasy allies with a human woman who can speak as well as any ape. She has secrets. Secrets that are of particular interest to Proximus and his continued rule and perversion of the teachings of Caesar. Kingdom is a bit of a conundrum from me. It's a well-crafted film. The CGI involving the apes is near flawless. Proximus is a fine terrifying zealot. With the way it ends, there will definitely be follow ups. In fact, I'm guessing since Hollywood thinks in trilogies, there will be at least two more ape movies featuring Noa as the protagonist. But for whatever reason, I just didn't get into this one as much as I did the other three. If I had to put my finger on it, I would guess it's because I miss Caesar. Andy Serkis brought that character to life so much that it's hard for me to wrap my head around he's no longer part of the series. There's nothing wrong with Noa, but he just didn't have that same dynamic. And honestly, the human woman doesn't become interesting until you know her secret. So, I guess this is a fine enough opening salvo to a new trilogy but I don't think you'll have the same fondness for this as you might have for Rise of the Planet of the Apes.
***1/2 stars
Madame Web- Sony continues its insistence on creating its own MCU adjacent to the actual MCU with the release of Madame Web. For those who are unaware, Cassandra Webb is a supporting character in the Spider-Man Universe. A character that has had a couple of incarnations in comic lore. Let's dive in. Cassie Webb is a paramedic in New York whose powers of clairvoyance are unlocked by a near-death experience. Her visions lead her to three teenage girls who are pursued by a mysterious super being named Ezekiel who has strange spiderlike powers. Having some precognitive powers himself, Ezekiel believes these three girls will be a danger to him in the future. So, it becomes incumbent on Cassie to learn the secrets of both the teenagers and Ezekiel who may have some ties to her origins before Ezekiel can slaughter his targets with extreme prejudice. Madame Web is the latest in a line of Sony productions that suffer from the same issue. Creating a Spider-Man Movie Universe without Spider-Man. Now, admittedly, for someone like me who has a bit of comic knowledge, a movie like this will have many eyeroll moments. Sorry, but when you know the lore, you can't help but call foul on the obvious contrivances and inaccuracies. Especially when you're leaving out the main character all this revolves around. But taken on its own merits, Madame Web isn't awful. Ezekiel is not a fierce enough villain to really garner any sense of fear or dread. That is a problem. However, I did surprisingly like the heart at the center of the interactions between Cassie and the teenagers who comic fans will recognize in their future incarnations. And "A" for effort on this particular point. The bulk of this film takes place in 2003. Turns out that's not an accident. There is an event here that attempts to connect this story with a certain webbed wonder. The only thing I'll say is there are two characters by the name of Ben and Mary (not May) Parker. So, make that connection if you will. Madame Web is a very average superhero movie in many ways. However, the interactions with Cassie and the teenagers and the attempted, somewhat clever connective tissue with the source material make this at least worth a brief look on Netflix. Oh, and trying to make Sydney Sweeney a dowdy teenager doesn't work. Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, Mike Epps, Emma Roberts, and Adam Scott star.
*** stars
The Strangers: Chapter 1- Don't call it a prequel. Because it's not. It is however, the third installment of the mildly cultish Strangers horror franchise. Directed by Renny Harlin, this is more a re-imagining of the original Strangers concept from 2008. Maya and Ryan, celebrating their fifth anniversary as a couple, become lost on their way to Portland, OR, and stop at a small-town diner in Venus. Encountering a couple of unnerving residents, their car breaks down and the couple is forced to stay overnight at an Airbnb. And this is where the fun begins as the young couple will endure a night of terror at the hands of three masked psychopathic home invaders (Scarecrow, Dollface, and PinUp Girl). As I was watching this, I couldn't help but think I saw this done better in 2008. The first Strangers movie was a truly terrifying sit through. It took lurking and creepy empty space to a new level. If you are a horror buff who has never seen the original, do yourself a favor and find it on a streamer. It is one of the most underrated horror films of the millennium. This installment, try as it might, just doesn't capture the feeling of dread The Strangers did. It pretty much follows the same home invasion plot, but to be honest, the couple in this one is kind of dumb at times. I won't go into detail, but you'll know what I mean when you sit down with it. Two of the tormentors should have been smoked without question. Nothing hit as hard in this as it did in 2008. Harlin even tries to recreate the classic but utterly terrifying line of dialogue from that movie. In the original, the invaders only have one chilling line. When asked by one of their victims why they were doing this, the reply was "Because you were home." A similar scenario and utterance is made in this film but it doesn't hit with nearly the same impact. I kind of felt like I was going through the motions with this one. However, since I read this is the first part of a trilogy, I have some hope this might evolve into a revenge-type murder/thriller. So, although this is very much a rehash of a better movie, I'll see how this plays out in Chapter 2 later this year.
**3/4 stars
The Fall Guy- This action comedy is loosely based on the 1980s TV series. Professional stuntman, Colt Seavers, has a good life being the personal fill in for a popular action star. He loves his work and loves his girlfriend who he met on set during one of his movies. It all crashes down for him when he suffers a bad accident filming and loses everything by becoming a recluse during his recovery. He gets a second chance to regain his life doing his old job for a movie directed by his now ex-girlfriend. Things become stranger when he's tasked with finding the star who seems to have run afoul of some shady characters. I honestly didn't think I'd like this movie as much as I did. The personalities of the two leads are almost infectious. You can't help but like them and hope they can figure things out. Their chemistry is what makes the movie. Plus, it is funny. The action scenes are way over the top at times, but they seem fitting in their silliness. Among the crazy mayhem there's a bit of a dark plot woven in that works rather well. I have no reference to make between this film and the TV series as I never saw the latter, but the first summer movie of 2024 is a fun, chaotic banger that is a must see. Ryan Gosling, Emily Blunt, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, and Winston Duke star. There are cameos by Lee Majors and Heather Thomas in a mid-credits scene if you're feeling nostalgic.
***3/4 stars
**3/4 stars
The First Omen- Did you ever wonder how Antichrist, Damien Thorn, came into this world? That's the question this film attempts to answer as a young American novitiate arrives in Rome to work at a Catholic orphanage. What Margaret slowly discovers is a church conspiracy to do the unholy and the unthinkable. One that may give birth to the greatest evil the world has ever known. Although this movie is entirely unnecessary to the Damien saga, it might have still been acceptable if it wasn't so scattershot. In a well-structured horror movie, the creepiness very often has a rhyme or reason. The First Omen felt creepy for the sake of being creepy. So much of the imagery is just out there. In fact, it wasn't always easy to follow. The best scenes "borrowed" a great deal from the original Omen. But where those scenes were horrifying, these felt like spectacle. You'll know exactly what I mean watching the hanging scene. Straight out of the original with its own over-the-top spin to feel "special." There is an interesting hook to this film if only the execution were better. Make the creepiness and violence make sense. Let it flow. This whole movie felt like sensationalism turned up to 10.
**1/2 stars
Atlas- Artificial intelligence is the theme of the day in this Netflix sci-fi original. In the year 2043, a rogue humanoid AI terrorist named Harlan is defeated militarily and flees Earth to parts unknown. Decades later analyst Atlas Shepherd is able to track the rogue AI to a distant planet. Joining the military expedition, her plans are turned upside down forcing Shepherd into a high-tech battle mech with onboard AI. The only problem is she has a deep distrust of AI which isn't conducive to her remaining among the living if she doesn't get over it quickly. Atlas has decent action sequences and passable CGI. The arguments between Atlas and her suit are sometimes amusing. Let's be clear though. This ain't Tony Stark and Jarvis though. In fact the whole production does feel a bit cookie cutter. It's been done better in other movies. The villainous AI is a bit of a conundrum. The actions are fearsome enough but I just wasn't feeling the overall menace if that makes any sense. Honestly, I was and still am more frightened by Skynet from the Terminator franchise. Atlas is a passable film. But if you're looking to sink your teeth into a meatier tech-inspired apocalyptic future, there are more entertaining movies out there for you. Jennifer Lopez, Simu Liu, Sterling K. Brown, and Mark Strong star.
*** stars
Hit Man- Loosely based on a true story, this Netflix film has a bit of a different premise than your average rom-com to say the least. Mild mannered university professor, Gary Johnson, moonlights in the most unusual arena working undercover with the New Orleans Police Department as a fake gun-for-hire soliciting confessions from would be suspects in need of his special "services." Gary is a natural at this job and assists the police in several busts until he attempts to set up Madison, an attractive young woman who wants her husband dead. What is a lonely professor to do? Starting a romantic affair with her probably shouldn't be in his top five. Hit Man is clever and a bit morally ambiguous at times. Gary's many personas and his manipulations provide most of the film's amusement. But I have to say there is one plot point that bothered me a great deal. One that didn't seem consistent with the intelligence Gary displayed throughout most of the movie. You'll know exactly the scene I'm referring to if you sit down with this one. You'll scream at the top of your lungs "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!!" And yes, it makes take the rating down a peg. Glen Powell and Adria Arjona star.
***1/4 stars
Damsel- We're running the gauntlet with Netflix originals. Next, we have this swashbuckling medieval fantasy tale. Well, maybe not so swashbuckling. This is the story of Princess Elodie, adolescent daughter to Lord Bayford. A young woman who agrees to marry Prince Henry of Aurea at the bidding of Henry's mother, Queen Isabella. Lord Bayford needs the money Elodie's bride price will bring hence this fast arrangement. On what may not exactly be the happiest day of her life, Elodie is about to discover things can get a lot worse given the intrigue and deceipt she's unwittingly stepped into. And there's that pesky dragon problem, too. Parts of Damsel are horror driven. There's no blood but there is a lot of gruesome death. The CGI isn't always the best but it's mostly adequate. The dragon is fearsome. However, if you're a follower of Game of Thrones/House of the Dragon, this one would easily get beaten up by any of those dragons. It's Elodie's interactions with the dragon that are the most intriguing elements of the film. Everything outside of that is rather standard and unremarkable. Millie Bobby Brown, Ray Winstone, Angela Bassett, and Robin Wright star.
***1/4 stars
Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F- Have the mighty fallen? Has one of the biggest franchises of the 1980s been relegated to Netflix release? If you're talking about Beverly Hills Cop, the answer is yes. But, after being in developmental hell for decades, this fourth installment was rescued by the streaming giant. So, they obviously saw some value in this, right? Or, maybe the Netflix execs have never seen BHC 3. Unorthodovx Detroit detective, Axel Foley, is still making his superiors pull out their hair and destroying half the city on stings that tend to go wildly out of scope due to his presence. He finds yet another reason to return to his home away from home, Beverly Hills, when his daughter and old buddy, Billy Rosewood, have their lives threatened through a dangerous conspiracy Rosewood has uncovered. It's Axel to the rescue once again. Even Beverly Hills may not be able to afford the damage this time around. You probably already know the hook of this film is seeing Eddie Murphy be Eddie Murphy. Seeing streetwise Axel be so much smarter and savvier than both friend and foe. The movie lets him riff with the usual Murphy shenanigans. It's reminiscent of an old sweatshirt or pair of jeans. No frills. Just familiar and comfortable. Even the soundtrack is the very familiar combination of the first two installments. The one thing I downgrade is the unnecessary melodrama between Axel and his daughter that we've seen in film a billion times over. The movie would have been fine without the drama or the character. Axel F is a fun but fairly unmemorable production. It gives you a few of those nostalgia feels which is enough in the moment. In addition to Murphy, Judge Reinhold, John Ashton, Paul Reiser, Kevin Bacon, Bronson Pinchot, Taylour Paige and Joseph Gordon-Levitt star.
***1/4 stars
If- Imaginary friends must be en vogue these days because there seem to be a number of movies devoted to them. Written and directed by John Krasinski, IF is a fantasy comedy combining live-action and animation. Twelve-year old Bea discovers she has an unusual ability after she moves into her grandmother's apartment. She sees strange creatures called "IFs" (imaginary friends) who are overseen by a weary put upon human named Cal. It's Cal's job to unite all IFs with human partners. Deciding to assist Cal, Bea goes on a journey of discovery that could heal her as much as the people she tries to help. First, let me say this movie was longer than it needed to be. Cutting the runtime by 15 minutes could have done wonders. Sometimes I felt it was trying to be too clever for its own good and became overcomplicated. More than it should be for what amounts to a kid's movie. It's more whimsical than funny. It's a bit of an old-fashioned family film which isn't a bad thing. I just became bored with it. Granted it's not one that wasn't made with my tastes in mind. Ryan Reynolds, John Krasinski, and Cailey Fleming star. IF voice talents include Steve Carell, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Louis Gossett Jr, Awkwafina, Emily Blunt, George Clooney, Matt Damon, Blake Lively, Keegan-Michael Key, Christopher Meloni, Jon Stewart, Maya Rudolph, Amy Schumer, Sam Rockwell, Bill Hader, and Blake Lively.
*** stars
Kung Fu Panda 4- Dreamworks Animation keeps one of their top franchises alive with the fourth installment featuring Kung Fu Master, Po. Life is sweet for Dragon Warrior Po in the Valley of Peace. That is until Master Shifu informs him he will need to relinquish this mantle to pursue life as a spiritual leader. Reluctant to find a successor Dragon Warrior, he meets a thief named Zhen who will take him on a quest leading him to a head-to-head clash with a sorceress called The Chameleon who needs something in Po's possession to make her even more powerful. I laughed. I was entertained. The animation and action sequences are all above board. I liked this better than KFP3. All that said, I can't help asking myself, "Was this really necessary?" Did we really need a fourth Kung Fu Panda? You're not covering a lot of new ground here. How this ends will surely lead to a KFP5. I think Dreamworks has milked this cow for all it's worth creatively. I, for one, am a little "Ska-doosh-ed" out at this point. But, I repeat, this was still entertaining to a degree. Featuring the voice talents of Jack Black, Awkwafina, Dustin Hoffman, Viola Davis, Bryan Cranston, James Hong, and Ian McShane.
***1/4 stars
Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire- Warner Bros. Monsterverse keeps chugging along with another epic clash of titans. The fifth installment of the franchise. After atomic lizard and giant angry ape clashed in 2021's Godzilla vs Kong where do we go from here? I'll tell you where. Back to Hollow Earth where a sinkhole leads Kong to another realm housing a tribe of his species. Unfortunately, the tribe's leader, Skar, is bent on conquering the surface world with an ice titan named Shimo at his command. To deal with a threat of this magnitude, Kong is going to have to call in the scaley atomic gun who's already been powering up on the surface world for something dire. So, fairly standard for these Monsterverse flicks, the writers try desperately to a form a story around large feuding kaijus to varying degrees of mediocrity. You're here for the Beastie Smackdown. And this film gives you that. But this one jumped the shark a little bit for me. Since when have Godzilla and Kong been action heroes? Take a look at a couple of the promo posters. You know what I mean. And why did they decide to make Godzilla such a cranky asshat in this one? In the previous films, he wasn't one to wantonly destroy property. Here, if it's in his way, it's gone. Even when Kong came to enlist his aid it was incinerate on sight. This is yet another franchise I think is almost cooked creatively. Rebecca Hall, Brian Tyree Henry, and Dan Stevens star.
**3/4 stars
A Quiet Place: Day One- The third installment of this horror franchise is a prequel to both the 2018 and 2020 films. The murderous creatures who hunt through sound alone return hopefully with more answers to their origin than we received in the previous installments. The story follows Samira, a cancer patient in hospice, who is encouraged to join a group of fellow patients for a night of entertainment in New York City. On this fateful day, hostile alien creatures land on Earth and begin indiscriminately slaughtering all living things in their paths brining panic and chaos to every civilized space the eye can see. How long can Samira, her cat, and a handful of survivors that dwindles by the day hold out when the city is overrun by death? So, what do we know? Whatever these pseudo-Xenomorphs are appear to be blind. They have an acute sense of hearing, a hearing a pin drop sense of hearing. They can't swim. And...that's about it. But there's a problem. We already know this from the previous movies. The only thing we learn in the prequel is it seems they definitively came from space. And we saw some of them eating some weird substance from what appeared to be an egg. That's it. We still really know nothing more about them then we did in 2018 or 2020. However, those were better crafted movies. The main story here should have been one of discovery. Instead, we get Samira on a quest to Harlem amidst the chaos for...pizza? It's a whole thing. A human-interest story that added nothing to this franchise's mythos. It was pretty dull when the killer beasties weren't involved. Maybe I expected too much. But after three movies enough is enough. What the hell are these things. They act on visceral instinct so you wouldn't think they would be capable of space travel on their own. They're more Xenomorph than Predator. I'm going to end this talking about the cat. Now, cat lover that I am, there's no way, and I mean absolutely no way, this cat would have remained this calm and docile through what was happening. He was stuffed in bags, dumped in water, carried in panicked arms and made no sounds whatsoever. Every owner of a cat knows little kitty kitty would have gotten you smoked 1,000 times over in this type of situation. This was disappointing. I was expecting so much more out of this prequel than melodrama. Lupita Nyong'o and Djimon Hounsou star.
**3/4 stars
Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire- The fifth installment of the comedic supernatural franchise goes back to its roots in New York three years after the events of Afterlife. The Spengler Family (and boyfriend Gary Grooberson) with the assistance of philanthropist, Winston Zeddemore, have revived the ghost chasing emergency response team. The familiar sight of Ecto-1 speeding through the streets is a reality again. So is the 'Busters' nemesis, Walter Peck, who is now mayor of NYC. When a mysterious orb comes into the possession of veteran 'Buster, Ray Stantz, a new ominous cycle of events occur that could capture the globe in a new Ice Age. So...who you gonna call? Frozen Empire is an entertaining movie. At times. It's a funny movie. At times. It's a lot of everything. At times. But it also just kind of sits there being adequate but unremarkable. I'm coming to believe Ghostbusters was a movie that really didn't need a franchise built around it because no film after the first has ever captured the same magic. That same perfection. The original in so many ways was a perfect movie so it might be unfair to compare the others against it. Excellent cast. Great imaginative story. Comedic timing. Quotes galore. A theme song that became a humongous international megahit. With the exception of Afterlife which tugged a bit at your heartstrings due to the untimely death of Harold Ramis, the franchise has sputtered for me. Nothing has been dreadfully bad (yes I am including the all female version, too). It's just been a shoulder shrug. Frozen Empire banks a great deal on nostalgia with the inclusion of much of the original cast. However, the biggest problem for me in these last two films is he newer cast really hasn't struck a cord with me. They don't really stand out. And I don't believe that's the actors' fault because the newer cast has talent. I'm not sure what it is but none of the new stuff sticks with me. That's not to say you'll have a horrible time with the new stuff though. It's just not memorable. And please for all that's holy, don't make the mini marshmallow men the next Minions or Madagascar Penguins. Paul Rudd, Carrie Coon, Finn Wolfhard, Mckenna Grace and Kumail Nanjiani star. Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Ernie Hudson, and Annie Potts revive their original roles.
*** stars
Deadpool & Wolverine- The 34th film of the Marvel Cinematic Universe features the team up that had to happen after Disney acquired 20th Century Fox. The Merc with a Mouth. The Best There Is. What's the worst that can happen when two ill-tempered tough guys get together? On Earth-10005, Wade Wilson is a retired merc working as a used car salesman. When he's captured by the Time Variance Authority (TVA) and offered a chance to live in the "sacred timeline" of Earth-616, one little catch causes him to rebel and find the only being in the multiverse who can help. The clawed indestructible X-Man, Logan. Unfortunately for Wade, the Logan of his timeline is deceased. So, it's a frenetic romp through the multiverse to find a Logan variant willing to help. You can imagine how well that goes for him. What should I say about this movie? Let's start with some descriptors. It's bloody. It's ridiculous. It's irreverent. It's vulgar. It's ultraviolent. It's the most fun you'll have in a theater this year. Give Marvel/Disney credit on this one. They threw caution to the wind. Almost every frame there's some type of sight gag, skewering, or bawdy reference to something inappropriate. You'll die laughing or applaud vigorously. Many times both. This film is so much a love letter to hardcore comic book fans with all the Easter Eggs that are thrown in. Now there are times when this much fan service can backfire, when it almost feels like pandering. But I didn't find that to be the case here. Particularly if you're a Wolverine fan, you'll get a tear in your eye. Especially when one specific thing happens during the climactic fight scene. I don't have to tell you what it is. You'll know it when you see it. Oh, you will. We can't forget about the red guy. If you thought Deadpool was a maniac in his previous movies, you ain't seen nothing yet. He's more loony tunes than he's ever been constantly breaking the fourth wall, making cryptic references, and performing dance numbers while eviscerating multiple attackers. These are roles the two leads were born to play. Now, on to the guest stars. Every last one hits a nostalgic sweet spot. One in particular is someone I don't think anyone EVER would have thought they'd see in an MCU film. One gives the audience a comedic swerve that was a kiss of perfection. As much praise as I'm heaping on this film, it's not without one glaring weakness. It assumes you know a lot going in. A lot about not only comic lore, but movie lore as well. That includes non-MCU movies, Disney Plus series, and the like. Suffice to say if you were trying to introduce a novice or a casual follower of the MCU, they'll get lost quickly. But, for the hardcore fan, the film drips with love for you. The MCU has had a rough go of it of late. Will Deadpool & Wolverine bring the franchise back to the prominence of billion dollar grosses? Time will tell. But if this was a statement of intent to the fandom, well done. Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman star. Revealing anything else would be telling.
****1/2 stars
Trap- Has there been a director in modern history who has had such high highs and low lows as M. Night Shyamalan? His directorial efforts range from the magnificent to the unwatchable and everything in between. With his penchant for the mysterious and macabre you never know what type of film you're going to be watching. Which brings us to his latest effort, Trap. Imagine this if you will. A humdrum middle-class dad. Firefighter. Pillar of the community. He scores tickets to the concert of his teenage daughter's favorite singer. He plans to spend an uneventful evening in an arena filled with screaming teens. But, hey, it's all about his daughter who he loves so dearly. Except, there's one little issue. The venue has a higher than usual law enforcement presence. This is due to a tip that an infamous serial killer known as "The Butcher" might be at this concert. Now why do you think that might be a problem for dear old "boring" dad? The first half of Trap is a very tight and tense thriller. You see the wheels turning. You feel the walls closing in. It's a fun cat-and-mouse game brought to life onscreen. The problem is Shyamalan overplays his hand a bit. There are maybe three instances when you think the movie would and should end, but doesn't. There are some stretches of credulity here specifically if you have a background in security. You can definitely point out the movie armor because you know the authorities wouldn't allow certain things to happen if they were even somewhat competent. The whole affair becomes a tad silly. You're actually cheering for the bad guy to get away as he makes so many ridiculous escapes. But despite the silliness I was entertained. And that has everything to do with the lead actor and how well he played the part of the "everyman" until it was time not to. That affable to ice cold demeanor was chilling (no pun intended). He made me forget how insane Shyamalan's scripts became. It puts this film on a level of "guilty pleasure" for me. Josh Hartnett stars.
***1/2 stars
Tarot- I may have said this before in a previous review. The year has not been good for horror outside of the gem that was Abigail. Unfortunately, Tarot is no exception. A group of six college friends discover a mysterious deck of Tarot cards in the residence they're renting. Using the cards to read their horoscopes, they unknowingly unleash an evil that begins to kill them one by one in gruesome manners. Well maybe not always so gruesome. It has a PG-13 rating. And if that were the only thing I had to complain about. The movie's just dull. Standard horror tropes and jump scares. Here's the thing with horror. If you're not going to have the tense story, you need the splatter. For example, take the Terrifier series. No story whatsoever that remotely makes any sense. But Art the Clown is such a gross brutal killer, the movies keep you captivated in that manner. Tarot has neither. It's about as "blah" as horror gets.
**1/4 stars
Knox Goes Away- Every year if you look hard enough you can find an obscure gem of a film. That film for me this year might be this gem. Starring and directed by Michael Keaton, it's a movie propelled by his strength as the underrated dramatic actor he is. Contract killer, John Knox, is diagnosed with a fast-moving form of dementia which affects his latest job so severely he decides it's time to cash out and leave what he has to his estranged ex-wife and son. The matter is complicated when his son has his own life-altering problem Knox must solve while fighting his debilitating disease, losing more of himself on a daily basis. Given Knox's profession, some might find it difficult to muster sympathy for him. In fact, the part is played so expertly by Keaton that you have the feeling he doesn't have much sympathy for himself either. He's seen and done horrific things in his life. He might almost welcome those memories being lost if not for losing the those of his family as well. It does become a story of redemption. A last chance for a wicked man to do something good before he loses everything. Not to worry though. The movie isn't all melodrama. This is the story of a contract killer after all. Bullets fly and bodies fall. In the end, however, the title is very symbolically apropos. In addition to Keaton, Al Pacino, James Marsden, and Marcia Gay Harden co-star.
***3/4 stars
Maxxxine- The third installment of director Ti West's "X" trilogy focuses on the survivor of the first installment, then burgeoning porn novice/now established porn actress, Maxine Minx. Taking place in 1980s Los Angeles, Maxine wants to conquer new mountains. Being one of the biggest draws in the porn world isn't enough. She seizes the opportunity to go mainstream getting a lead role in a popular horror franchise. But her good fortune isn't destined to last as a mysterious and brutal killer is targeting those closest to her. But has the killer bitten off more than he can chew? Remember. Maxine is a survivor of a massacre herself and may not be so easily shaken. Maxxxine is a very different movie than its predecessors. X was kind of a kind of Texas Chainsaw Massacre-type slasher film. Pearl was more of a psychological thriller. Maxxxine is very much a crime drama and, in my opinion, the weakest link in the trilogy. The historical context of having the events of the film occur during the Night Stalker murders added nothing. We know early the killer is not the infamous murderer. So, I'm not sure why west even used this backdrop, West has made a unique trilogy. In X, he starts us out with old Pearl and young Maxine. In Pearl, we get the backstory of, well, young Pearl. In Maxxxine we get an older much more seasoned character than we saw in X. Both characters have psychological trauma (Pearl more so). But, if you're looking for true horror, this really doesn't hit that nerve. It has some disturbing imagery to be sure, but I just didn't find it as interesting as the previous installments, particularly after the ending of Pearl. That pained psychotic smile might be something I see for the rest of my life. In many ways, I found this to be a standard crime thriller that has a couple seedy characters but no real bite. Mia Goth, Kevin Bacon, Giancarlo Esposito, Bobby Cannavale, Lilly Collins, and Michelle Monaghan star.
**3/4 stars
Alien: Romulus- Fede Alvarez directs the seventh chapter of the granddaddy of sci-fi horror franchises (ninth if you count the AVP films). Putting the nightmare fuel that is the Xenomorph in the hands of an accomplished horror director could be a beautiful marriage. Taking place in what appears to be a few years after the events of 1979's Alien, we find Rain, a poor miner whose aspirations of a better life on another colony are dashed when her contract with the infamous Weyland-Yutani Corporation is forcibly extended on the miserable rock she currently lives on, Jackson's Star. She is convinced to join her "brother", ex-boyfriend, and his small crew on a raid of a nearby abandoned space station, Romulus to pilfer cryopods for an escape from Jackson's Rock to the colony of Yvaga where all hope to start new lives. It's a simple enough plan except for one major complication. The station was owned by Weyland-Yutani as a research facility. And fans of this series know what Weyland-Yutani have dedicated substantial funds and manpower to research often to tragic results. Fede Alvarez is in a group of newer critically acclaimed horror directors that include the names Ari Aster and Robert Eggers among their number. For my money, with the 2013 reimagining of Evil Dead, 2016 thriller Don't Breathe, and this chapter of Alien, Alvarez is at the top of the mountain. I wouldn't place in a classic status like I would the first two films in the franchise. But it is easily in that tier just below. Just like he did with Evil Dead, he has a knack for taking what made the franchise great and amping it to intense grislier levels without it feeling gratuitous. He definitely taps more into the horror roots of the first movie. There are several high dread moments in Romulus. Things you haven't seen or seen as graphically in the other franchise films. That's not to say he doesn't do a shout out to Aliens' intense action sequences. I'm sure you've seen a couple in the trailers. Dozens of skittering facehuggers is a definite "Oh $#!+" moment. All that said, I caution everyone that sometimes Romulus felt like a little too much fan service. Staunch followers will be able to cal out the movies certain scenes and dialogue originated from. Some of it is good. Some a bit corny. The way Romulus ends would lend itself to a continuation of this story or it could be left as a standalone. If it's a continuation, I'm a bit worried we might have too many irons in the fire. Remember there's still a story that can be followed from Alien: Covenant which was a continuation of Prometheus. Would they dare run two threads simultaneously? Only time will tell. However, while you're in contemplation, fully enjoy this gem. It doesn't disappoint.
**** stars
Blink Twice- In her directorial debut, Zoe Kravitz, crafts a very unusual thriller. One that is bound to make certain segments of the population angry given today's discourse. Frida and Jess are struggling waitresses working the latest gala for the rich and powerful. Among the guests is tech billionaire, Slater King, who takes an instant liking to Frida. Frida and Jess are invited and flown to King's private island resort along with three other women they don't know and a handful of Slater's friends and colleagues. It's nothing but fun in the sun, fine clothes, good food, and potent drugs. Until, through a random accident, Jess starts remembering...things. Could this wonderful paradise be too good to be true? Blink Twice offers something different than your usual run-of-the-mill cookie cutter thriller. It takes on a very relevant topic while still retaining its creep factor. The revelations as they come are cringe inducing. The resolution may give you satisfaction or cause an eye roll depending on your perspective. What Blink Twice is not is boring. Some of the random things that happen may not make a lot of sense at first. But everything happens for a reason that does come together in a chilling way. This is a thriller I had fun with if "fun" may not be the most appropriate word when you understand the subject matter. I hope others find value in this one, too. But, as I said before, given the discourse about certain subjects in the land, the reveal may not hit with everyone. Channing Tatum, Geena Davis, Christian Slater, Haley Joel Osment, Kyle MacLachlan, Naomi Ackie, Alia Shawcat, Simon Rex, and Aria Arjona star.
***1/2 stars
The Watchers- This marks the directorial debut of Ishana Night Shyamalan, daughter of well-known director M. Night Shyamalan who received a producing credit on this film. Like her father, it seems she gravitates toward stories of the macabre. Mina, an American immigrant working in a pet shop in Ireland, is tasked with delivering a valuable parrot to a zoo near Belfast. When her car breaks down, she and her feathery charge get lost in the nearby forest. They encounter a group of three individuals who have been surviving in a bunker for months. The bunker protects them the Watchers according to their leader, Madeline. Who or what are the Watchers? Do they even exist as the survivors say they have never actually encountered one? Or, are the Watchers figments of delusional minds? Mina will have to learn the secrets if she ever hopes to escape her new prison. As a first-time effort for I.N.S., The Watchers has promise. In certain moments. It has some rough edges. It plods along for long stretches. It plays with elements of folklore and horror but never fully captures the essence of either. There could have been a better story here had she gone all in on either one. But this half-breed film doesn't quite work. There's nothing dynamic about any character in the film. Mina has a back story that's tragic but ultimately makes you shrug your shoulders because it feels thrown in for sympathy. There was tension but I didn't "feel" it. Good horror/thrillers induce the dread in you. This did not. The movie is like reheated French fries. Edible if you're hungry, but they give you the burpees. This definitely isn't the splash her dad made with his debut. But, hopefully she gets another crack down the line. Dakota Fanning stars.
**3/4 stars
Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga- This one I'll make short an sweet. I'm probably not the best reviewer of the Mad Max Universe. It's never been my thing. It's just always been a swath of dirty, nasty-looking crazies with severe road rage for me. Not saying the road wars in these movies don't have entertainment value but the story has never resonated with me. That brings us to director George Miller's fifth installment of the Mad Max franchise that acts as both prequel to the previous Mad Max: Fury Road and an origin story to a character from that film, Furiosa. Chronicling her beginnings as a young girl captured by a Wasteland biker horde led by crazed warlord, Dementus, the film follows her forced servitude as the "daughter" of Dementus followed by her forced servitude to the warlord Imorten Joe to her rise within Joe's ranks to her final confrontation with Dementus. Furiosa's life is wrought with pain which forges her into a savage warrior and survivor. The movie's ultraviolence is fun and entertaining but clocking in at almost 2.5 hours, it tends to become a trifle exhausting as well. I didn't connect to it outside a couple of outstanding action sequences and Dementus being a sadistic, narcissistic goofball. Based on that, I'll say give this one a go. But your enjoyment is probably going to hinge on how much you love this universe to begin with. I will say Dementus's final fate is an orignal. Anya Taylor-Joy and Chris Hemsworth star.
*** stars
Late Night with the Devil- A horror movie based on late night ratings wars in the 1970s? Are we scraping the bottom for ideas or is this a clever new take on a genre that could use some new life? In documentary-style start, we're taken back to the disco era to investigate an unexplained event that occurred in 1977 on a live broadcast of the late night variety show, Night Owls. After some unfortunate personal setbacks, the host, Jack Delroy, returns to revive the once thriving show. However, try as he might, he's getting killed in the ratings by Johnny Carson. To boost his sagging ratings, Jack and company put on an occult-themed show on Halloween night. Jack and the crew don't know it yet but they're all in for a night they won't forget. If they live to talk about it. There is much to like about this slow building simple horror film. There's genuine tension as each guest is brought out to do their thing. The breaks to commercial are a nice touch to kind of give the setting a real-world feel. When the movie hits its crescendo, the ultraviolence comes swiftly. But you do have to be patient with it and the revelations that slowly unfold. This isn't a horror movie built on jump scares. If you're looking for something a little bit different than slashers and gore fests, this one is a nice little palette cleanser that still maintains a viable creep factor. And credit to lead actor, David Dastmalchian, as Jack Delroy. He strikes just the right tone between smarmy and likeable. For most of the runtime you're not quite sure how to take him. But he is the key to holding the narrative together.
***1/2 stars
*** stars
The Beekeeper- The latest Jason Statham actioner is directed by David Ayer and finds the actor in very familiar territory. A cynical world-weary badass who is pressed back into action by despicable people. Adam Clay leads a quiet life as an unassuming beekeeper. He's struck up a friendship with his older, kindly landlord who falls victim to a phishing scheme. When tragedy ensues, Clay rampages. With cold, clinical precision, he'll work his way all the way to the top of the crooked organization that has far deeper ties to power than anyone expects. Unfortunately for them, so does Clay. This is your standard Statham film. Not many frills. Just him wearing out all the unfortunate souls who dare attack him with touches of his dry humor. If you're a Statham fan, it's an enjoyable enough watch. I've enjoyed other Statham movies more. But this won't disappoint if you're a fan of this type of film. Although the movie does get heavy handed with bee metaphors and analogies. How do you make so many comparisons to bees? You'll see. Jeremy Irons and Josh Hutcherson co-star.
***1/4 stars
Road House- Who doesn't remember the 1989 (some say) classic Patrick Swayze actioner Road House? The film that made professional bouncing chic. Well, director Doug Liman certainly does. I guess that's why he remade it. With a few of his own special tweaks. Elwood Dalton is a troubled former MMA fighter who is convinced by bar owner, Frankie, to become the head bouncer at her rough and tumble establishment in Florida ironically named The Road House. Of course, Frankie has a big issue. Local crime boss, Ben Brandt, covets the land her bar sits on. And he frequently sends local goons to disrupt her operations. When Dalton begins to put a stop to it all, a final clash between he and Brandt becomes inevitable. This version of Road House may not become a classic but it hits most of the same notes of the Swayze version. Troubled but "peaceful" tough guy. Physician love interest. Smarmy rich crime boss. And wave after wave of snarling bullies to be taken down hard. One difference in this one is it is much bloodier than the original. And the addition of MMA fighter Conor McGregor gives a little dark comic relief as his character is ridiculously over the top. Have fun with this one. It's relatively harmless and moderately entertaining. Jake Gyllenhaal stars.
*** stars
The Deliverance- Director Lee Daniels dips his toe into the horror genre in this Netflix streamer. Quite the departure from films like Precious, The Paperboy, The Butler, as well as TV series such Empire also. Inspired by true events occurring between in Gary, IN, in the 2010s, the film tells the tale of Ebony Jackson, a single mother of three who moves into a new home with her children and elderly/sickly mother. Times are tough. Her mother who she already has a difficult relationship with needs expensive treatments that insurance won't cover. Ebony herself has a sordid past as she has been incarcerated and struggles with alcohol addiction. Although her mother is a recent convert to Christianity, that has not rubbed off on Ebony in the least. With Child Services always around the corner looking to separate her from her children who she is borderline abusive to, Ebony really doesn't need more complications in her life. Especially a haunted house that is having a weird influence on her youngest child. The Deliverance has something to say about various topics including social injustice, faith, and familial relationships, particularly interracial relationships. The problem is I didn't think that always mixed well with the horror elements. It felt clunky. Like two odd pieces trying to fit together. I'm not saying the marriage can never work. Take Candyman for instance. It had its share of social commentary, but it is still one of the most grotesquely brutal movies I've ever seen. The horror elements of The Deliverance are off-putting, but I didn't feel that sense of dread good horror gives you. In fact, the most I can say is it was mildly chilling. The acting performances were fine although grate on me a bit as to how "urban" some of the dialogue was. There were also times I felt Daniels was preaching to a choir. Like it's better to be part of the faithful than not. If you're not a particularly religious person, it can come across as hokey. Overall, it's not a bad watch, but possession has been more terrifying in many other movies. Andra Day, Mo'Nique, Omar Epps, and Glenn Close star.
**3/4 stars
Speak No Evil- This thriller that comes to us courtesy of those madmen at Blumhouse is actually a remake of a 2022 Danish film. More on that later. Here, we have the Daltons (Louise, Ben, and Agnes, an American family that has relocated to London and currently vacationing in Italy. There, through curious circumstances, they meet British couple Paddy and Ciara and their son, Ant. Striking up a friendship, Paddy and Ciara invite the Daltons to their farm when they return to London. Once there, Louise quickly becomes uneasy with some of the hosts' behaviors. Something her husband isn't as quick to pick up on. Then again, Louise and Ben are under stress from their own domestic issues, so are they oversensitive to Paddy and Ciara's eccentricities? But why does Ant, who has a tongue deformity and can't speak, seem to try to communicate something to them when he's alone with each of them, including Agnes? So, the one thing you should pick up on as the plot unfolds is the Daltons are incredibly stupid. There are more red flags than you see at a NASCAR event. Rational would not do the things they do in the face of danger. Louise would be okay if she didn't coddle Agnes as much as she does. Ben is just an outright jerk sometimes. Agnes has really severe separation anxiety at almost 12 years old. All of their foibles get them in trouble at some point. And the film breaks down into a long cat-and-mouse chase near the end as this genre is wont to do. But the saving grace here is James McAvoy as Paddy. He's chilling. A character who can go from 0-200 on a dime. But somehow, even when he shows his true face, he has a charm about him that defuses the situation. One he's usually created of course. It's his performance that makes this worth seeing. Oh, and I'm going try to get my hands on the Danish version of this because from the synopsis I've read, it has MUCH different ending.
***1/2 stars
The Killer's Game- What do you do when you're a hitman who has found true love but then told he has a terminal illness? That's the set up for this action comedy that's actually based on a novel of the same name. To answer that previous question, if you're Joe Flood, you order a contract on yourself in an elaborate way to set your true love up for life. But wacky comedy dictates that things aren't going to be as simple as that. I need to say something. I LOVE this sub-sub-genre of film. The goofy gaggle of eccentric killers that gather and then die in absurd and grotesque ways. Many times they're critically panned but I don't care. The sheer chaos and nonsense of it all hooks me. The Killer's Game is a movie not unlike Smokin' Aces or Luck Number Slevin or the more recent Bullet Train. You can even make some parallels with a movie like The Hateful Eight. It's a simple completely ludicrous movie that's just a lot of fun to watch. And isn't that why we do it? Dave Bautista, Sofia Boutella, Pom Klementieff, Ben Kingsley, Terry Crews, and, making his cinematic debut, WWE star Drew Galloway (McIntyre), co-star.
***1/2 stars
Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice- The sequel almost 40 years in the making has graced us with its presence. Tim Burton once again helms the follow up to one of his most famous and adored movies. The quirks, the wacky, the gross, and the macabre are along for the ride. Also, this is a clever way to say "Beetlejuice 2." Lydia Deetz, now the host of a supernatural talk show, returns to the old family haunted house in Winter River with her even-more-eccentric-than-before stepmother, Delia, and estranged daughter, Astrid, in tow to deal with recent tragic family business. Unfortunately, for Lydia, the powerful, yet disgusting poltergeist, Betelguise, hasn't forgotten his "almost bride" from 36 years ago. And, as bad fortune would have it, he needs her help in dealing with a centuries-old transgression. The good about this movie is that Burton doesn't resort to using shiny new toys to bring the project to life. What I mean by that is he didn't rely heavily on CGI. Like the first film, he uses stop-motion and practical effects. The movies visually look like they fit together and are of the same world. Back is the "recently dead" waiting room, the shrunken head guy, the town model in the attic, and sight gags galore. And, of course, Michael Keaton as the "ghost with the most." We all know none of this works without him playing this part with repulsive glee. In addition to Keaton, we have a character played by Willem Dafoe that's as over the top in a different way. Dafoe looks like he's having the time of his life chewing the scenery. There are some things about BB that I didn't think were necessarily bad but could have had more thought behind them. There are many irons in this fire. Many threads to follow. For instance, I thought the thread involving Astrid's boyfriend was a little abruptly and conveniently dispatched. There were a number of more interesting places you could have taken that story. There was a musical number that was very long and wore out its welcome after a certain time. It nothing that will stick with you like the end scene "Jump in the Line" number in the first movie. Some of the personal drama I thought was contrived. Beetlejuice is given a bit of a backstory that I thought would have been interesting to see more of. Maybe in a future movie. And, yes, the ending does lend itself to a possible "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice." I was surprised that Burton did dive into a little bit of actual horror. Parts of this aren't just whimsical. There are some dark elements here. There's not a lot more to say about the 'Juice outside of if you thought the original was a classic, you should have a great time with this, too. It's a sequel worthy of its predecessor. I just hope if they're going to make a third, they do it rather quickly. Keaton isn't getting any younger. And this is a role that can't be done without him. Winona Ryder, Catherine O'Hara, Jenna Ortega, and Monica Bellucci co-star. And there is a cameo by a very familiar face.
***3/4 stars
Never Let Go- This horror/thriller from director Alexandre Aja is a metaphor in its title on several levels. A woman known only as "Momma" lives deep in the woods with her fraternal twin boys, Samuel and Nolan. Deeply spiritual, Momma escaped with her boys to their present location due to the world ending a few years prior through the machinations of an evil entity. Literally living off the land, they are kept safe by tying ropes around themselves that are attached to the old family home they're currently living in. According to Momma, the evil can't touch any of them as long as they touch the ropes. Deeply spiritual, Momma believes this with her whole heart, and she may be right. She sees a lot of bizarre horrifying images around her. But is the entity toying with her or are these fissures in a delusional mind? Now the audience can discern the answer to this question fairly early in the film. And then, a curve ball is thrown near the end that makes you question what you previously thought. Honestly, it just made the whole narrative confusing and ambiguous. Which may be what the director was aiming for. Form your own conclusions. As I said, "Never Let Go" is a metaphor for many themes in the film, one being how to let go of a borderline abusive parent. I wouldn't necessarily call this scary, but the movie does have a high creep factor. I would have given this a higher grade if not for the muddiness of the ending. Halle Berry stars.
***1/4 stars
Transformers One- Of all the franchises over the past 10+ years, I've been extremely disappointed in Transformers. Aside from the first two and Bumblebee, they've just been bombastic assault-of-the-senses messes. Transformers was an iconic brand I grew up with. But a couple of things intrigued me about the trailers for Transformers One. First, this one was going back to the franchise's animated roots. Second, it appeared to take place entirely on Cybertron. So, in essence, no human characters. And third, quite honestly I didn't know how I felt about this. It appeared to be a comedy. The stoic Optimus Prime and evil Megatron bumping fists and cracking jokes? Is this going to be the Transformers version of Thor: Ragnarok? Interesting thing about that later. Energon miners, Orion Pax and D-16, are best friends toiling in the deep caverns of the planet. Many cycles ago, the protectors of Cybertron, the 13 Primes, fell to an alien race known as the Quintessons, forcing the population under the surface to mine for their sustenance after the bountiful energy all but dried up after the Matrix of Leadership was lost. Now housed in the large underground city of Iacon, Cybertronians are protected by the last Prime, Sentinel Prime, who fights the Quintessons on the surface while searching for the lost Matrix. The ever-optimistic Orion Pax believes he has a lead on how to help Sentinel find the Matrix if only he can get his more pessimistic buddy to join him on this quest. Said quest will lead them on some comic adventures where they'll meet/ be joined by two other well-known figures and discover truths that will shatter their perceptions and forge them into the icons they're destined to become. So...let me say Transformers One...IS THE TRANSFORMERS MOVIE WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR! By the end, I wanted to pump fist in the air and cry. This origin buddy comedy was the validation of my love for the franchise. It has lore, comedy, tragedy, betrayal, disillusionment, adventure, heroism, everything you could want from the "robots in disguise." The movie had great comedic timing. It wasn't overbearing, and it was genuinely funny. But that doesn't mean it was all fun and games. The last act very definitively changes tone. Given the stakes that arise, it has to. Now I love the MCU but they could learn a thing or two from this movie. Let the dramatic moments be the dramatic moments. Let them hit. Let them smolder. Let them resonate. We don't always have to lighten the mood in the poignant moments. I like the Professor X/Magneto angle they were going or here. I won't say it, but you've probably guessed who Orion Pax and D-16 will become. And it's a magnificent transformation for both. One showing his worthiness making the ultimate sacrifice and the other deteriorating from adoration to disillusionment to vengeful anger. Transformers One is a rare gem I wasn't expecting to find. It's easily one of the best movies of the year. Stick around through the end credits for a final scene that's incredible foreshadowing of what's to come if sequels are in the works. Featuring the voice talents of Chris Hemsworth (hence the Ragnarok reference), Brian Tyree Henry, Scarlett Johansson, Keegan-Michael Key, Steve Buscemi, Laurence Fishburne, and Jon Hamm.
****1/2 stars
Civil War- Well given today's discourse I guess we had to anticipate a movie such as this being released. Director Alex Garland's dystopian look at America is stark vision of a path many probably don't think we're all that far from. In the near future, the United States is at war with itself again. A despotic federal government led by a third-term president is opposed by a secessionist movement, the Western Forces, led by the states of California and Texas. The taking of Washington D.C. by the WF is inevitable. Four war journalists travel from New York to D.C. in an effort to interview the president before the rebels take the capital. On their travels, they encounter atrocities and suffer loss they won't forget. Not to mention they're also facing very possible death themselves traveling through war zones. I understand the movie is taken from the journalists' points of view but for me that was the least interesting aspect of the film. I was wondering more about the events that led to the conflict. I think that would have been a more interesting movie than what we got. There was a lot of brutality depicted. I know the journalists were going through their own personal journeys, but nothing really resonated for me. The best part was the siege of the White House at the end. By then, I was more than ready for my journey to be over. Kirsten Dunst stars.
**3/4 stars
Inside Out 2- Pixar's annual summer release is the sequel to the studio's 2015 hit, Inside Out. Oh, those pesky but well-meaning emotions in young Riley Andersen's head (Joy, Anger, Fear, Disgust, and Sadness) have returned to guide her through the trials and tribulations of her young life. With de facto leader, Joy, at the helm of Riley's emotional control panel, she has tried her best to create a positive self-image in the girl and, has mostly succeeded. But in every child's life, one thing is inescapable. The dreaded puberty. And with puberty, comes a set of new emotions (Anxiety, Envy, Embarrassment, and Ennui) to crowd an already full control room in her head. With hockey tryouts, maintaining friendships, and trying to fit in to new environments, can the new and original emotions work together to get Riley through it all? Or will they leave her an emotional train wreck? Inside Out 2 cleverly expands on the creative world its predecessor introduced to us. The true fun, as always, is how those emotions translate to Riley's actions in the real world. It's a mostly humorous and sometimes sad ride. Her emotions put the audience through the wringer, too. Both films have masterfully navigated the inner workings of a young girl's mind giving some darker, even subversive, material to chew on while still remaining whimsical. It's a precarious balance but both pull it off.
**** stars
Joker: Folie a Deux- Todd Phillips returns to direct the sequel to 2019's surprise billion-dollar megahit, Joker. While mostly loved with an Oscar-winning performance by Joaquin Phoenix to boot, the 2019 film still had its fair share of detractors who believed this was not the true depiction of DC Comics' iconic Batman villain. So the question is will this sequel change any minds? We pick up some time after the original film with Arthur Fleck still in custody at Arkham State Hospital where he is mocked and sometimes brutalized by hospital security staff. Soon to be on trial for his various crimes, Arthur meets what appears to be a kindred spirit at a music therapy session, one Harleen Quinzel. "Lee" has a tragic story herself and is drawn to Arthur's darker side. But can these two emotionally scarred individuals have any semblance of a life together considering their current incarcerations and Arthur possibly being found guilty on murder charges? Ahhh, but when there's crazy, there's a way. I'm sure most of you have heard the rumors by now that this movie is a musical. That is a fairly true statement. There are several musical numbers here and a very cryptic animated sequence at the film's start. It's kind of a musically oriented Shakespearean tragedy. Actually this part of the movie didn't hit too much of a sour note with me and, self-confession, I'm not the biggest fan of musicals. But Buffy the Musical worked, why not this? My issue with the sequel is we were already introduced to Arthur Fleck in 2019. We saw a troubled man tragically spiral into madness. It was disturbing and more than a trifle sad. I gave a pass that the 2019 movie was more-or-less an Elseworlds-type of story. A what-if Joker, so to speak. Arthur achieved full villain status by the end. So, in the sequel, it's time to bring the menace and mayhem of the character to light. Full Joker mode. Sadly, that's not what we get. What we do get is a sad return to Arthur Fleck with very little of the mayhem. Maybe I was expecting too much, but I was hoping for at least a progression of the character not a regression. I did like the more grounded manipulative approach to the Harley Quinn character but we didn't see enough of her. We never got the sinister of this relationship of just having two "whack-a-moles" unleashed on the world. And that's mostly because we got a self-doubting main character. I'm not sure anyone was looking for this. And let's not talk about the ending that I'm sure is going to leave a few of you scratching your heads. "Artsy-Joker" is just not what I think many audiences are expecting. One thing I do believe though is Todd Phillips put a definitive stamp on whether or not he wants to do more of these. What this felt like is a studio who got a shocking billion-dollar megahit scrambling to put together a sequel for a film that was probably only meant to be a one-off. Very disappointing. Joaquin Phoenix and Lady Gaga star.
**1/2 stars
Terrifier 3- Are we ready for a third round of Damien Leone's extreme slasher series? Was the world ready for the first two editions that have made the series a cult classic? What type of bloody disgusting carnage is in store for us in the year 2024? Our story picks up five years after the events of Terrifier 2 in a traditionally brutal way which is on par for this series. Siblings Sienna and Jonathan Shaw are still trying to pick up the pieces after their near fatal encounter with supernatural serial killer, Art the Clown. Sienna, who has some otherworldly ties to the unknown of her own, feels in her heart that she didn't fully dispatch Art in their last encounter which proves to be correct. Only this time, Art has an accomplice. A blast from the past if you will from the first film. A fully possessed acolyte under his complete control. Or is that the other way around? In any case, everything and everyone Sienna holds dear is in mortal danger. I believe I said in my review of Terrifier 2 that this series exists on a different plane. It defies good or bad. It just is. It's a very acquired taste. Even among hardcore horror fans. These movies are essentially blood orgies. Not for everyone. And the great or bad thing about them depending on your perspective is each one tries to up the ante a little bit more. Each film has one signature death among the rest of the bloodletting that is way over-the-top graphic and hard to watch. Or cartoonish to watch according to your particular sensibilities. Imagine the cartoonish scene of the Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail only with gallons more blood and a visceral nastiness to it. When you think the series won't go there, oh it will. And not man, woman, or child is safe. I don't know what this says about me necessarily, but I'm disgusted and amused by Art at the same time. Honestly, I think that's the reaction Leone and all the twisted creative minds behind this series want you to have. A mute rabid animal of a killer who is a bit whimsical in manner. Until he bites your face off! I had a good time with this. I admire the audacity of where they'll take a kill. Plus, it's a Christmas-themed horror movie. I do love how those traditions are stomped into the ground in these types of films.
***3/4 stars
Smile 2- When a movie in the horror genre takes in a $200M+ gross, you know at least one sequel is coming your way in the future. Director Parker Finn continues the nightmare fuel that was 2022's Smile in this sequel that picks up six days after its predecessor. After clearing up some of the original's loose ends, the curse of the Smile Entity is passed on to recovering pop star, Skye Riley, who is about to embark on a comeback tour after a tragic accident that took the life of her boyfriend and nearly took hers as well. So, how much can a demonic being mess around with a drug addicted star under constant pressure to perform? The fun is in the journey. And, oh what a journey this becomes. Too many times, sequels in general and horror sequels in particular, fall way short of the originals. They either try too hard to be more than their predecessor or they veer off into Planet Zero where they become unrecognizable. But when you get one that hits all the right notes, you have truly found something precious. I loved the first Smile. It was my pick as best movie of 2022. Smile 2 is even better. Jump scares are a dime a dozen in horror but they can still be effective if they hit the sweet spot of creepy sprinkled with dread. Smile 2 does it right. The best thing about the film which could have been atrocious in the wrong hands is you're not always sure what's real and what is in Skye's mind. It masterfully keeps you guessing as Skye keeps spiraling down her dark hole. What Parker Finn has done exceptionally well in both films is completely isolate the protagonist. Neither is crazy (per se) but that can't prove it. They can't explain their actions. They alienate everyone in their sphere unintentionally. The Smile Entity beats them down mentally until there's nothing left but submission. And then, you have the dread Joker smiles which is the icing on this near perfect horror cake. I give special consideration to lead actress, Naomi Scott. She gave a perfectly fidgety unhinged performance of a woman already on shaky ground mentally who unravels piece by excruciating piece until the inevitable. It takes a special talent to make "scared" believable. I believed Skye's terror. I've said in other reviews that I don't think 2024 has been a good year for horror. I might have to amend that with the last couple of efforts I've seen. Also, my top 10 of the year? It's getting a little crowded around that top spot now.
****1/2 stars
Immaculate- An Italian convent is the setting of this indie horror film from fledgling American company, Neon. Sister Cecelia is a young nun invited to join a convent in Italy that tends to dying nuns. Upon her arrival, Cecelia begins having strange dreams, notices an odd relic housed in the facility, and is taken aback by scarring on some of the nuns' bodies. Not to mention that she mysteriously becomes pregnant while still a virgin. All events culminate into a dread secret held by the high-ranking officials of the convent that doesn't bode well for the young nun. The name of the film in conjunction with the description given might give some insight of what might be happening here. You would be correct in believing this is yet another "Catholic Church Gone Wild" movie. However, if you delve deeper, it's a little more than that. It's an allegory on women's bodily autonomy struggling in the face of authoritarianism. It's a subject that has become a powder keg in recent years. Immaculate is not a great movie. Outside of the lead actress, there really is no one else of note here. But she throws herself in the role, and, while not particularly scary, the film does have a certain creepiness about it. Sydney Sweeney stars.
*** stars
Longlegs- Continuing the Neon horror festival, we have a supernatural crime thriller from director Osgood Perkings. The vibe, borrowing heavily from Silence of the Lambs, follows FBI agent Lee Harker as she attempts to track down an occultist serial killer responsible for the murder of several families in Oregon. Calling himself Longlegs, the elusive killer's web may have threads that hit a little close to home for Agent Harker. This movie does ooze creepy in spades. It throws a few wicked curveballs at you. It also gives Nicolas Cage another opportunity to do what he does best. Act like an unhinged maniac. However, Longlegs is also a puzzling movie. Along with the twists and turns also comes some hallucinogenic imagery that doesn't make a lot of sense. Also, there's a side story of Agent Harker possibly being clairvoyant that doesn't go anywhere. At times it feels like Perkins is throwing everything at the wall to see what sticks. If he had stuck to crime thriller element and expounded on the supernatural flair that came with the Longlegs character, this would have been a much tighter plot. As is, Longlegs is worth a look, but, you'll come away with a feeling of how this could have been a better movie with a few tweaks. In addition to Cage, Maika Monroe, Blair Underwood, and Alicia Witt co-star.
*** stars
Despicable Me 4- The sixth, yes, count 'em, sixth installment in the Despicable franchisee and direct sequel to 2017's Despicable Me 3, villain-turned-secret agent, Gru, is back with wife, children, and hundreds of those tiny chaotic yellow guys, the Minions. This time around, Gru relocates the family due to tthe threat of a vengeful arch enemy. The film throws several irons into the fire. The family's adjustment to their new lives. A teenage neighbor who wishes to follow in Gru's former villainous footsteps. A group of Minions transformed to superheroes. A new baby who doesn't like daddy Gru very much. This movie like every other in the franchise after Minions has diminishing returns. DM4 is better than 2022's Rise of Gru but that's a low bar. It's cute. It's amusing. The Minions are as wacky as ever but none of it feels fresh any longer. It's become a franchise of "Ha ha, the Minions just did something obnoxious. For the billionth time." I don't want to give the impression I hated the movie. I didn't. I just think this franchise ran its course seven years ago. But there are worse ways you can spend your time. You won't remember DM4 two minutes after you've watched it. Featuring the voices of Steve Carell, Kristen Wiig, Stephen Colbert, Steve Coogan, Sofia Vergara, Miranda Cosgrove, Joey King, and Will Ferrell.
*** stars
Heretic- Horror entangles with the subject of faith in this psychological thriller that finds two Mormon missionaries having more than a deep discussion with a reclusive Englishman. Sisters Barnes and Paxton may never look at their devotion the same way after Mr. Reed plays inside their heads. If they survive the night that is. Heretic is a very different kind of horror movie. We've seen horror that takes on faith before but it's usually in the form of demonic possession. That's not what's happening here. For about half the runtime, it's a deep discussion between three individuals about the trappings of faith, why people have such devotion, and how anyone can believe their religion is "the one." I know that description may not sound very riveting but trust me when I say the way it is done, the way the dialogue is laid out will have you glued to the screen. This is a movie that makes you think. And the reason it's pulled off so well is due to the three actors playing their roles perfectly. Particularly, I'm speaking of Hugh Grant as the enigmatic Mr. Reed. Yes, that Hugh Grant. Mr. nineties rom-com leading man. He gleefully plays with his two young captives. He's disarmingly charming while having sinister intent playing in their mental sandboxes. Heretic is not scary in the classic sense. It's unsettling in the way belief systems are challenged. The latter part of the film does get a bit strange as it takes you to a place you'll never guess it will take you. The ending is very ambiguous taken in context with some things that are discussed earlier in the film. However, if you're looking for a thriller that doesn't rely heavily on bloodletting but still retains an air of dread, you won't find many better than this. Sophie Thatcher and Chloe East co-star.
***3/4 stars
Red One- Christmas needs saving. Again. This time told through the lens of an action comedy. When Santa is kidnapped from the North Pole by a black ops team, it's up his chief commander E.L.F. (Enforcement Logistics and Fortification) to coordinate a rescue effort. But first, he's going to need the aid of someone on the Level 4 Naughty List. A cynical world class hacker named Jack O'Malley who claims to be able to find anything on Earth. Also, Jack's skills are the reason Santa was kidnapped in the first place. Red One is a schmaltzy Christmas movie just like most Christmas movies. It's supposed to give a feelgood vibe which it does. This usually isn't my cup of tea. But, I had a good time with certain elements of this. It provides a few good laughs. The two leads are likable enough although with one of them I'm getting the sense that he's playing a different version of himself over and over. I liked the whole concept of turning the North Pole operation into a paramilitary venture complete with a jacked Santa, bodyguards, and clandestine organizations. The concept of growing weary with the world and the people in it is one I very closely relate to particularly recently. I don't believe the villain's part was written particularly well which could have put this movie way over the top if it had been. And, in the end, Red One turns out to be what I said at the beginning. A schmaltzy feelgood holiday movie. Personally, I prefer subversive holiday horror, but this is one you can take the kids to see that has enough action, special effects, and cynical humor the adults can reasonably enjoy also. But you'll forget about it two minutes after the end credits start rolling. Dwayne Johnson, Chris Evans, J.K. Simmons, and Lucy Liu star.
*** stars
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0 *= Dreck! Barf City!
1-2 *= No redeeming qualities whatsoever
2-3 *= Varying degrees of mediocre
3-4 *= Worth a look to almost excellent
4-5 *= Must see viewing
5 *= You have reached the top of the mountain. And it is good.
