Texas Killing Fields

Reviews from the Dark Side presents:
Texas Killing Fields
Released 2011, now on DVD

Texas Killing Fields is inspired by a string of real-life unsolved murders.  It follows detectives Souder and Heigh.  Heigh is a transplanted NYC detective who seems to have a troubled past with serial killers.

Wouldn't you know that's exactly what Souder and Heigh have to deal with in this movie.  There are a string of murders in Texas.  Mutilated bodies of women are being dumped into the marshes that are chillingly known as the "Killing Fields."  Souder and Heigh are called in by a detective (Souder's ex-wife) in a neighboring town to assist.  Souder is reluctant to help for a couple of reasons, not the least of which is dealing with his ex again.  The killings are also out of the detectives' jurisdiction.  He tries to advise Heigh to leave this case alone, but Heigh is obsessed.  Heigh is even more determined when when a local pre-teen, Ann, is kidnapped.  Both Souder and Heigh know this girl.  Heigh has taken a particular interest in Ann.  To call her family dysfunctional would be the understatement of the year.  It also doesn't help that Ann is taken from under Heigh's nose either.  It's a  race against time as Souder and Heigh try to locate Ann before the killer makes her yet another victim.  Since this is a murder mystery, I'll stop here to avoid spoilers.

The movie stars Sam Worthington as Detective Souder and Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Detective Heigh.  Ann is played by Chloe Grace Moretz.  It bothered me not knowing who this girl was for the longest time because I knew I had seen her before.  Then it hit me.  Vampire girl in Let Me In (a recommended movie by the way).  Michael Mann (Heat, Manhunter, Ali) is given the producer credit on this. 

The movie seems a bit choppy in places.  The scenes sometimes don't seem to follow logically.  What I did like is that unlike other Michael Mann vehicles, the movie didn't last three hours.  There isn't a lot of character depth here though.  Not a bad movie by any means, but nothing you haven't seen before.  There are some interesting shady characters that kind of saves it a little but overall, it's a little forgettable.  Nothing captivating.

The Dark Lord of the Sith says:

**1/2 stars out of 5

Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit!
2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee. Buy this on DVD when released!
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here. Get this DVD goes without saying.

The Killer Elite

Reviews from the Dark Side presents:
The Killer Elite
Released in 2011, now on DVD

Supposedly based on a true story, The Killer Elite Jason Statham, Robert DeNiro, and Clive Owen as three very dangerous killers that cross paths in complicated conspiracy in the 1980's.

The movie begins in Mexico where we find Statham (Danny), DeNiro (Hunter) and another mercenary (Davies) on a covert ops mission of assassination.  Danny and Hunter are friends in blood that seem to have known each other for quite awhile.  After the somewhat botched mission  ends up getting Danny shot in the arm, Danny decides he's had enough of the covert ops biz and retires.


Flash forward one year later and we find Danny trying to enjoy his retirement in Australia.  he receives a mysterious package in the mail  that has a picture of Hunter being held captive.  Two days later, Danny is in Oman to meet the man who has captured Hunter.  The captor is an ex-Shah who is holding Hunter to obtain Danny's services for an impossible mission.  Hunter originally accepted the Sheik's mission for a $6 million bounty and failed. The former king has a very serious dislike for Great Britain due to three of his four sons meeting their end at the hands of the British SAS (British Special Forces) during hostilities between Britain and Oman.  The Sheik was deposed and forced into obscurity in the deserts of Oman.  The Sheik's mission for Danny is threefold:
1.  Find the SAS operatives that killed his sons;
2.  Kill said operatives and get their confessions on tape before their deaths;
3.  Make the killings appear to be accidents so the British government doesn't rain Hell on Oman.

The killings will allow the Sheik's fourth and only surviving son to return to the Sheik's former power.  It seems the old Sheik only has months left to live and wants to leave his son a kingdom.  If Danny fails, Hunter dies.  A tough task for Danny as the SAS, in the words of Davies later in the movie, make the Navy SEALS look like cupcakes.  Danny makes one failed attempt to rescue Hunter from the Sheikh's compound, and then he's off to see the wizard, er, first of the three SAS operatives, Steven Harris, who is already conveniently living in Oman.

Danny enlists the aid of two former colleagues, Davies and Meier.  He will let Davies and Meier split the $6 million reward.  Danny's only concern is for his friend, Hunter.  The team successfully hunts down the SAS on the hit list, losing Meier in the process.  During the pursuit that leads from Oman back to London, they are pursued by another SAS operative, Logan (Owen), who has been set on their trail by a secret cabal of former SAS (known as the Feathermen) that want to keep the force's activities in Oman during the fighting a secret.  Apparently they did some very bad things there that would be embarassing if revealed.  Oh, and another problem.  The kill on the last SAS, Simon McCann, is botched and the team is unable to tape his confession.  Now what does a skilled assassin/mercenary do in this type of situation?  Why you stage the scene and fake the confession of course!  Hey, don't knock it, it actually works!  Hunter is released and both he and Danny go back to their lives.  The Sheik holds the money while he authenticates the killings.  Davies has an unfortunate meeting with a semi as he tries to escape Logan's men who have caught up to him. 

Now you know better than to think this is going to end in a nice neat little bundle right?  There is a fourth SAS involved in the killings, Ranulph Fiennes, who is about to release a book about his experiences in the SAS.   It's also revealed that the first target, Steven Harris, was an innocent man (he did mockingly admit that he was guilty when he was tied up).  Danny goes after Ranulph and is captured by Logan, who has a team protecting him.  Before capture he is able to infiltrate the building where the author is housed and stages another scene to make it appear as if Ranulph is dead (he only wounds Ranulph) and takes pictures.  Danny has had more this is fill of killing.  Danny is able to escape with the timely intervention of a British government agent.  Seems the British government doesn't like secret societies like the Feathermen.  It's bad for business, particularly since if the Sheik's son is in power they might have access to valuable oil fields.  In a three way slugfest, the British agent is killed by Logan. 

Now it's a race against the clock as Danny, Hunter, and Logan race back to Oman to meet the Sheik.  Logan reaches him first to inform him that Danny's photos are fake and then stabs the old man to death.  Seems number four son has no love for dear old dad making him the soon to be  king of a desert nation and gives Logan the money intended for Danny.  Danny and Hunter see Logan leaving when they arrive and pursue him along with the Sheik's men.  Danny and Hunter stop them and confront Logan on a desert road.  Hunter takes some of the money for himself and his family and the two leave the rest with Logan.  Logan has a decision to make as he's made a lot of very important people angry.  He killed the British agent that provided the diversion for Danny to escape and he has defied the Feathermen.  He has enough money to disappear.  What will he do?  Not important as the movie ends with Danny arriving in France to meet his girlfriend to start his life anew. 

There is a secondary story involving the relationship of Danny and his girlfriend and Danny having to protect her from his former life. 

I'm a little on the fence with this one.  In my mind, right or wrong, I kind of thought going in it was going to be a battle of wills between three highly proficient killers.  Movie wasn't even remotely about that which left me a little disappointed.  There wasn't quite as much action as I thought there would be, but the action that's in it is pretty good.  There are two nice fights between Danny and Logan and Danny/Logan/British Agent.  I've read that Jason Statham has no formal martial arts training.  He fakes it very well in his movies.  Gotta love Clive Owen rockin' the porn 'stache and DeNiro rockin' a little Grizzly Adams. 

Overall, I'll say it's good and worth watching once.  The Darth Lord of the Sith gives this one:


                                      *** out of 5

Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit!
2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee. Buy this on DVD when released!
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here. Get this DVD goes without saying.

Thin Ice

Reviews From the Dark Side presents:
Thin Ice
Released 2/17/12

This movie may be the only one in history that takes place in Kenosha, WI.  Well, the only one I know anyway.  Greg Kinnear, who in my opinion, is a very underrated actor, stars as Mickey Prohaska.  Mickey is a smarmy, fast talking, down on his luck insurance salesman.  Mickey has had a tough go of it lately.  His business is failing, he's separated from his wife, and cash has started to dry up.  He needs to drum up more business or a big score.  He gets an opportunity when he steals a potential client from his new protégé. 

The client is Gorvy Hauer (played by Alan Arkin), an eccentric old farmer who tries to pay for his new homeowner's policy with a large jar of change.   It also happens that Gorvy has a violin that belonged to his late sister that he has appraised while Mickey in his home (and Gorvy's sound asleep).  The appraisal comes in at $25,000 as Gorvy is in possession of an expensive copy of a classical violin.  Mickey's wheels start turning as he tries to think of way to con Gorvy out of his valuable instrument.  He lies to the farmer about the value and offers to take it off his hands for his stepson for a "reasonable" total of $10.  Gorvy is hesitant to sell it to Mickey as the appraiser later contacts him and gives him the true value.  Mickey comes up with a plan to steal the violin and replace it with a knockoff while the farmer is out of town. 

One problem.  At the suggestion of Mickey's protégé, Gorvy has installed a home security system.  Luckily, he already met the locksmith (Billy Cruddup) who installed the system on an earlier visit (who Mickey also catches trying to steal the old farmer's clock).  He asks the locksmith to open the house and shut down the alarm because he accidentally left some insurance papers.  The locksmith reluctantly opens the house as Mickey blackmails him with calling the police for the attempted theft of the clock earlier.  Mickey heads up to the attic and switches the expensive violin for the knockoff (witnessed by the locksmith).

 Mickey's luck is all bad as Gorvy's neighbor stops by to check on the house.  The neighbor thinks nothing of Mickey being in the house at first because he helped introduce him to Gorvy.  He gets suspicious when he sees Mickey holding the gym bag carrying the violin and neither Mickey nor the locksmith can come up with an explanation.  The neighbor tries to call the police and that's when things get haywire.  Turns out the locksmith is a bit of a psychopath who has a record.  He smashes the neighbor in the back of the skull with a hammer while a scared-to-death Mickey looks on.  He then takes a Polaroid of Mickey standing in the house to blackmail him into assisting with disposal of the body. 

The rest of the movie involves cover up, an insurance policy, false appraisals, and Mickey's life spinning more and more out of control.  I'll stop here and won't spoil the punchline at the end.  There are several twists and turns with events at the beginning of the movie having significance at the end.  Keep Mickey's words in mind as you watch, "Believe nothing you hear and only half of what you see." 

This is an interesting movie with a couple of good performances.  I've already mentioned my feelings on Greg Kinnear.  I really liked Alan Arkin in this as the eccentric and confused (?) Gorvy. Billy Crudup goes from zero to psycho in a split second very well.    Thin Ice is a dark comedy in the same vain as say, Fargo.  In both movies, a simple crime that should have no casualties gets comically out of hand.  I wouldn't necessarily say it's going to be on everyone's must watch list, but if you're looking for something entertaining and different, give it a shot. 

The Dark Lord of the Sith says:

***stars

Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit!
2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee.
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here. 

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

Reviews from the Dark Side presents:
Ghost Rider:  Spirit of Vengeance

I think the best thing I can say about this movie is it's a good thing Marvel is releasing The Avengers and The Amazing Spider-Man later this year to redeem themselves.  While I thought the first Ghost Rider was entertaining on a level, this one was just bizarre.  Nicholas Cage does the best he can with his usual sleepy to manic aplomb, but he's fighting a losing battle. 

The first mistake was we didn't see enough of the Rider for my liking.  When we did see him, he was a little strange, even for him.  What I mean is when have you known Ghost Rider to twitch like he had some kind of  junky itch?  And what was with the long, seemingly endless stare into someone's eyes?  I know in the comic book that was supposed to be the "Penance Stare."  If you gazed into Ghost Rider's vacant eye sockets, the evil things you did in your life was supposed to come back to you a thousand fold and reduce you to a mass of quivering Jello.  Here Ghost Rider would look at you forever and the dude would look scared, but it's the natural scared you'd feel if a guy with a flaming skull for a head grabbed you.  Really cheesy.  Also, does anyone who followed Ghost Rider in the comics  remember the spirit being an angel that went crazy?  Yep, that's how they explained it in this movie.  Not that he was the demon Zarathos bonded to Johnny Blaze.  Guess saying he's a crazy angel gets you to like him more.  I don't know.  The whole fun of Ghost Rider was that, like the Hulk, Blaze was always trying to keep the demon at bay so he wouldn't hurt anyone.  Now I guess its ok if he comes out because he's an angel.  Oh well. Maybe that happened when Danny Ketch was Ghost Rider.  Also, what's with the inconsistency of the Rider's durability.  At one point he's disabled by a grenade and Johnny Blaze wakes up licking his wounds in a hospital.  In another scene he gets hit with a Bunker Buster missile and gets up like the unstoppable freight train he should be.

As for the plot, it's a kind of ho-hum tale of a woman making a deal with the devil, having the devil's child, and then trying to keep the child from the devil by hiding out with religious orders in Europe.  Of course, Satan wants his kid back and sends mercenaries to hunt him down.  Things go haywire, the mother and kid escape the mercenaries' clutches with an assist from a soldier from the order.  Soldier survives and finds Johnny Blaze who is doing his best hermit impression to try to stay away from people.  The spirit that he's bonded with is able to track the son of Satan and it's a race against time to see who ultimately gets to the boy, The Rider and his allies or Satan's minions.  Oh, and the reason Blaze is doing this is because the he's promised that he can be ridded of the Rider. 

Now I don't want to sound like this is all negativity.  There were some good things.  Some of the effects surrounding the Rider were pretty good.  The badass chain he uses crispy frying anyone it touches and any vehicle the Rider used turning into an unstoppable fiery engine of destruction were really good. 

So this is not the worst comic book movie I've ever seen.  Batman and Robin still holds that honor.  Actually Catwoman was pretty wretched, too, but I'll still give the honor to B&R.  But this was definitely not the best comic book movie or even middle of the road. 

The Dark Lord of the Sith says:

**stars (barely)


Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit!
2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee.
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here. 

Batman Year One

Reviews from the Dark Side presents:
Batman Year One

Animated adaptation of Frank Miller's classic graphic novel. The title says it all. It follows Bruce Wayne's return to Gotham City as a 25 year old after "studying" abroad for 12 years. If you know the Batman mythos, you know what types of studies he undertook (is that a word?). The movie also has a parallel story following Lt. James Gor...don's (voiced by Bryan Cranston) assignment to the Gotham City PD where he encounters an almost totally corrupt police force and an even more corrupt commisioner who is in bed with the Gotham mobs. As maybe the only two people in Gotham that actually want to do something about the rampant crime in the city, you know Bruce and Gordon will eventually cross paths. Bruce starts his crimefighting career by trying to disguise himself as a thug to blend in to the Gotham's underbelly. After  beating a pimp, encountering a woman by the name of Selina (Catwoman with a totally wackado close cropped haircut) who matches him fist for kick, getting shot by corrupt cops, and then escaping from said cops, Bruce decides he needs something more. Something that will inspire fear. As he lay in his chair bleeding to death, a bat crashes through the mansion window and perches itself on top of his father's bust. Inspiration. He then rings for Alfred and the rest is history. Gordon encounters his share of trouble, too. As one of the only non-corrupt cops on the force, he's attacked and beaten by fellow cops who also threaten his pregnant wife. Gordon goes into tough guy mode and tracks the leader down and beats him decisively. Eventually Bruce (finally as Batman) and Gordon's paths cross when Gordon is assigned to capture the Batman. Batman and Gordon end up working together to expose the corruption in the GCPD and the legendary bond is formed between them. At only an hour and 4 minutes this is a quick watch and a good addition to the Batman filmography. Very entertaining.

The Dark Lord of the Sith says:

***1/2 stars

Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit!
2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee. Buy this on DVD when released!
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here. Get this DVD goes without saying.