Central Intelligence

Reviews from the Dark Side presents
Central Intelligence
Released 6/17/16

In a Summer inundated with sequels, it seems rather strange to have a new weekend highlighted by an original feature.  Whoops, scratch that.  Finding Dory was released this weekend.  Oh well, the spy farce "Central Intelligence", was released this week as well.  Starring Dwayne Johnson and top comedian-of-the-moment, Kevin Hart, CI certainly has the comedic star power to be great.  But, also keep in mind both actors have given us such gems as The Game Plan, Tooth Fairy, The Wedding Ringer, and Ride Along 2.  So, I guess what I'm saying is I had a 50/50 chance of seeing something that was actually funny.

We begin in a common high school in 1996.  Friendless, overweight Robbie Weirdicht (Johnson) is grossly embarrassed at a school assembly when he's tossed onto the gym floor naked in front of the student body by a few bullies.  As an act of kindness, "Mr. Everything" in the senior class, Calvin Joyner (Hart), gives his letterman's jacket to Robbie to cover up.  As we'll learn later, Robbie leaves school never to be heard from again until...

Go forward 20 years.  Calvin's life hasn't turned out quite the way he envisioned.  Voted most likely to succeed by the senior body, he's stuck in a dead end, mid-level accounting job.  Sure he married the prom queen, but, professionally, his life stinks.  His protégé has just been given the promotion he was after while his wife is a partner in her law firm making her a far greater success in the business world.  He's at a point in his life where he definitely does NOT want to discuss it at his upcoming high school reunion, a gathering he has vehemently decided not to attend to the chagrin of his wife. 

At a low point, he reluctantly accepts a friend request on Facebook from someone who claims to know him.  Little does Calvin know that "Bob Stone" is the former Robbie Weirdicht.  To say Robbie has changed is an understatement as he's miraculously turned 300 pounds of flab into rock hard muscle.  How, you ask?  As Robbie explains, "I worked out six hours a day for the last 20 years."  Anybody can do it, right? 

He has a weird belief that Calvin is his best friend and has another bombshell to drop when they meet for drinks.  After easily dispatching a few bar thugs, he reveals that he's in the CIA.  That's not all, as he also needs his "friend" Calvin's accounting skills to uncover a plot to sell America's spy satellite codes.  Oh, and, he just happens to be on the run from the CIA who believe he's insane.  And, to be honest, so does Calvin. 

So, let's get down to it.  Is Central Intelligence funny?  The answer would be yes.  At times, it's extremely funny.  There's never been any denying of Johnson's comedic chops or timing going back to his days as "The Rock" in WWE.  Even in his "bad" movies like the aforementioned Game Plan and Tooth Fairy, he was the best thing about them.  In CI, he plays Robbie with an almost childlike quality relating to Hart's character.  It's funny, but, almost heartbreaking at the same time.  He's a grown man desperately seeking acceptance with more than a few deep seated psychological issues. He's genuinely hurt when his "friend" momentarily betrays him in the film.

Kevin Hart is a bit of an enigma for me.  I think he is a genuinely funny guy.  But, there are times he has a tendency to go too over the top with his buffoonery.  The recent Ride Along 2 (and, for that matter, Ride Along) is a perfect example of that.  I pretty much have that reaction to the late Robin Williams as well.  Comedy is always a funny thing with people (I swear I wasn't trying to do that just now).  Everyone has a different fine line between what's funny and what isn't.  And, it's ever changing.  Hart still walks through his same manic mannerisms as always in CI, but, it was a little more palatable for me here as he takes the less traveled road of straight man.

In a film that could have easily turned into a battle of one-upmanship of who gets the best gag, Johnson and Hart play very well off each other.  There's nothing special about the plot of this film but, these two keep it fresh and funny even through it's clichéd ending of the underdog getting revenge on his former tormentor.  There are even some pretty good action sequences to boot.

Speaking of tormentor, there are a few notable co-starring roles.  Jason Bateman is an excellent asshat (can I say that?) as the adult version of Robbie's lead high school bully.  If you saw him in 2015's "The Gift", you know it's a part he can play very well, although he goes back to his comedic roots in CI.  Aaron Paul of Breaking Bad fame is Robbie's former partner in the CIA who may not be all he appears to be.  Then, there's an ending cameo that was quite the surprise from a certain actress in an uncredited role.  I won't say who this is except she's become huge in recent memory. 

If you're tired of the endless parade of sequels this Summer, and, you're looking for something light and silly, Central Intelligence is here for you.  With two comedic leads who have excellent chemistry to the unexpected guest appearances, you can't help but have a good time.  Well, I did  hint that comedy is kind of a personal thing.  I was entertained at least.

The Dark Lord of the Sith says:

***3/4 stars

Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit!
2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Worth a look.  Better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. I'm doing my happy dance!
5 *= Pure eye candy. I have seen the top of the mountain, and it is good

X-Men: Apocalypse

Reviews from the Dark Side presents
X-Men:  Apocalypse
Released 5/27/16

It's survival of the fittest for Marvel Comics' mutant heroes as they face their greatest threat to date in this week's release of X-Men:  Apocalypse.  As far as superhero movies go, it's hard to garner any major positive attention with the phenomenal success of Marvel Studios this decade, but, after some very rocky moments earlier in the millennium, Fox's licensed X-Men franchise has experienced a resurgence.  From the respectable comeback of X-Men:  First Class in 2011 to the mega-blockbuster of 2014's Days of Future Past, Fox has been on a roll themselves.  They need something after their dismal Fantastic Four atrocities.  Sorry.  Had to go there.

Since Days of Future Past retconned their entire universe, the X-Men now have a malleable future that can steer away from the mistakes made before First Class.  The problem now is Fox has to keep that momentum going and try not to repeat past transgressions.  But, that's the trick.  The more success you have, the more scrutiny you are under.  And, the early returns on the latest adventure, X-Men:  Apocalypse haven't been kind.  James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Nicholas Hoult, Rose Byrne, and Evan Peters reprise their previous roles.  Bryan Singer returns to direct his fourth film in the series.

Apocalypse starts in ancient Egypt where the godlike being and ruler, En Sabah Nur, is ready to undergo a metamorphosis by transferring his consciousness into a younger male body (Oscar Isaac) with the help of his chief lieutenants (The Four Horsemen).  Betrayed by a contingent of his royal guards, his lieutenants are killed and he's buried for centuries.  But, thanks to one of his Horsemen, the transfer to the younger body is completed.  En Sabah Nur will slowly regain his might while entombed. 

Forward to the 1980's, approximately ten years after the major events of Days of Future Past where we find a few new, yet, familiar faces on the chessboard.  We're introduced to a young Scott Summers (Tye Sheridan) who is just discovering there's a major issue with his eyes.  An issue that's best solved at a certain school for the gifted in Westchester, New York.

Mutant shapeshifter, Raven (Lawrence), continues her role from DOFP as mutant advocate and liberator.  In other words, she hunts the globe for mutants who are mistreated and frees them from their captors. In one such instance, she breaks up an illegal cage fighting venue pitting mutant against mutant.  At this time she finds a winged warrior (Ben Hardy) taking on a blue-skinned teleporter (Kodi Smit-McPhee).

And what has become of infamous X-Men frenemy, Erik Lensherr (Fassbender), better known as Magneto?  The Master of Magnetism has been keeping a low profile for several years.  The way he's doing it may surprise you given his past history.

Meanwhile, at the aforementioned Westchester School for Gifted Youngsters, Professor Charles Xavier's (McAvoy), academy is thriving and teeming with young mutants.  His ever-present assistant and resident scientist, Hank McCoy (Hoult), has remained by his side.  One of Xavier's students is a particularly powerful telepath and telekinetic by the name of Jean Grey (Sophie Turner)

So, while not all bliss, things are relatively peaceful in the mutant universe.  That is, until En Sabah Nur is able to break out of his centuries-old prison.  It's an event witnessed by previous Xavier ally, Moira MacTaggert (Byrne), and felt around the world.  Rumored to be the first mutant ever on Earth, he not only possesses immense power on a personal level, he also has the ability to bestow power on others.  He's unlike anything the modern world has ever seen.  And, speaking of the modern world, he's not happy by what he sees.  Weak humans and their filthy technology rule the day.  In his world only the strongest should survive.  He'll tear this world asunder and build a new one. 

But, to do that, he'll need a new set of Horsemen, powerful mutants whose full potential he can unlock.  He finds his new crew in various arenas.  First, there's a petty thief in Cairo (Alexandra Shipp) with the ability to manipulate the weather.  Then, there's a female enforcer working for low-level criminal with the unique ability to create weapons of psionic energy (Olivia Munn).  Remember the winged cage fighter?  He's given a nasty set of metal wings to replace his feathered ones.  Finally, the fourth Horsemen is one of the most powerful mutants of all who will be made even stronger when En Sabah Nur forces him to embrace his true power.  Who is it?  That would be telling.

X-Men:  Apocalypse is a very busy film as it introduces several new characters.  And, I do include the reintroductions of previous characters here, too.  That's not usually a good thing for this genre. Here, it's done with varying degrees of success.

By far, the most fully realized new character is Jean.   Confident, yet fearful of her true power, there's a believable vulnerability to Sophie Turner's performance that is a standout.  She was good choice as the young Jean.

Tye Sheridan and Kodi Smit-McPhee offer a bit more fleshed out iterations of Cyclops and Nightcrawler.  It's a step in the right direction as both actors add more personality to their respective characters.

Unfortunately, I still don't think Storm has been fully realized.  Part of the issue is that she spent most of the film being manipulated by Apocalypse.  She really didn't have an opportunity to soar.  Also, if you're a fan of Angel/Archangel, you're not going to be too happy either.  There's still very little development here or resemblance to the character from comic lore.  Instead of a wimpy looking little guy like from The Last Stand, you have a tough, pit fighting warrior.  But, when the action starts, he's still very quickly dispatched.

The reaction to Oscar Isaac's Apocalypse has been mixed to say the least.  While I wasn't blown away by the performance, I thought he was a more than adequate villain.  Apocalypse's character has always been about ruling over a world where only the strong survive.  Upon his awakening in the film, every action he takes works toward that goal.  Now, I admit I'm not foremost expert on his comic book counterpart, but, I thought Isaac's conqueror was a believable one.

The backbone of the series since First Class remains the dynamic between McAvoy and Fassbender and their somewhat complicated "bromance."  It's a relationship that I believe has been captured better with these two actors than it was between Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen.  These two have an easy chemistry onscreen captures that "two sides of the same coin" dynamic perfectly.

One thing that's usually been executed well in the X-Men series is the myriad power displays when the mutants are in action.  Apocalypse gives you a ton of eye candy in this department from the destructive nature of Cyclops' optic blasts to the blue smoke left in the wake of Nightcrawler's teleportations.  I think Storm's one on one battle with Cyclops was an excellent display of both mutants' capabilities.  Magneto's mastery of metal is always a welcome sight.  The symbolic "X" he forms with a couple of steel girders was a very nice touch.  Charles' fight with Apocalypse on the astral plane was a well-conceived fight for survival (on Charles' part at least).  I found the Psylocke's psionic weapons manifestations a different, yet, fresh take on her power.  Comic fans are used to seeing her power manifest in a single knife-shaped blade.  In the film she forms sword length blades and whips.  And, since she does survive the ensuing carnage, I'm anxious to see what else the creative minds come up with.  Then, there's Jean and the manifestation of a primal force that's been associated with the character for a very long time.

The scene stealer in the film again belonged to Quicksilver (Evan Peters).  I don't know who conceptualizes his action sequences, but, whoever does has a sense of humor that borders on the ridiculous.  His rescue of Xavier's students from the exploding mansion is easily one of the film's top three scenes.

Now, I just want to briefly touch on some things I found a little peculiar.  Number one, is Raven's/Mystique's new status with the team.  Trying not to give too much away, we'll just say Singer has strayed a bit from canon with this character.  I actually liked Mystique's role prior to the end of the film as being a type of mutant liberator.  Not on the same sometimes over-the-top scale as Magneto had a penchant for, but, on a smaller "righting injustices" type of deal.  She has definitely chosen a side by the end.  I'm not sure how I feel about it just yet.  I'm wondering if Lawrence had some influence on the story arc of this character in relation to her image.

Then, there's the one guy I haven't mentioned yet and he's kind of a big deal.  We are treated to small segment featuring everyone's favorite clawed mutant, Wolverine (Hugh Jackman).  His appearance, taken from the iconic Weapon X story, is a treat because, hey, Jackman as Wolverine is always a treat.  But his appearance is completely unnecessary.  It's as if it's shoehorned in because someone figures any X-Men-related story has to involve him in some way.  If you're expecting to see Wolverine vs. Apocalypse one on one, you'll be sadly disappointed.  This isn't a negative in the film per se, as I'm a firm believer the X-Men series needs to become a little less Wolverine-centric, it's just a strange cameo that doesn't resonate much. 

I would be remiss for not mentioning this as I personally know one lifelong X-Men fan who has taken issue with the team lineup from the first X-Men movie.  If you believed the retcon would make way for the original X-Men team (Cyclops, Jean, Beast, Iceman, and Angel), that doesn't appear to be the case.  If you are one of these fans, I'm not sure when you're going to see it.  Maybe never.  But, for me, at least, I did feel a sense of excitement when the new team is introduced in the Danger Room with a now bald Xavier overlooking the process.

X-Men:  Apocalypse is not the best in the series, but, it's much better than many would have you believe.  This series has never been one to follow canon closely, so, if you've been hanging in until now, Apocalypse will give you no reason to stop.  It's a solid effort.  It's not Civil War.  It's not Deadpool.  Those were exceptional releases in the ever growing superhero genre.  Films like those can spoil you.  As fans we should always want the best.  While Apocalypse may not be that, let's not crucify it for being merely good.

The Dark Lord of the Sith says:

***1/2 stars

Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit!
2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Worth a look.  Better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. I'm doing my happy dance!
5 *= Pure eye candy. I have seen the top of the mountain, and it is good