Escape Room- Here's a suspense thriller for audiences who may be too freaked out by either the Saw or Hostel franchises. Six strangers are sent cryptic invites to a Chicago high rise to solve an escape room, a game where the players need to figure out puzzles for advancement to the next stages. But, as you've probably concluded, these puzzles are deadly if you don't have the right answers, much to the unsuspecting contestants' chagrin. Who's doing this to them and why? Whoever it is knows an awful lot about each and every one of them. Escape Room isn't quite the torture porn that Saw and Hostel are. And, for me at least, isn't nearly as good because it doesn't really have that bone chilling visceral quality. It's a film that piques your curiosity and entertains in the moment, but, leaves no lasting impression. With how this ended, it's very obvious the powers involved are hoping to make this the next big "creative kill" franchise, but, there's just not enough shock and awe to satisfy most genre fans. Deborah Ann Woll and Tyler Labine star.
**1/2 stars
The Prodigy- This is a horror movie that might not be the greatest ever in terms of people acting with a modicum of intelligence, but, it does deliver more often than not on its twisted premise. When a demented serial killer is gunned down on the same night as a couple gives birth to their first child, fate intervenes in the strangest of ways. The child (Miles), a relative genius since he's been in diapers, has a few other bizarre proclivities that vex every adult and child who cross his path. In other words, there's something VERY wrong with Miles. It's a somewhat standard horror piece for much of its runtime, but, it has an ending that, to put it mildly, is fairly "messed up." And that puts it over the top for me. Taylor Schilling of Orange is the New Black fame stars.
***1/4 stars
Greta- Remember the old adage "No good deed goes unpunished?" If you do, then you have the premise of this psychological thriller. A young waitress in New York finds and returns a lost purse she finds on the subway to a lonely middle-aged widow. The two strike up a fast friendship until a shocking discovery reveals all may not be well with one of them. Greta is a competent if not completely spectacular horror/thriller movie. It follows some overused tropes of the genre, but, director, Neil Jordan adds enough creepy chills to at least partially keep you on the edge of your seat. It's not the best thriller on record, but, it's far from the worst. Somewhat predictable, moderately eerie, and reasonably entertaining. Chloe Grace Moretz and Isabelle Huppert star.
***1/4 stars
Us- Comedian Jordan Peele shocked the world a year ago with his witty and intellectual horror effort, Get Out. Peele returns to the shock and awe in his recent sophomore effort, Us. And from advanced word on the film, he appears to have hit another homerun. Though after seeing it myself, I have to say we need to pump the brakes a little on this one. Us is the story of a family's harrowing night confronting a second family (and later, others) that look exactly like them, but, are eerily soulless. Where did they come from? What do they want? The truth is likely not what you think it is. Kudos to Peele for setting a chillingly creepy vibe. There are surely images that will wig you out a bit. But, I can't say I was completely onboard with the story itself. There are explanations provided that just weren't very interesting in my opinion. I don't know if there was a message Peele was trying to convey here, but, it gets lost in the translation. Maybe it was just a straight forward creep fest he was going for. But, what I was expecting wasn't this. And, I so wanted to like this. But, if I'm being honest, I wasn't thrilled by the end of this ride. Lupita Nyong'o, Winston Duke, and Elisabeth Moss star.
**3/4 stars
Pet Sematary- Whether we call the original 1989 film adaptation of this Stephen King chiller a classic is in the eye of the beholder. While it didn't receive a ton of critical acclaim, there are many who love it. This newest 2019 version has received wide critical appeal. It remains to be seen if it will be as loved as its predecessor. I can say for myself that I prefer the 1989 film to this one and I wasn't a huge fan of that one. The affliction I find with the new version is that while it strives to be different, it introduces several unnecessary plot threads that aren't essential to the main plotline. In fact, they make little sense at all. It was all filler designed to make an 80 minute movie a 100 minute movie. As with the 1989 version, a doctor's family moves to a small town in Maine to begin a new life. Unknown to any of them, their land borders a local pet cemetery and just beyond that...something else. A small plot of land that brings things that have died back. But, the resurrected souls are not the same as they were before death. I will give this new film credit for the ending. It provides a different sense of dread than the original, but, just as effective, if not more. Unfortunately, the ending can't completely salvage the previous 90 minutes. Jason Clarke, Amy Seimetz, and John Lithgow star.
**1/2 stars
The Intruder- Let's get it out of the way right off the bat. This is not a good movie. It's not an awful one. It's an entertaining one on a base level. But, it's not good. It's yet another in a long line of thrillers that only works due to its characters' stupidity. In this case, without doubt, the wife is the culprit. A well-to-do couple buys a sprawling home in Napa Valley to start a family. The seller is a sad, but, good-natured widower who has a bit of a separation issue parting with his home. Well, separation issue may be a BIT of an understatement. The widower's creep factor needle moves into the red almost from the moment he meets the happy couple. You'll bang your head on the arm of your chair that Mrs. "Happy Couple" doesn't see this after, oh, say, the second weird occurrence. A wonderfully unhinged performance from Dennis Quaid saves this one from being completely laughable. Michael Ealy and Meagan Good co-star.
**3/4 stars
John Wick: Chapter 3-Parabellum- Little did anyone realize in 2014 that the quintessential action movie of the decade was being unleashed on an unsuspecting audience. But, that's exactly what happened with the release of the first John Wick film. John Wick, the boogeyman among contract killers. The whisper of his name makes hardened assassins soil themselves uncontrollably. Batman only dreams of inspiring this type of dread among the underworld. And through the first two chapters of his saga, you know that fear he invokes is very well deserved. Chapter 3 picks up immediately where Chapter 2 left off with Wick on the run as a marked man in this series' strange alternate universe. Along the way, we're introduced to new characters and learn a little more of the titular antihero's mysterious past while he slays his way through multiple venues and would be contract collectors. When you watch a John Wick movie, there is a fair quantity of suspension of disbelief that accompanies the psychotic visuals your eyes see. But, the viewing pleasure is so much fun, you forgive the liberties that are taken. And, don't misunderstand, I was immensely entertained through much of Chapter 3. But, if I'm honest, I have to admit the storyline is really starting to border on the ludicrous. Almost laughably so. Seriously, parts of this were as mindnumbingly silly as anything I've seen in the last 4-5 Fast and Furious films. The logic behind the "resolution" of John's issue is so convoluted I felt as if the writers painted themselves in such a difficult corner they couldn't write their way out. All of that said, you can't help but to be entertained by the fight choreography. The type of close quarters combat you get from a John Wick film is unlike any other you see outside of Denzel Washington's Equalizer series. I had a grand old time calling out Aikido techniques I recognized. As silly as the film was in places, it was never boring. Wick shoots, stabs, and maims his way through two hours of sheer unhinged mayhem. Of the three movies in the series, I still believe Chapter 2 is the best. While Parabellum was a very good action film, I don't think the series has many legs left narratively. Keanu Reeves returns as the titular hitman. Halle Berry, Ian McShane, and Laurence Fishburne co-star.
***1/2 stars
What Men Want- I'll be real with all of you. I had absolutely no desire to see this movie upon its release. Why would I? By all indications from the trailers, it was Hollywood's latest entry of remaking earlier films with male leads and switching them out for female leads. It's the epitome of lazy writing. And it's a new take on a fair to middling Mel Gibson movie at that. Does anyone remember the harmless, but, very forgettable "What Women Want" from 2000? And, as I'm watching this, I, and I'm sure, you, will be able to call out the plot every step of the way. Hard charging female sports agent who's good at her job, but, very bad and insensitive to personal relationships suffers an accident where she can magically read what all human males think in the aftermath. Cheap laughs are the flavor of the day as she initially bungles her way through a bombardment of male data overload, but, eventually learns to use the new gift to her advantage and the detriment of some others in her circle. Lessons are learned; feelings are trampled. There are some cringey moments of evil men trying to screw over women that were a bit overbearing at times. So, all in all, you might have deduced, I hated this movie. Well, to my overwhelming surprise, I didn't. There are some genuinely funny moments here. Knock me over with a feather, I really laughed more than a few times. Is What Men Want comedy gold? No. Is it an adequate piece of comic entertainment? Shockingly, yes. Taraji P. Henson, Aldis Hodge, and Tracy Morgan star.
*** stars
Brightburn- What if an alien infant crash landed on Earth in rural Kansas and was adopted by a kindhearted couple as their own? Years later, it's discovered that the boy is "special." Complete with super strength, invulnerability, flight, and heat vision, the alien tries to make his way and understand himself in this crazy new world. Sounds familiar, right? Like a guy from Krypton who wears a big red "S." Only this ain't Superman that producer James Gunn has given us this time. No, no, no and I say nay, nay! Brandon Breyer is no one's Clark Kent. Oh, what a tangled web. What Gunn and David Yarovesky have given us is a new subgenre of the superhero movie. Maybe it's been done before and I can't think of the instances before, but, what we have here is superhero horror! That's right. This is a crazy mind screw if you're a fan of the big blue boy scout. But, it's crazy in the best way possible. But, that's just me. I've never been a big fan of Big Blue. So, I'm not sure how his fans will feel about this hijack of his mythos. But, rest assured, while the story is similar, this is definitely NOT Clark. And for fear of giving away too much of the plot, I'll quote something from an earlier review. There's something VERY wrong with Brandon! Elizabeth Banks stars.
***3/4 stars
Happy Death Day 2U- The farcical 2017 slasher film gets an unlikely sequel in 2019. If you thought the first installment was loopy and convoluted, you ain't seen nothin' yet! The sequel finds the heroine of the first movie, Tree, stuck in another endless Groundhog Day-like loop in which her day restarts after she is killed. Even more so than the first, part 2 focuses on comedy more than the actual horror. It's a preposterous premise. And everyone involved from the actors to the director know it. They almost wink at the audience at various points. But, it's so much fun, you forgive its eccentricities. Much praise goes to Jessica Rothe as the lead. Her manic portrayal of Tree is the engine that moves this crazy train.
***1/4 stars
Cold Pursuit- Most films labeled as dark comedies the past few years have been immensely disappointing for me. They're either not very dark or (worse), not very amusing. In Cold Pursuit, you have dark comedy as it was meant to be. Brutal and "I really shouldn't laugh at that" amusing. Granted this is not Tarantino, but, it does the job nicely in a Fargo-esqe manner. A modest unassuming snow plow driver in Colorado has his mundane life turned upside down when his son is murdered by cronies of the local drug kingpin. His wife has a psychotic break and he systematically hunts down his son's killers climbing the ladder to the leader, Viking. The ensuing chaos can only be described as bizarre and ludicrous when a rival cartel gets involved in this crazy mix. And Liam Neeson displaying his usual deadpan stoicism in the midst of lunacy adds icing to the cake. My only complaint is I think it dragged on a little longer than it needed to.
***1/4 stars
Ma- I'm sure it's some teenagers' dream to have an adult as one of their "cool" friends. The kind of friend who buys them booze and let's them party anytime they wish at his/her home. And there you have the setup of this psychological thriller. Fate has five teenagers cross paths with the middle-aged Sueann who works for the local veterinarian. After helping them buy alcohol, she befriends and begins partying with her new young mates. All is fun and merriment between the new buddies. For awhile. Sueann, who is affectionately known as Ma to her teenage crew, has...secrets. And, some long standing ones at that. Ma has some baggage. And, that might not be a good thing for anyone in her orbit. Ma doesn't really break any new ground in the thriller genre (except maybe the jogger meeting the car). But, you know what sells this film? Ma herself. You have never seen Octavia Spencer in a role like this. And, those little wry smiles she gives throughout? I can't get into the actress's head, but, she looks like she's having the time of her life with this role. She sold out on this character in the best way possible. As a pro wrestling fan, I've always said the best way for a longtime babyface to turn heel is fully commit to the character. Embrace and sell the darkness with gusto. Spencer does that. For Ma, it's good to be bad. Juliette Lewis and Luke Evans co-star.
***1/2 stars
Triple Frontier- With the star power this film possessed, I was kind of expecting a "rock'em, sock'em" paramilitary adventure. What I got was a bit of a bland paramilitary heist feature. Five ex- Delta Force operatives conspire to steal millions from a reclusive Columbian crimelord in his remote fortress of a home. While initially successful in the endeavor, the crew encounters pitfalls along their escape path, not the least of which is their own greed. I think my main issue with this film is a bit of the wishy-washy manner in which these five men were presented. After years of service with little to show for it, they were definitely out to get theirs on this venture, but, they also straddled the line of being men of integrity. While kind of losing their integrity pulling off this heist in the first place. In other words, the film didn't seem to want to pick a lane for them. And it was exactly these bland shades of gray that made this Netflix exclusive a little lackluster for me. Despite its vanilla nature, the performances of the team were good enough to keep you watching until the end. Ben Affleck, Charlie Hunnam, Oscar Isaac, Garrett Hedlund, and Pedro Pascal star.
*** stars
The Perfection- Arthouse horror is stupefyingly incomprehensible in most cases. They tend to be so subversive, they lose sight of their story. This Netflix horror/thriller is what I would call on the artsier side of the equation. But, it's surprisingly well thought out. A young woman who was a musical prodigy before her mother's fatal illness returns to her former mentor. While she was away, she was replaced by a younger student who has gone on to great fame and adulation under her mentor's guidance. Surprisingly, the two musicians strike up a friendship that becomes a romance. Doesn't sound like much of a horror movie yet, right? Just wait. This story has layers. Events that seemingly make no sense on the surface have deeper meanings. And the ending. Oh, the ending. It's a true "Whoa!" moment. I actually said something stronger, but, I'm trying to keep this review clean. This film from Richard Shepard is subversive in the best possible ways. Allison Williams, Logan Browning, and Steven Weber star.
***3/4 stars
Stuber- A hapless Uber driver meets up with a gruff, visually impaired LAPD detective out for revenge in this action comedy from Michael Dowse. This is going to be a very simple review. This movie was just dumb. But, dumb fun in most cases. The chuckles are constant. There are some big laughs sprinkled in. This is not a sophisticated comedy by any means, but, it's pleasant enough and has a little bit of heart. It has fairly good chemistry between the two leads. It's not a waste of time if you're looking to put a smile on your face. Kumail Nanjiani, Dave Bautista, Karen Gillan, and Mira Sorvino star.
***1/4 stars
Little- Well here's a story that's been retread dozens of times. Or, a few at least. A mean-spirited adult is magically transformed into a child again to learn a few hard lessons about kindness and being a decent human being overall. This is a generic comedy in every sense of the word. It provides the usual fish out of water gags. It makes attempts at having a heart, but, the film is a rather soulless venture. There are a couple of decent laughs, but, nothing that makes the movie a must see by any means. Regina Hall, Issa Rae, and Marsai Martin star.
**3/4 stars
Shazam!- Warner Brothers' DCEU has been on a bit of a roll lately. While not quite reaching the eye-popping accolades of the rival Marvel Studios, their last two efforts, Wonder Woman and Aquaman, were huge financial successes with substantial critical praise to boot. So the question with their latest effort, Shazam!, is could they go 3 for 3. Well, here's the thing. Shazam! is meant to be a fun movie with lower stakes than most of its predecessors in the DCEU. Nothing wrong with that. But, for me, at least, it fails in producing the same type of grandeur that WW and Aquaman gave us. It's a fun, harmless movie to be sure. But, that's all it is. By comparison, a movie like Ant-Man, was just supposed to be an amusing heist movie with a non-Thanos level threat. But, that movie was clever enough to make me care about a heist movie which, admittedly, is not one of my favorite genres. Shazam! is the movie "Big" with superpowers. Again, not a bad thing. But, not something that's going to be remembered 20 minutes after you've seen it. For the non-superhero folks reading, foster teenager, Billy Batson, is selected by an aging, powerful wizard to be the recipient of his immense power. When Billy says the wizard's name, he's transformed into an adult, Superman-level powered being. But, gaining super powers has a price. And that price is in the form of Dr. Sivana, a man obsessed with taking the power for himself at the behest of the demon-like beings powering him, the 7 Deadly Sins. The movie made me genuinely laugh a few times. Mark Strong provides a good menacing performance as Dr. Sivana. However, try as I might, I couldn't wrap my head around that silly looking muscle suit the hero wore. It's just bad. And the 7 Deadly Sins looked like something out of a campy Clash of the Titans rendition. Conclusion. Entertaining movie. Not a memorable one. Zachary Levi and Asher Angel star as the adult and teenage versions on the hero respectively.
***1/4 stars
A Vigilante- Olivia Wilde stars as a battered woman who escapes her abusive husband to become a brutal defender of other abuse victims she meets in a support group. Directed by Sarah Daggar-Nickson, A Vigilante is a hardhitting visceral thriller that focuses on the main characters pain and rage to a point of being visually uncomfortable at times. However, there are times that it feels like the film is a mere string of violent scenes put together without much heart or thought. Wilde's character is a bludgeon of mean justice, but, she's just a little too cold to feel anything for. Maybe that was the point. But, it just felt a little off putting to me. Maybe that was the point, too.
*** stars
The Lion King- How you feel about this film might depend on how you feel about Disney's latest penchant to remake their classic animated features as live action movies. I've already heard the stories from more than one source that this remake is a soulless cash grab. Is it a cash grab? Of course it is. Re-introducing one of the most famous animated features of all time is going to get plenty of attention. Soulless? That's a little difficult to quantify. Yes, Jon Favreau's latest feature is almost a frame-by-frame remake of the animated 90s movie. But, that doesn't mean it isn't enjoyable. In fact, it's very enjoyable. It elicited many of the same emotions in me as the original. If you loved the original, there's nothing you should hate about this one. You know the story so there's no point rehashing the plot. The CGI is spectacular. The animals appear realistic (although there are a few slight issues with the mouths moving in conjunction with the dialogue). Most of the voice characterizations are more than adequate. My only real complaint is Chiwetel Eijofor's Scar. Eijofor did his best, but, he just wasn't the menacing figure Jeremy Irons was. And let's not pretend. You're going to make the comparison. My other complaint is both shocking and just a little disappointing. It's with James Earl Jones' rendition of Mufasa this time around. I felt that he didn't have the commanding presence he did in the original. It seemed he was just mouthing the words without conveying the emotion. This wasn't a shining moment for him. But, overall, outside of these snafus, there's nothing wrong with this film. At least not to the degree that's being expressed by many. Beyoncé Knowles-Carter, Alfre Woodard, Seth Rogan, John Oliver, Keegan Michael Key, Donald Glover, and Billy Eichner also provide their voice talents.
***3/4 stars
Piercing- This had so much dark potential. A family man with homicidal impulses plans a business trip concocting a plan to exercise his murderous tendencies. Intending to brutally murder an ordered call girl, the plan goes awry when she turns out to be just as mentally twisted as he is. This could have been played two ways. One, it could have been made into a deeply terrifying night between two psychotic individuals. Two, it could have delved into the realm of dark one-upsman-ship comedy. Sadly, director Nicholas Pesce plays with both concepts and doesn't go far enough with either. The film sinks into a BDSM fever dream where you're not always sure if what either character is experiencing is real. Like I said. So much dark potential unrealized. This could have been a nice little subversive classic in more expert hands. And the abrupt nonsensical ending takes the film down even more. Christopher Abbott and Mia Wasikowska star.
**1/2 stars
St. Agatha- Now here's a sick little number. In 1950s Georgia, a pregnant young woman with a sketchy past is taken in by an obscure convent deeply seated in a secluded wooded area. As the young mother-to-be discovers, the nuns who run the facility are anything but saintly as torture and humiliation are the norms. This is far from a perfect movie. The film has too many flashback sequences depicting how the young woman, Mary, came to be at the convent. They're stories of a hard life to be sure, but, they're ultimately meaningless to the plot. But, once the film finally ramps up, you're taken on a twisted little ride of sheer cruelty. Carolyn Hennesy gives a nice performance as the greedy and sadistic Mother Superior. But, again, the film takes a bit before it smacks you in the face.
***1/4 stars
Hellboy- Let's just say it plain and simple. Reboots are hard to get right. Usually, at best, you can only hope for mixed reviews. Especially if the previous material was loved by the masses. So, director Neil Marshall did not have an enviable task attempting to reimagine the comic world's famous half demon paranormal investigator from creator Mike Mignola. Particularly, when the property was, by most accounts, already successfully adapted to the big screen by director Guillermo Del Toro and actor Ron Perlman. But, try he did. And, the results are predictably mixed. In this edition, Hellboy and the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense are on the trail of powerful and newly reconstructed Dark Age witch, Nimue, who was defeated and dismembered by the legendary King Arthur. Not only does Hellboy have to contain the witch (which he has mixed feelings about), but, he also has to fight a dark prophecy involving himself. Much like the first two films, much of the action is meant to amuse. However, with the R rating, the graphic violence is amped up considerably. So, be prepared for a few gross and bloody deaths. While, I thought this edition to the series was enjoyable enough, the biggest issue I had with it was with the recasting of Hellboy himself. It's reported that Ron Perlman did not want to return to the series if Del Toro wasn't involved. And the movie suffered for it. David Harbour did his best, but, he's not Perlman. Perlman had a panache and sardonic wit in the role that Harbour just couldn't match. He came across as more of a goofball than the slickly cool badass Perlman gave us. This Hellboy is watchable, but, it doesn't quite have the soul you're accustomed to. Ian McShane, Daniel Dae Kim, and Milla Jovovich co-star.
*** stars
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood- I love Quentin Tarantino as a director. His films are wild, subversively funny, and unapologetically violent. Several of his efforts are among my favorites of all time including his last film, The Hateful Eight. However, for the director's 9th and current film, I had some unusual trepidation about it. From the very first trailer I saw, I have to say I wasn't moved in any way by what I saw. I couldn't discern what the story was about and it just didn't appear to have that raw Tarantino flair we've all become accustomed to. But, it's a trailer, right? Yes, trailers are meant to whet your appetite for a movie, but, sometimes they just don't do their films justice. For me, the first Guardians of the Galaxy was the perfect example of this. The overall film was hundreds of times better than the trailers that were cut up. So, there's nothing to worry about. It's Tarantino. He's not capable of making a bad movie (we'll excuse Death Proof). As I sat through this two hour and forty-one minute marathon, at various times I said to myself, "It's going to take off...now!" Okay. Now! Hmmm...maybe now! What gives? It has to be...now! Sadly, and I say this with heavy heart, this didn't happen until the final 15 minutes. In fact, I'm not even sure what Tarantino's endgame was with this. We follow an aging TV hero from the 1950s whose star has begun to fade in the next decade. By his side is his always reliable, if somewhat morally flexible, stuntman, gopher, and friend who isn't faring much better in Tinseltown. The film is pretty much a six month or so day in the life kind of narrative of these two characters with the ominous backdrop of the Manson family poising to make their infamous assault on the Roman Polanski residence (who the main character happens to be a neighbor of). Now, there are traces of Tarantino's signature sardonic humor sprinkled here and there. But, one thing that disappointed me is the humor was rarely from characters actually having thoughtful, if ridiculous, conversations with each other which is a staple of the director's films. Seriously, who doesn't remember the "Like a Virgin" conversation from Reservoir Dogs or just about any interaction between any number of characters in Pulp Fiction? The movie just plods along for over two and half hours until you can finally point and say, now THAT'S Tarantino! And if you're a fan of some of the director's revisionist history on real life events, you'll be in for a treat at the end of this one. The stylized over-the-top violence you've come to expect from him is not present until the very end. Oh, this hurts me so much to say this, but, Once Upon a Time is kind of a dud. The performances from the two (or I guess you could say three) main characters are good. They did the best with what they had. But, Tarantino really needed an editor to have the courage to say to him, "Listen, you've spent over two and half hours saying absolutely nothing." This only gets as high of a grade from me due to the inspired lunacy of the final 15-20 minutes. Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, and Margot Robbie star.
**3/4 stars
Long Shot- This is a rom-com that relies on overused tropes, but, manages to be a little unique at the same time. Well, unique to me at least. It's the story of a glamourous, sophisticated Secretary of State and an idealistic schlub journalist who shockingly find love after she hires him to assist her speechwriting team. It turns out Madame Secretary is a little more wild and crazy than anyone could have possibly guessed. The journalist? Well, he mostly is what you would have guessed. Smart, uncompromising, and prone to find himself in the most ludicrous situations. He's been infatuated with her since the two were teenagers. She finds his awkwardness charming. Pretty standard. But, also very funny very often. The two leads have surprising and amazing chemistry. That's a prerequisite for rom-coms to work. And, this one did for me even though I'm not the biggest fan of the genre. It's genuinely funny and sweet without being syrupy. And, the fact that the story takes place against the backdrop of high stakes politics, makes it a little different than your usual rom-com fare. Now, I give you a warning as well. It does represent a fair deal of ideology on one end of the political seesaw, complete with a less than flattering send up of a certain right wing news organization. So, if this offends you, you won't enjoy this film. I, for one, enjoyed it immensely. Charlize Theron, Seth Rogan, and O'Shea Jackson Jr. star.
***3/4 stars
Alita: Battle Angel- This one had all the makings of an instant blockbuster. A cyberpunk science-fiction action film based on a popular Japanese manga series directed by Robert Rodriguez and produced by James Cameron? Cha-ching! Hold the audiences back, these box office receipts were going to be legendary. Except...they weren't. And, there's a reason for that. Alita is the story of a disembodied female cyborg found on a scrap heap by a renowned cyber scientist after "The Fall", a great war that devastated Earth 300 years prior. Named "Alita" by the scientist after his deceased daughter, she's given a new cyborg body. Initially having no memory of her past life, she's repeatedly thrust in situations where flashes of that previous life come forward along with a multitude of deadly combat skills. Alita is a visually engrossing film. The combat sequences are exciting and well choreographed. Rosa Salazar's performance as Alita was good. But, the story itself I just couldn't get excited about. My attention waned when she wasn't playing Motorball or tearing through other cyborgs. Her romance didn't really interest me. The subplots of her scientist savior and his estranged ex-wife didn't move me. In other words, outside of the action, I wasn't crazy about this. There was a big movement by some to pit Alita as the "anti-Captain Marvel" this year and to support this movie over the Marvel Studios film. I won't get into the various reasons for that. I'd run on for several paragraphs. Alita was no better or worse than CM in my opinion. It's a movie that's fun to watch at times, but, very much feels unfinished. It feels like there might be more meat on this bone if there's a sequel. But, very much like Captain Marvel, this is a one and done for me. Christoph Waltz, Jennifer Connelly, and Mahershala Ali co-star.
***1/4 stars
The Curse of La Llorona- The next chapter in the Conjuring Universe brings to life a legendary ghost story from Mexico. La Llorona is an evil spirit who is forever cursed to slaughter children due to an unspeakable act she committed in life. After a brief interlude in 1673 introducing the legend, we're taken to 1973 Los Angeles where the spirit has set her sights on the children of a widowed caseworker. How many times must I say this? Creepy imagery alone does not make a good horror movie. And this one is about as blah as it can be. It's not remotely scary or unsettling. It makes head scratching leaps in logic. Honestly, as the riddle of La Llorona is being solved, there doesn't appear to be any coherent plan. Everything feels as if the characters are making the resolution up as the film goes along. In fact, it's never a good thing when a horror movie is so illogical you find yourself laughing more than cringing. This one was a miss. The Conjuring Universe has given us much better. Linda Cardellini stars.
**1/2 stars
The Kitchen- This isn't your typical comic book movie. Based on a miniseries from the DC Vertigo line, the film follows three wives of Irish mobsters who take over their husbands' criminal enterprises in 1978 Hell's Kitchen when the patriarchs are apprehended by the FBI. In Andrea Berloff's directorial debut, she delivers a hardhitting crime thriller as these women evolve from frightened spouses taken advantage of initially by the acting leaders of the mob to fearsome power brokers who demand respect. The film has your sudden out-of-nowhere mob violence and betrayals you have come to expect from the gangster genre. It also has excellent pacing as the audience follows these women on both their individual journeys and their evolution as a triad of competent and resourceful leaders. I've never read the comic series so, I have no way to compare the film's accuracy to the source material. But, I enjoyed this movie immensely. And, there's a bonus. Tiffany Haddish get on my nerves. Melissa McCarthy and Elisabeth Moss co-star.
**** stars
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark- Based on a children's book series, this is a creepy little tale of false accusations coupled with unbridled revenge. In 1968 Pennsylvania, four teenagers discover a book belonging to Sarah Bellows, a young girl from a mysterious family who died by her own hand. Strangely, this book writes its own macabre stories which end badly for any who cross its path. For horror fans who love gore, this film might not be for you. It has a PG-13 rating so it has very little blood. But, that doesn't mean Guillermo del Toro (producer) and Andre Ovredal (director) don't manage a few scenes that are high on the creep factor. As someone who has never read Alvin Schwartz's book series, I can't speak as to how accurately this movie has been adapted. But, this is a creative plunge into the supernatural even if it doesn't exactly chill you to the bone.
***1/2 stars
Good Boys- Depending on how this went, the film could have been titled "Not Another Raunchy Teen Comedy." In this case, it would have been preteen, but, that's beside the point. It's yet another in a long line of comedies where kids behave badly. But, Gene Stupnitsky has directed a coming-of-age movie that has a surprising amount of heart and life lessons. And, yes, a good deal of adolescent sexual humor. The director has an affinity for sex toys if that gives you a clue as to what you're getting yourself into. Three sixth graders embark on a ludicrous journey to obtain a replacement drone that was accidentally destroyed all while carrying stolen drugs, being hunted by teenage girls, and trying to avoid being grounded before a big party. The laughs are steady. There are a few big ones, especially one involving a paint ball gun. But, is it a comedy classic? Not quite in my eyes. It's a comedy that's funny in the moment, but, you probably won't remember much of it in a week's time.
***1/2 stars
Batman: Hush- Once again, what Warner Brothers may be lacking in their feature films (which admittedly have been better of late) on their DC properties, they more than make up for with their animated features. Adapting the mega-popular 2002-03 comic book storyline from Jeph Loeb and Jim Lee, an enigmatic new villain comes on the scene in Gotham City, a villain who seems to know quite a bit about the Dark Knight, his enemies, and his allies. Calling himself "Hush" and hiding his identity under facial bandages, the new player manipulates events and a wide array of characters from Batman's extensive Rogues Gallery in an attempt to bring his nemesis to his knees. Sticklers for comic accuracy be prepared. There are parts of the film adaptation that don't completely jibe with the comic story. For one, Hush is a continuation of the animated universe Warner and DC have set up, so there is a reference to the recent "Reign of the Supermen" animated film from just a few months ago. But, the basic structure of the Hush storyline are there including a passionate romance between Batman and Catwoman. This isn't what I'd call a kids' movie. There is a fair amount of swearing and a couple of sexually suggestive scenes. It's a movie you might not want to show your eight-year-old, but, your teenager can have at it. It's dark. It's briskly paced. It gives you some snarky comedy. The animation is fairly good following in the tradition of most other DC animated features. This was a good time. Jason O'Mara, Jennifer Morrison, Jerry O'Connell, Rebecca Romijn, Rainn Wilson, and Vanessa Williams among several others provide the voice talent.
**** stars
Ready or Not- This is a goofy black comedy horror film that delivers on so many levels. And you know why? It wraps its arms around its sheer lunacy and holds tight. An obscenely wealthy family has an odd tradition. Men and women who attempt to marry into it must play a game. A game that is chosen from a mysterious box that was given by a mysterious benefactor decades prior. It could be any game. But, to the chagrin of new blushing bride, Grace, it's hide and seek. She hides in the vast family mansion while the family seeks. With an arsenal. The goal? Survive until dawn. Tyler Gillett's and Matt Bettinelli-Opin's film takes several dark turns, but, always maintains the undertone of silliness that defines it. In other words, it's fun despite the murderous bent. And, at a little over 90 minutes, it doesn't overstay its welcome. This is the way you make dark comedy. It's hard to express how much fun I had sitting through this one. And can Samara Weaving look more like Margot Robbie if she tried? Just asking. Henry Czerny, Andie MacDowell, and Adam Brody co-star.
**** stars
The Hustle- This one was probably doomed with critics and the public since its conception. It's a remake of a comedy classic. Well, classic might be stretching it, but, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels is a film loved by many. And, in the current Hollywood fashion, it's a remake devoid of any originality outside of swapping the main characters in the original who were male for female counterparts. I was prepared to hate this movie. And, as I was watching it, it was painfully obvious that it's almost a shot for shot retelling of the original. However, despite my deepest cynicism, this film grew on me. It made me smile. It made me chuckle. It made me laugh. The leads shouldn't have been a good blend, but, they were. They had chemistry. Don't misunderstand. It's not the same as Steve Martin and Michael Cain. But, it was fairly solid. Both actresses did a fine job. For those not familiar with the plot of the original, two con artists, one high class and the other clever, but, crude, compete to swindle a wealthy naïve mark in an affluent French province. The Hustle tweaks the story of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels here and there, but, if you've seen the original, you'll call out every scene before it happens. But, it didn't really matter for me. I had fun with this one. And I was utterly shocked that I did. Anne Hathaway and Rebel Wilson star as the devious conwomen.
***1/4 stars
Godzilla: King of the Monsters- Warner Brothers' Monster/Kaiju Universe has been more than a mixed bag for me, but, less than epic. While I enjoyed Kong: Skull Island a great deal, I was less enthusiastic about 2014's Godzilla. It was adequate, but, had far too much human drama to monster smackdown for my liking. And even the hint that this sequel was more of the same kept me away from the theaters. This one has some corny family drama at times. And, there's the revelation that the monsters (titans) actually good for the environment and they are the solution to the rampant destruction that's caused by humans. Even if the titans cause plenty of rampant destruction themselves when they clash with each other. Okay. However, what differentiates King of the Monsters from its 2014 predecessor is there are plenty of tricked out battle sequences among the titans that are wonderfully shot by director Michael Dougherty. Any fan of classic Godzilla lore will be giddy because Dougherty and company has put the band back to together with all your old favorites like Rodan, Mothra, and Ghidorah. A scientist from the Titan-studying organization, Monarch, and her daughter are captured by an ecoterrorist group in order to make use of the scientist's "Orca" device, a machine that emits frequencies that can calm or alter Titan behavior. Their goal is to use the device to awaken Ghidorah, the three-headed Titan more powerful than the rest. All save maybe one. Spectacular battle sequences define this film which is exactly where the focus should be. And the humans don't get in the way of the action terribly. KOTM is a very good appetizer to the Godzilla vs Kong main event that's coming in 2020. And the final scene of KOTM? Instant classic. Vera Farmiga, Millie Bobby Brown, Kyle Chandler, and Ken Watanabe star.
***1/2 stars
Men in Black International- Speaking as someone who has never been a huge fan of this series, let me get right to it. This entry is the most bland, lackluster piece of nothing in the bunch. With an uninspired story and actors going through the motions, how could all involved expect any type of audience engagement? The cast and director F. Gary Gray take an "L" for this. Attempting to recapture the magic of the blockbuster, Thor: Ragnarok (DON'T get me started on that), Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson are reunited not as Asgardians this time, but, as agents of Earth's clandestine alien policing organization. Taking place in MiB's London chapter, our dynamic duo is on the trail of mysterious alien energy twins whose motivations are unknown. But, death and destruction follow in their wake. The action is adequate, but, standard. The comedy is mildly amusing at times, but, mostly lame. Hemsworth, who does have comic talent, is mostly buffoonish (not in a funny way). Thompson is the straight man of the duo who is good at almost everything from the start even though she's a probationary agent without training (sound familiar Star Wars fans?). Nothing about this film got off the ground for me. I've seen worse. But, I've seen so much better even from this series. Unless you're the staunchest of MiB fans, this is one you can skip. Emma Thompson and Liam Neeson co-star.
**1/2 stars
It: Chapter Two- Andy Muschietti's 2017 remake of the Stephen King classic was nothing short of a triumph. Critically acclaimed and monstrously successful financially, Pennywise the Clown was back on the horror landscape in a huge way. But, 2017's film only told half the story of King's bible-sized epic. The vast majority of horror fans were chomping at the bit for the completion of the story when it was announced. So, now, in 2019, we get the fulfillment of our wishes. We know the story already. "The Losers Club" as adults returns to Derry, Maine, 27 years later to put an end to Pennywise, the demon/alien clown that has terrorized the sleepy town for decades. It'll be totally worth it, right? Weeeelllll...it's in the eye of the beholder, I suppose. Where do I start? We'll start with the positives. The casting was a strength. The adult versions of the Losers were perfectly chosen (mostly). You should pay particular attention to Bill Hader. The hype he has received as the adult, Richie, is well deserved. James McAvoy is his usual stellar self. Jessica Chastain, Isaiah Mustafa, Jay Ryan, and James Ransone hold up their end as well. Bill Skarsgard steals his scenes as the demonically playful Pennywise just as he did in Chapter One. So, with a great cast and talented director, what could possibly go wrong? A few things actually. For one, the pacing leaves something to be desired. Clocking in at two hours and 49 minutes, the film overstays its welcome by at least 30 minutes. A movie audience is not the same as a book audience. Books have the luxury of endless exposition. Movies do not. While I wasn't bored by Chapter Two, there were a few instances when I still wanted to scream "Get to the point!" I understand each of the Losers have their private journeys, but, some of this stuff needed to be on the cutting room floor. We don't need every last detail from the final 300+ pages of the novel. Number two, in this modern age of cinema, there's again absolutely no excuse for poor CGI. Some of the images in this film are laughably adolescent. These things would only be frightening to a preteen, not adults. There are plenty of jump scares, but, when the bulk of them are scary images moving side to side rapidly, it's more comical than anything else. And this is really disappointing because there are some truly disturbing scenes of Pennywise gruesomely devouring children that are frightening. Number three, the film begins to make some inroads as to who and what Pennywise actually is, but, then that story goes nowhere. So, my question is, why start the process if you won't follow through? And his effect on the Losers was never clear to me. All but one have severe gaps in their memories. Is it PTSD from the trauma they endured when they were children? Or, is Pennywise screwing with their heads? At various times in the film, you could go with either explanation. But, it also begs the question, is Pennywise seeking revenge for his earlier defeat or is he genuinely afraid of the Losers themselves? Again, it's not clear. If he's seeking revenge, why is he screwing around with their memories? Why do they forget more of their past the longer they are away from Derry? Because when they come back, he certainly isn't shy about coming after them. Number four, we come to an item that struck a very wrong chord with me. That would be the love triangle between Bill, Beverly, and Ben. For those who saw Chapter One, remember the dynamic. Ben had a monster crush on Beverly when the Losers were children. But, she had eyes for Bill and the feeling was mutual. Remember the kiss Bill and Beverly shared at the end of Chapter One before she left town. Now, 27 years later, they're both unhappily married to other people and still very into each other when they're thrown together again. Until a secret from Chapter One is revealed and, then, abruptly they're not. And now she's in love with Ben. And, as odd as this sudden shift in emotions is, it's made to feel very vapid as Ben is physically nothing similar to what he was as a preteen. He was a pudgy child who grows into a man with model looks and a six pack. Someone appearance-wise who looks like he fits with Beverly now. I'm sure no one involved was thinking along these lines as the story unfolded, but, seriously, I got the feeling that now it was okay to throw Ben and Beverly together because he became a hottie. It was odd. Finally, the big showdown between the adult Losers and Pennywise is loaded with more mediocre CGI and a resolution that has you scratching your head as to "how did you possibly come to that conclusion while this murderous clown is trying to skewer you?" But, like so much of the film, you're just made to kind of go along with it to get through it. It: Chapter Two is not the movie Chapter One was in my opinion. It's saved by the sheer strength of its cast. Clearly the sum of the parts is greater than the whole. This is a film you should see if you need to know how this all ends. But, it's sadly not one you have to make a beeline for.
***1/4 stars
Booksmart- This teen comedy from director Olivia Wilde follows two academic overachievers realize they have sacrificed four years of having fun for high grades when they discover their "slacker" schoolmates have been accepted to prestigious colleges without the seeming hard work they have put in. So, on the eve of their high school graduation, the two friends are determined to have the blowout of their lives and spend the evening trying to find the big graduation party they weren't invited to. It's a night of crazy antics, Uber-driving principals, promiscuous teachers, and awkward first time sex among other things. There's really not much that's special about Booksmart except the protagonists are female as opposed to the usual males who populate films of this nature. It's amusing if not laugh-out-loud funny through much of its runtime. The movie does an adequate job of exploring the bonds of friendship and makes solid statements about not judging a book by its cover. But, with the exception of Billie Lourd's unhinged drug-crazed party girl, there aren't any eye popping performances here. Kaitlyn Dever, Beanie Feldstein, Jason Sudeikis, and Lisa Kudrow star.
*** stars
The Dead Don't Die- In yet another attempt to capitalize on zombie horror comedy, director Jim Jarmusch throws everything that a frazzled mind can comprehend at the screen. You would think the chaotic nature of such a ploy would be a narrative mess. However, The Dead Don't Die works in its strange haphazard way. And I think that is due to the commitment to the film's sheer wackiness by the cast. Bill Murray and Adam Driver's deadpan reactions to the lunacy is a fabulous counterpoint throughout. And, of course, you have the pre-requisite town crazies who paint the rest of the small town landscape. Do you want zombies? Check. UFOs? Check. A weird katana-wielding Scotswoman? Check. Yes, you read that last one correctly. The plot? Nothing you probably haven't already deduced. Strange occurrences such as animals acting strangely and strange daylight hours in the small town of Centerville precede the rising of the undead. It's up to the town's three police officers to quell the disturbance before everyone is eaten. Some unusual fourth wall breaking is thrown in for good measure. The premise of why these events are occurring is somewhat politically charged, so that may rub some people's sensibilities in the wrong way. As far as other zombie comedies are concerned, you're better served by films like Shaun of the Dead or Zombieland. But, this one isn't without its charms. Chloe Sevigny, Tilda Swinton, Selena Gomez, Steve Buscemi, and Danny Glover co-star.
***1/4 stars
Rocketman- This was an unusual biopic to say the least. To say this story of the legendary Elton John is told in a surreal manner is an understatement. Part musical, the musician's tale chronicles his life through his difficult childhood, to his rise to fame and fortune, to his substance abuse, to his rehabilitation. There isn't much more to say about Rocketman outside of the phenomenal music. That is if you're a fan of Elton John. Well, there is one more thing to be said. Taron Edgerton's performance as the charismatic singer is unquestionably one of the best of the year. His singing ability is at times, better than Elton John's himself in my opinion. Jamie Bell and Bryce Dallas Howard co-star.
***1/2 stars
Hustlers- Finally! Jennifer Lopez has made a relevant movie. Amidst the myriad of smarmy rom-coms and tepid thrillers in her resume, this one has some substance and bite. Based on a 2015 article in New York magazine, the film recounts how a group of industrious strippers fleece a host of well-to-do clients, including powerful Wall Street moguls, to enrich themselves beyond their wildest dreams. They're very good at what they do until greed threatens to derail their best laid plans. Hustlers doesn't shy away from having the glitz, glamour, and general seediness performers encounter in the profession. It truly is a meat market that can be devoid of human dignity between performer and client. But, the film also explores the depths of friendship and respect that can develop between people who relate to the unique circumstances they find themselves in. It's a movie that has heart underneath the dirty underbelly. And, Lopez gives her best performance in my recollection as the ringleader of the crew. She drives the movie. Constance Wu, Keke Palmer, Mercedes Ruehl, Julia Stiles, and Cardi B co-star.
**** stars
Aladdin- One of Disney's latest cartoon-to-live-action excursions, Aladdin isn't so much bad as it is unnecessary. There's no point in providing a story synopsis because if you don't know it by now, oh well. I wouldn't say it's a complete frame-by-frame remake of the classic animated feature, but, it's close. There are renditions of some of classic songs and a few new ones. In fact, I thing the film broke into song a little too much at times. Disney tried to put a slightly funky tone on this. If you were looking for a movie with a rapping genie, you've found your Nirvana. The special effects are hit and miss. It's a weird dynamic. When Genie's power is on display, the CGI is spectacular. However, the Genie's appearance was a bit strange at times. As for the Genie himself, I tried to be fair to Will Smith here. Mostly, he was fine in the role. I credit him for trying to make the character his own with his brand of wackiness. But, let's be honest. I did it. You'll do it. You will compare. There is no substitute for Robin Williams in this role. This is a character akin to Eddie Murphy's Donkey in Shrek or Heath Ledger's Joker in The Dark Knight. It's a role that might be often imitated, but, never duplicated. Last, I want to commend one and condemn one performance in the film. I give much praise to Naomi Scott's performance as Jasmine. She had a presence in every scene she was part of. And, she has a great singing voice to boot. But, just as good as she was in her role, Aladdin suffers from one glaring weakness. Weakness. Yes, that's exactly what Marwan Kanzari's performance as Jafar was. Weak. Nothing about him was believable. He elicited no type of fear or foreboding. No menace whatsoever. In my review of the live action Lion King, I stated that Chiwetel Ejiofor was no Jeremy Irons, but, he at least invoked a sense of malice. Every scene with Jafar brought the film down. Aladdin is a fun, enjoyable movie overall, but, it definitely is not equal to its animated predecessor. Mena Massoud stars as Aladdin.
*** stars
X-Men: Dark Phoenix- Here we are at Fox's last X-Men film before the mutant super team's inevitable inclusion in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. While this may be Fox's last hurrah with the X-Men, it's their second attempt at telling the famous Dark Phoenix storyline from the comics. The first attempt was a miss by most accounts with 2006's The Last Stand. So, surely, director Simon Kinberg and all parties involved would get it right now. Unfortunately, we still don't have a proper Dark Phoenix adaptation. Kinberg and company do get a bit closer in some aspects than The Last Stand did. But, the film is bogged down with a subplot of an alien race that wants the cosmic Phoenix Force for their own purposes. And this wouldn't have necessarily been a bad thing had the aliens been a little more than cardboard cutouts of standard evildoers. Sophie Turner does her best as Jean Grey trying to keep this story together and does a fairly commendable job. Michael Fassbender is solid again as Magneto, as is James McAvoy as Charles Xavier. I felt Jennifer Lawrence looked as if she wanted to be anywhere else but on set. The others? Standard Fox X-Men characterization. That is, there isn't much outside of Magneto, Xavier, and Jean. Dark Phoenix isn't so much of a bad film as it is a bland one. It's adequate is probably the best compliment you can give it. There is one dynamic action sequence on a train in the film's final 10-15 minutes where it's mutant vs. alien and each mutant gets a nice spotlight placed on him/her to display their abilities. But, by this time, it's too little, too late. Watching this is the equivalent of eating a plain slice of bread. It satisfies your hunger for a short time, but, you really would have rather had peanut butter spread on it. In a nutshell, the X-Man, Jean Grey, is possessed by the cosmic energy known as the Phoenix Force on a mission in space. It not only makes Jean infinitely more powerful than she already was, but, it also removes longtime psychic barriers placed in her brain by Xavier years ago to block certain traumatic events in her life. As the Phoenix slowly takes control, Jean becomes more unstable posing a threat to all. I'm not sure why this was released. It's not the worst X-Men movie. But, this was doomed for failure from the start. It was doomed from the minute Disney bought Fox. Everyone's waiting for mutants to invade the MCU. Dark Phoenix is a bland movie that never had a chance. Tye Sheridan, Alexandra Shipp, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Evan Peters, Nicholas Hoult, and Jessica Chastain co-star.
**3/4 stars
Rambo: Last Blood- I, for one, have never been a huge fan of the Rambo series outside of First Blood. FB was an actioner with a story behind the violence. The other Rambo films (granted I haven't seen 2008's Rambo) were gross 80s money grabs that were much more style over substance. But, there was something in the trailers for this fifth and supposedly final movie in the action series that caught my eye. Seeing our hero looking older and a little worse for wear, I got visions of Logan. Could this be John Rambo's swan song, as in, death finally claims him? The plot of Last Blood is relatively simple. Eleven years after the events of the 2008 film, Rambo has retired to an inherited horse ranch in Arizona which he manages with an old friend and her granddaughter who he has come to care for as if she were his own flesh and blood. When the young woman runs afoul of a Mexican cartel, those old killer instincts in John kick into overdrive again. The joy of a movie like this isn't so much in the story as it is in the fierceness of the brutality. And this one is down, dirty, and vicious. In fact, a couple of the kills will make you wince. Of course some of the killing is only possible by the bad guys making some of the worst tactical decisions in the history of combat. But, this is one time where style trumps substance. Rambo: Last Blood is simply a noteworthy revenge flick. Nothing more. Nothing less. And, at a little less than 90 minutes, it gets in and tells its story efficiently. There's no need to drag this on, and thankfully, director, Adrian Grunberg, does not. My biggest complaint is the finality of LB isn't what I was hoping it to be. Without giving too much away, revisit my earlier statements in this review and you'll get the hint. Sylvester Stallone returns as our favorite PTSD-affected war veteran.
***1/2 stars
Child's Play- I think it's safe to say that your feelings on this reimagining of the killer doll franchise will be influenced by the era you grew up in. While Child's Play was always a rather goofy concept (serial killer's spirit trapped inside a toy), the original still had a sinister underbelly. If you grew up with 80s Chucky, the 2019 version is just...goofy. Though it's not without its merits. Hearing Mark Hamill's Chucky voice characterization is a treat in and of itself. And, on a completely juvenile level you get to hear him say things like "dick cheese." But, this version of Chucky, an artificial intelligence chip gone bonkers, just didn't hit with the same type of impact for me. Granted it's a topical conversation for the modern age, but, it didn't have the same terrifying, if silly, quality about it. And, I would say it's almost as much of a comedy as it is a horror film. Let me also say, any parent that would give their child this new version's weirdly hideous doll in the first place should be investigated by child services. I won't go into much of a synopsis. You already know the story. A mother "obtains" the hottest new toy on the market for her son, a "Buddy" doll (changed from Good Guy in the original). However, this particular doll has a corrupted A.I. chip that causes the doll to learn more than pithy little jingles. This doll has a very distinct murder instinct that activates anything it perceives as a threat to his "pal", Andy. Fun stuff at times, but, not enough good times to recommend.
**3/4 stars
Shaft- This sequel (or sorts) to the 2000 Samuel L. Jackson vehicle changes the primary protagonist to John Shaft's now adult son, J.J. (John Jr). Mostly played for laughs, this film follows the adventures of father, son, and, eventually, grandfather attempting to solve the murder of J.J.'s friend in the bombastic, street tough family manner. Now, I did find parts of this amusing. Many of the attempts at humor angered me. J.J. is overplayed as a nerdy, unworldly FBI data analyst in the first half of the movie. But, that's not what did it for me. What touched something in me was the part of Tim Story's script that tried to drive home that J.J. somehow wasn't "black" enough by some arbitrary standard. It wasn't funny. All it did was push a stereotype of what "blackness" should be. And, it doesn't matter that J.J. does prove his worth midway through to the end. The fact that it was more the racial aspect of the fish-out-of-water narrative that was played up instead of J.J. not being as street smart as he needed to be outside the office was offensive to me. Outside of this, the movie does provide some good action sequences and a few biting one liners that are not bogged down by racial connotations. Shaft has some entertainment value, but, it's one you can skip as well. Samuel L. Jackson, Richard Roundtree, Jessie T. Usher, Method Man, and Regina Hall star.
**3/4 stars
Midsommar- Well this was 2 1/2 hours of "What the Hell?" Midsommar was written and directed by Ari Aster, the perpetrator of 2018's almost equally mystifying horror movie, Hereditary. You have to give Aster this. He has a unique style and approach to the horror genre. I applaud him for being a different type of horror auteur. My main issue with Aster is he's the equivalent of an author/writer who is extremely wordy. His concepts can be fascinating, but, he doesn't need to take two plus hours to slow burn his point. And Midsommar is the slowest of burns. Even more so than Hereditary was. The other thing about Aster's films is his themes are bone chilling. But, the narrative isn't overtly scary. The murderous mayhem in his films are reserved to a few kills that are more gross and sudden than they are terrifying. And, he seems to have an obsession with cults. Midsommar is the story of an emotionally disturbed college student and her boyfriend taking a trip to Sweden to observe and participate in a traditional festival at the invitation of one of their friends who is a member of the commune organizing the event. Once there, strange occurrences abound brought on by several hallucinogens provided by the commune. The couple and their friends who make the journey with them become entangled in the most bizarre mix of violent tradition and psychotic empathy the mind can conceive. It's a crazy mix that none of them may survive. If you're someone who enjoys a little artistic value to your horror, Midsommar is the way to go. But, I must reiterate. I can admire the artistry of Aster's work, but, the execution leaves something to be desired.
**3/4 stars
Annabelle Comes Home- Gary Dauberman's foray into the psycho doll sub-franchise is the third Annabelle installment which, in turn, is the seventh installment of the greater Conjuring Universe. Our horrific tale follows the narrative of how the evil doll came into the possession and came to be housed in the home of the Warrens, this universe's demonologist protagonists (for at least half the installments). On a rare night out for the couple, calamity strikes their home as their daughter, babysitter, and babysitter's friend are terrorized when Annabelle is mistakenly freed from her glass case prison in the family's artifacts room. For my tastes, the Conjuring Universe has been a bit overrated from the beginning. That's not to say it's been awful. Some installments have been very good. However, most have been average at best in my opinion. Annabelle Comes Home falls into the average column. Very average. It's never a good thing when even the jump scares in a horror movie don't make you so much as blink. The second half of the film consists of three underage girls running around a haunted house screaming. And, even the story of Annabelle appears to be retconned. So, she's not a possessed doll. She's a conduit for evil spirits to possess people? If that's the case, why can't you just destroy the doll? It's a question the movie brings up, but, doesn't adequately answer outside of "Just 'cuz." And, why wouldn't evil spirits be smarter than to use an ugly doll as a conduit? Why not a piece of jewelry or attractive clothing that most people would want? Why not a dog, cat, hamster, or iguana that would be more mobile? You don't know? Neither do I. What I do know is this film is the most meh a horror movie can be. Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, and McKenna Grace star.
**1/2 stars
3 From Hell- Rob Zombie's latest is the third installment of his "Firefly" series of films following House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects. And, in typical Zombie fashion, it's a mix of hillbilly mayhem and disgustingly violent bloody murder. Zombie has a style no doubt. But, there's no hook to his movies for me. They're not funny. They're not clever. They're not creative. They're not self-deprecating enough to give a wink and nod to how silly they are. They're kind of just stabby and psychotic. After the events of The Devil's Rejects, Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig), Otis Driftwood (Bill Moseley), and Baby (Sheri Moon Zombie) spend 10 years in prison recovering from their almost fatal injuries and awaiting their sentenced executions. Well, I don't think it's giving much away to say 2/3 of this group of crazies are able to escape their situations through violent manipulation and murder. And, they're joined by a third psychotic relative to boot. The film shines (or as much as something like this can) when the Firefly clan gleefully eviscerates everyone in their path. However, the story is nothing but mindless debauchery when the blood isn't flowing. In other words, it's typical Rob Zombie with only slightly better mediocrity. Richard Brake co-stars as the murderously insane new member of the clan.
**3/4 stars
Crawl- This Sam Raimi-produced giant killer gator romp is no Jaws. It's thrilling for brief moments. It's claustrophobic. It's also preposterously inconsistent. The killer alligators' power levels seem to vary depending on what the script calls for. They can instantly snap off human limbs for dramatic effect. Or, they can simply bite down with the same ferocity and merely drag you around for a bit. And, of course, our two stalwart protagonists encounter every obstacle possible trying to make them prime reptile cuisine. A college swimmer and her father are trapped in the crawl space of their family home after a Category 5 hurricane touches down in Florida. Unfortunately for the them, the storm isn't the worst of their problems as a family of alligators has made their way into the crawl space through a drainage pipe. It's a fight for survival as father and daughter desperately try to survive the day. Pretty standard stuff. Effective on a small level, but, deeply flawed. Kaya Scodelario and Barry Pepper star.
Doctor Sleep- A sequel 40 years in the making, Doctor Sleep is the follow up to both Stephen King's novel and Stanley Kubrick's horror opus, The Shining. And, it's a trippy psychological terror-scape that invokes just enough elements of its predecessor to be plausibly connected to it, yet remains unique in its own right. Following the life of Danny Torrance shortly after the events of The Shining, the tormented boy grows to be tortured, unhappy adult who resorts to alcoholism to suppress his "shine." With the help of a new friend, Dan, gets his life on track only to become embroiled in a conflict involving young teenager, Abra, who has a shine greater than his own, and the cult of quasi-immortals, the True Knot, a group that feeds on the "steam" created by dying children with the Shining. The film reaches deep into the nostalgia of Kubrick's 1980 venture. We get the decrepit woman from room 237, Delbert Grady, and the infinitely creepy Grady twins. Director Mike Flanagan even throws a little "Redrum" in the blender. There's also cameos from Jack and Wendy Torrance. Sort of. Well, it's not Jack Nicholson and Shelley Duvall in those roles, but, the likenesses and mannerisms of the actors in the movie are decent facsimiles. Although it did make me wonder in this era of "de-aging" technology why the original actors weren't asked to make an appearance. Maybe it was just a way to keep the costs down. Who knows? Doctor Sleep is more a macabre thriller than a bone-chilling screamfest. But, it is one of the better films from the horror genre that has been released in 2019 and worthy successor to a classic. Ewan McGregor and Rebecca Ferguson star.
***1/2 stars
Fast and Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw- Well I guess you know you've made it as a serious film franchise when you can garner a spinoff series. So, to Vin Diesel's great chagrin (allegedly), two of the more popular characters of recent vintage in the Fast and Furious mythology, Luke Hobbs and Deckard Shaw, get their very own team-up movie sans the rest of usual crew. And it's every bit as absurd and bombastic as any chapter of the F&F franchise proper. But, unlike the other films in franchise, I found this one more fun. That might be due to Hobbs & Shaw's total embrace of just how ludicrous it is. DSS agent Hobbs and mercenary Shaw, are paired by the CIA to track down Shaw's sister, Hattie, an MI-6 agent framed for stealing a deadly engineered virus. In hot pursuit of the trio is cybernetically-enhanced terrorist, Brixton Lore (or as he calls himself "Black Superman"), a man who shares a dark past with Shaw and also framed his sister for theft of the virus. Wild chases, cracking heads, and constant quips follow the story from London, to L.A., to Moscow, to Samoa. In fact, they cling to the film like sticky sweat on a humid day. But, as exhausting as the movie was at times, it never felt obnoxious. It didn't put me on sensory overload. And that's due to the strength of chemistry between the two leads. Were the quips corny? Absolutely. But, these two play off each other about has well as any duo in recent memory. Both can tackle action scenes believably and have impeccable comic timing. And that strength alone elevates the fairly mediocre material in the script. Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham, Idris Elba, and Vanessa Kirby star with cameos from Ryan Reynolds, Helen Mirren, and Kevin Hart. And, for the WWE fans, there is a Roman Reigns sighting.
***1/2 stars
The Banana Splits Movie- Gen-Xers rejoice! The Hanna-Barbera created Banana Splits have been immortalized on the big screen. Those of us who grew up in the late 60s and 70s remember jamming with Fleegle, Bingo, Drooper, and Snorky, right? How great is it to have that type of nostalgia realized on the silver screen as...a...horror...movie? That's not a misprint. The mind(s) that came up with this one should be commended for their audacity. Or sheer idiocy. It's a tough call. Instead of humans wearing very bad animal costumes, our beloved Splits are viciously murderous robots under the felt and polyester who go on a mad killing spree inside the studio where the show is filmed after learning of their cancelation. That's not made up folks. But, hey. At least they dismember with a playful giggle. This is not a good movie. But, I have to say this. The demented courage it took to make a beloved children's TV show a horror comedy is something I have to have some admiration for. It's one of the most ridiculous things you'll ever see. If you dare.
**1/2 stars
The Angry Birds Movie 2- The original 2016 film is very much a product of its era. Oh, we've had plenty of films released based on video games. We've even had some based on board games. However, before Angry Birds, I don't think we ever had a film based off a telephone game app. And while that movie had a mixed reception, it apparently performed well enough to garner this year's sequel. Returning with the same voice cast along with a few new players, Angry Birds 2 received a slightly better critical reception than its predecessor. But, for me at least, I thought the comedy was more potent in the first film. That's not saying Angry Birds 2 didn't have its moments. But, it left me a little flat this time around much the same way Wreck-It Ralph 2 did when I compare it to the original. It's a movie that very desperately is trying to reach the finish line of the first installment, but, not quite getting there. Don't misunderstand. I'm not saying the first Angry Birds was the equivalent of the first Ralph, but, the analogy holds just the same. Angry Birds 2 continues the neverending prank war between the two rival islands, Bird Island and Pig Island. Both islands become the target of a third player, a frozen island inhabited by militaristic (and hopelessly dumb) eagles whose vengeance-seeking leader is more than ready to plunder both "paradises." So, get ready for the team-up of a lifetime as birdie and piggy unite against their common foe to the expected bungling of two species that aren't much smarter than their enemy. AB2 is cute. It's fun. But, I think AB1 had bigger and better laughs. Returning voices: Jason Sudeikis, Josh Gad, Bill Hader, Danny McBride, Peter Dinklage, and Maya Rudolph. New voices: Leslie Jones, Tiffany Haddish, and Rachel Bloom.
*** stars
The Irishman- Word of advice before you Netflix and chill with this one. Take a nap prior to diving in because you're going to be tied up for three and half hours. That's not a joke. Having said that, Martin Scorsese's latest gangster epic is flawlessly constructed in every way. With Scorsese, you would expect no less. The acting is top notch all the way. With this cast, you would expect no less. So, why am I not leaping with boundless joy about this? Maybe I've just become cynical. Maybe I've just seen too many of these types of movies. The Irishman is well made in every possible way. But, I've been down this road before. It's very good, but, no more, and, in ways less fascinating than films like Goodfellas, Casino, The Departed, and, of course, the big O.G. of all gangster movies, The Godfather. And, while I was glad to see it, I also wish it hadn't taken up a good portion of my day to do so. The Irishman is adapted from the 2004 book "I Heard You Paint Houses", a biographical account of the life of World War II veteran, mafia hitman, and Teamster racketeer, Frank Sheeran. Sheeran became involved with the Bufalino crime family of Pennsylvania after the war, and, later through his ties to the family, infamous Teamster leader, Jimmy Hoffa. Sheeran is torn between his loyalties to two men he greatly respects and comes to make a fateful choice that costs him greatly. None of us know the real Frank Sheeran, but, as he's depicted here, he's both a sympathetic and despicable figure, capable of loving commitment and extreme acts of brutal violence. On a side note, the three primary figures in the film are "de-aged" for much of the runtime. The CGI is very good, but, there's only one problem that takes away from it a little. While the men look younger than their actual years, they still move like the age they truly are. It's strange. If you watch the movie, you'll see exactly what I'm talking about in stark detail. Tremendous performances from Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino, and Joe Pesci. Harvey Keitel, Anna Paquin, Bobby Cannavale, and Ray Romano co-star.
***3/4 stars
Angel Has Fallen- The third installment of the "Fallen" series follows 2013's Olympus Has Fallen and 2016's London Has Fallen where, once again, Secret Service Agent Mike Banning is embroiled in a plot involving an assassination attempt on the president. This time, however, he's the one being accused of it. This third installment has more life than the flat London Has Fallen for sure. It's on a level with the first film, but, it's far from fresh. I think it's time to retire this series, especially since its star is looking a little long in the tooth now. But, judging from its box office take compared to its budget, we are likely to see the further adventures of Mike Banning. Angel is an adequate action movie. It's paced reasonably well. It doesn't overstay its welcome. The action is competent. It's a standard action movie. Watchable, but, not memorable. Gerard Butler, Morgan Freeman, Nick Nolte, Jada Pinkett Smith, and Danny Huston star.
***1/4 stars
Lady and the Tramp- The verdict is mixed on Disney's recent glut of live action remakes of beloved animated features. Some hit better than others to be sure, but, mostly all are box office, if not critical, gold. Disney tried something a little different here as the remake of the classic dog tale, Lady and the Tramp was not a theatrical release. The film was released on the new Disney + platform. Now you can take this in a couple different ways. It was released on TV friendly platform because there was no confidence in how much box office success it would have (Dumbo was a huge miscalculation). Or, you can take the approach that Disney wanted an original headliner to launch their new project. Either way, Lady and the Tramp is a cute unspectacular remake of the animated feature. Most of us know the story, so, I don't believe there's a need for a summary. There are no major changes to the narrative. However, some cosmetic changes are definitely the product of the current era in which we live. For example, I'm not exactly sure why it was necessary to change a supporting canine character from male to female. And while the film doesn't express exactly the time and place this story occurs, you can infer it's early 20th century America, likely somewhere in the southern region. Lady's owners are depicted as a mixed race couple. Now, don't misunderstand what I'm saying. There's nothing wrong with that. It just struck me as odd that this was the path chosen considering the era and location I believe this film takes place in. I don't believe this kind of coupling wouldn't have raised an eyebrow or two at this time in history. But, it's a children's film and not about that, so, go with it I suppose. The one thing I did miss in this remake were the mischievously evil Siamese cats and the Siamese cat song. There were two mischievously evil cats but they weren't Siamese and the song was completely changed. And, in this day and age, I think I know why. But, the point still came through. And, of course, you couldn't call a movie Lady and the Tramp without the Belle Note spaghetti dinner scene. It can also be a tricky proposition with live action animation to appropriately mimic mouth movements in animals without it appearing cartoonish. I couldn't discern any noticeable gaffes here. The remake is an enjoyable family affair that most should find entertaining at the very least. Voiced by Tessa Thompson, Justin Theroux, Sam Elliot, Janelle Monae, Benedict Wong, Clancy Brown, and Ashley Jensen.
***1/2 stars
Jumanji: The Next Level- In 2017, I ventured to my local theater for Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle. Based on the trailers, I thought it would be a competent mildly funny romp that would be easily forgettable. I was wrong about that. Pleasantly so. Jumanji was on my list of the best movies of the year. It was a rousing comic adventure that was loaded with enjoyable comedic performances by the entire cast. So, of course, Hollywood, as it's wont to do after box office success, releases this 2019 sequel. Ah, sequels. The desperate attempt to cash in on past success using the same lame tropes as the often much superior predecessor. And, for a silly comedic adventure like the 2017 film was, what could all involved possibly do in the encore to rise above lameness? In Jumanji's case, quite a bit. Again, this franchise pleasantly surprised me. Yes, some of the jokes are the same, but, they still landed and cast appeared to have a grand old time busting them out. In this outing, one of our teenaged heroes from 2017 is drawn back into the treacherous adventure video game known as Jumanji. His three friends follow him back in to make the rescue (well, two of them initially and two newcomers to the franchise). But, there's a twist this time. The game avatars they previously had are...a little off from what they had last. And, by virtue of this tweak, there is a lot of new comic gold to be mined. The performances hit the mark again. There's not a bad one in the group. The only criticism I can levy against this is the villain. He snarled. He was mean. But, the cast was in more danger from other parts of the game than they were from him in my opinion. I just believe there could have been more done with the character to make him more menacing than he was. However, outside of this, Jumanji: The Next Level gets a big thumbs up. And, that's rare for a sequel that doesn't come from Marvel Studios these days. Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Jack Black, Karen Gillan, Danny DeVito, and Danny Glover star.
***3/4 stars
Terminator: Dark Fate- Welcome to the 18th try to successfully follow up the classic Terminator 2: Judgement Day. This sixth installment of the machine apocalypse brings Terminator master craftsman, James Cameron, back into the fold as producer. Cameron leaves the direction to Tim Miller of Deadpool fame. And, there's the added bonus that Dark Fate was to be a direct sequel to Judgement Day eliminating all films but the first two from canon. With Cameron back on board teamed with a good director and all the minutiae from previous failed sequels a distant memory, the Terminator franchise should have been poised for a resurgence. Oh, if that only happened. I'm sure most who read this already know the twist of this film that occurs within the first 10 minutes of its runtime. But, just in case, I won't spoil it. But, suffice it to say it really did take me out of the movie for the remainder. Honestly, I know why some fans were salty about it. What was the dang purpose of the first two films if you're going to do that. And, on top of that event, create a divergent reality. Did Cameron and Miller really think that was going to sell? Well, to their chagrin, it didn't. And, then the divergent reality is just a rehashed mashup of Judgement Day anyway. Oh, wait. The difference is instead of a cyborg protector, the new savior of humanity has an enhanced human protector. Got it. And bringing the two iconic stars, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Linda Hamilton, back to hit the fans in the feels could have worked. However, Arnold almost looks bored throughout. Hamilton sounds like she's smoked five packs of cigarettes every day for the last 10 years. Arnold tries to pull a few cheesy quips from his bag and they land about as well as his usual groaners. The new villainous Terminator, the Rev 9, is kind of weird. It's basically a T-1000 that can split itself in two when it wants. The action in Dark Fate is good, but, feels like everything you've seen before. The CGI is questionable at times, particularly the way the Rev 9 moves in certain scenes. What this all boils down to is Dark Fate feels very...soulless. A shell of a movie the powers that be didn't know how to fill and would have been better off if they had just left well enough alone. It appears Terminator isn't so much of a franchise as it is a really good two chapter story. And I say this believing with all my heart that Rise of the Machines would have been a weaker, but, competent third and final act to the saga. It by far worked the best of any film since Judgement Day. But, much like Star Wars' Extended Universe, we wouldn't want a decent story to be canon or anything. This franchise needs to be laid to rest until someone has a vision to take it forward. Or, maybe it should just be terminated. Mackenzie Davis, Natalia Reyes, and Gabriel Luna co-star.
**1/2 stars
Knives Out- I won't lie. It was hard for me to even bring myself around to sitting down for this movie. That would be due to director, Rian Johnson, who wrote, produced, and directed the film. I have not and probably will not in this lifetime forgive him for the atrocity that is The Last Jedi. But, sit down with this movie I did. And, honestly, this homage to Agatha Christie-style murder mysteries is entertaining. Granted the twisty nature of it leaves Johnson in the weeds at times as far as connecting dots, but, Knives Out is generally an intriguing and amusing tale of deception and family drama. A wealthy crime novelist appears to commit suicide on the eve of his 85th birthday celebration. The suspects? Just about every member of his family who has an axe to grind with him. The master sleuth? A brilliant "Foghorn Leghorn" accented (that's how one character describes him in the film) private detective who has to navigate the murky waters of the "loving" tribe to find the truth. You know, Johnson creating something that is solely his own, is not a horrible storyteller. Just don't give him carte blanche to annihilate something that already has an established identity. No gouda! I will warn there is political commentary that might be offensive to some of a certain leaning. If you're familiar with Johnson, you know where he stands on this spectrum. Daniel Craig, Jamie Lee Curtis, Michael Shannon, Don Johnson, Chris Evans, Toni Collette, and Ana de Armas star.
Bombshell- I would imagine your enjoyment of this film will depend on your political leanings although it is based on true events. Following the past decade's scandal of Fox News CEO, Roger Ailes, being accused of sexual harassment by several women, including Megyn Kelly, the film doesn't paint a pretty picture of conservatives in general or Fox News in particular. It does a fair job of exploring the moral dilemmas and very real fear of challenging power. The movie also reveals just how competitive and cutthroat the news business can be and what a person might be willing to swallow and conform to for the sake of career. The victims of Ailes are revealed to very flawed human beings themselves (I am in no way saying their harassment by Ailes was in any way deserved) that had to navigate many challenging minefields to see justice done. The performances are high quality. The makeup work took me aback a bit as two of the main actresses' appearances are altered to a point of distortion in my opinion. Maybe that was the point to alter their features to appear as close to the real life players as possible. It just looked a bit strange at times. Charlize Theron, Margot Robbie, Nicole Kidman, Kate McKinnon, and John Lithgow star.
***1/2 stars
Parasite- Bong Joon-ho's dark comedy thriller is an eclectic configuration of two different genres. Meet the Kim family. A lower class South Korean clan living in near squalor. Through a stroke of luck, a friend of the family's teenage son turns him on to a lucrative opportunity taking his place as English tutor to the teenage daughter of the wealthy Park family. Once the son gains a foothold, slowly, but, surely the remainder of this crafty clan of grifters (father, mother, sister) make their way onto the Parks' payroll in various capacities. However, just as life becomes rainbows and unicorns for the Kims, an ex-Park employee reveals a secret that can make the whole façade come crashing down. And, that's when the film takes a stark turn in both story and tone. While not nearly the same type of film, Parasite reminded me so much of From Dusk Til Dawn for the abruptness of how it changes its face. It's like getting hit with a bucket of ice water, but, that's not a bad thing. Joon-ho has crafted an intricately humorous tale of class politics and the ramifications of how it can destroy human life on a dime. It is a foreign language film, so, if you don't speak Korean, you will need to read subtitles. I'm not usually big on this, but, for Parasite, the effort is worth it. There are very good performances to be found here and the movie is genuinely amusing. Until it isn't.
**** stars
Marriage Story- Noah Baumbach wrote, produced, and directed this dramatic made-for-Netflix piece of a couple amicably going through a divorce. Or, trying to anyway. Despite their best efforts to remain friendly for the sake of their young son, the situation naturally devolves when lawyers become involved and the bitterness comes out of both camps. Much of the runtime of Marriage Story is not terribly exciting, but, it is well acted, particularly by Laura Dern as the wife's cynical shark of a lawyer. Whose side you come down on I suppose is a matter of perspective. Both husband and wife have blame for the breakdown, and, in one scene, friendly discussion escalates very quickly into vicious smears. It was the best scene in the film, not for the ugliness, but, the realness and raw conflicting emotions two people going through a difficult situation like this would have. It was a very well acted moment between the two leads. The ending, while not necessarily feel good, does give you hope that all parties will be fine in the aftermath. But, this is still a one and done watch. Adam Driver, Scarlett Johansson, Ray Liotta, Julie Hagerty, Merritt Weaver, and Alan Alda star.
***1/4 stars
The Lighthouse- Much like Ari Aster, Robert Eggers is one of the new names in horror who definitely has his own unique voice. Much like his last effort, The Witch, The Lighthouse is an ode to psychological horror. In the late 19th century, two men operate a lighthouse on an island off the New England coast. As the weeks go by, both experience a downward spiral into madness as isolation, alcohol, and loneliness chip away at their sanity. Can they survive each other? Here's the issue I have with Eggers. The horror is so mindbogglingly abstract most of the time you're left with a feeling of "What the Hell just happened here?" I can't say Eggers movies are bad. They're interesting in their way. I like that he approaches the genre in a different manner. But, the approach is trippy to the max. The best thing I can say when you watch an Eggers film is "Handle with care." Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson both give unhinged performances.
*** stars
Jexi- Usually tales crafted about out of control artificial intelligence aren't played for laughs. Well, if you were looking for such a movie, look no more. This silly film pits an unassuming schlub against a vengeful Siri-like A.I. that tries to make his life a nightmare after he "rejects" it. All the usual tropes are present as the poor guy gradually learns to stand up for himself. There isn't much more to say about this except it is surprisingly amusing especially as the A.I. says things that would make a sailor blush. Let your brain relax and you'll have a good time with this one. Adam Devine and Michael Pena star. Rose Burn as the voice of Jexi is hilarious.
***1/4 stars
The Good Liar- A cunning con man. A wealth naïve widow. Both are on a collision course in this twisty thriller from Bill Condon. You'll be able to deduce that things are maybe not what they seem immediately, so the film isn't particularly clever in that respect. And, it gets darkly convoluted about 3/4 of the way through. The way it flashes back to the 1940s took me out of narrative a bit. In some respects, I think the story fared better as a published work (it is based on a novel) than it does visually on the big screen with some of the themes it introduces. However, the chemistry between the two leads keeps this train rolling through the end and that's what makes it worth the effort to sit down with it. Helen Mirren and Ian McKellen star.
***1/2 stars
Black and Blue- A rookie police officer films a gangland execution perpetrated by fellow officers on her bodycam and becomes the hunted through urban New Orleans in this action thriller. Not only is the film action packed, but, it also focuses on social commentary such as how the urban poor is looked upon by society in general and some police in particular. The movie may not be a popular one among the police because it doesn't paint them in a flattering light for the most part. In addition, Black and Blue succeeds in conveying the anger, fear, confusion, and panic the officer faces attempting to allude her would-be assassins. This is a solid actioner from beginning to end. Naomie Harris, Tyrese Gibson, Frank Grillo, and Mike Colter star.
***1/2 stars
El Camino- This made-for-Netflix film was written and directed by Vince Gilligan, the creator of what many believe is one of the greatest TV series of all time, Breaking Bad, and serves as an epilogue to that great crime drama. It follows main support character, Jesse Pinkman, and begins immediately after the show's series finale. Jesse is on the run from law enforcement and the underworld trying to piece together his shattered life and start anew while dealing with his severe PTSD that resulted from his most recent situation. Presented with a few flashback sequences that flesh out why he makes some of the decisions he does, El Camino has the typical slow burn murder and mayhem you came to expect from the parent series. I think the flashbacks could have had smoother transitions and serve to make the story slightly disjointed, but, fans of Breaking Bad should find this a satisfying conclusion to the series. It also provides a definitive punctuation mark to the final fate of teacher-turned-drug kingpin, Walter White, as there has been speculation if audiences really saw what they believed they saw in the finale. Aaron Paul reprises his role as Jesse Pinkman. Bryan Cranston and Jonathan Banks have cameo appearances as Walter White and Mike Ehrmantraut respectively.
***1/2 stars
21 Bridges- Two small time thieves take a job for easy money that goes horribly wrong. A relentless detective convinces authorities to shut down entry and exit to New York City so he can follow their trail of death. But, he only has a few hours to find them in this cat and mouse game against the backdrop of one of the largest cities in the world. Produced by the Russo Brothers of Marvel Cinematic Universe fame, 21 Bridges is a compelling fast paced crime thriller. The urgency of finding two people in a large city maze gives it a bit of a 24-type of vibe if anyone remembers that classic TV series from the beginning of the millennium. Yes, it takes a few leaps in logic as people seem to crisscross a large city in record time at every opportunity. And the big reveal that something deeper is amiss I think came a bit too early if that makes sense. Usually these types of reveals don't come until near the end of a film. Coming as early as it did took some of the suspense out of the production for me. But, overall, this is a more than competent crime drama. Chadwick Boseman, Sienna Miller, and J.K. Simmons star.
***1/2 stars
The Addams Family- We've seen this creepy and cooky, mysterious and ooky family on both the small screen and big screen. We've even seen them animated on the small screen. Well, now prepare yourselves for the one, the only Addams Family animated on the big screen. This offering from United Artists begins with the marriage of Gomez and Morticia Addams where the happy couple is soon run out of town by frightened townspeople who disapprove of the Addams' Clan's macabre ways. Deciding to re-settle in a haunted asylum in New Jersey, Gomez and Morticia start their family isolated from the rest of the community. But, civilization has a way of finding you, and more than a decade after relocating, the Addams' daughter, Wednesday, becomes interested in the outside world. Suburban bliss will meet dark strangeness as the two sides finally intermingle. This film is pleasant enough for what it is. The Addams' weirdness is on full display as you would expect. But, this version seemed to be missing something and I couldn't put my finger on it until the end. The beauty of the Addams Family is that they did proudly stand apart from regular "decent" society. They were weird and wore it as a badge of honor. That was the beautiful hilarity of their existence. By the end of this movie, they're pretty much accepted by the entire community. It's as if "they're not so different from us after all." But, that's the whole point. They're supposed to be! I suppose since this was an animated feature, the studio decided to tone down the strange to make it more family friendly. But, the Addams Family shouldn't be that. They're weirdos. Let them be that and let those in their hemisphere react to it. That's the artistry of the whole concept. Voiced by Oscar Isaac, Charlize Theron, Chloe Grace Moretz, Bette Midler, Finn Wolfhard, Allison Janney and Snoop Dogg among others.
*** stars
Little Women- This seventh adaptation of Louisa May Alcott's 19th century novel is directed by the acclaimed Greta Gerwig. For any readers not familiar with this literary work, it follows the four March sisters each struggling to find their way in a post Civil War world. Before sitting down to view this film, I had a vague knowledge of what to expect from it. It's a period piece based on a classic novel. I didn't necessarily expect the journey to be fun, but, I was hoping to be entertained somewhat. I will fully admit that maybe I am not the best person to review a movie such as this as I tend to not be overly excited about most classic literature. I'm sure that had something to do with my boredom with this. I wasn't impressed. I found myself drifting quite frequently. Again, take all my reviews with a grain of salt, this one especially. If you are a fan of the novel, you will likely enjoy this rendition. I wish I could give you more, but, I'm not sure what else I can say that wouldn't do a disservice to it. Saoirse Ronan, Emma Watson, Florence Pugh, Eliza Scanlen, Laura Dern, Meryl Streep, and Bob Odenkirk star.
**3/4 stars
JoJo Rabbit- Director Taika Waititi is someone I have a difficult time reconciling with. He is talented. He is funny. He has produced work that I have liked. But, he's also done the unforgivable in my eyes by foisting the abomination that was Thor: Ragnarok on the masses. So, while I do believe he's a gifted director, my eyebrow might be forever raised when I do see his name attached to a project. That said, this dramedy set in Nazi Germany during the last stages of World War II is a project where I'd give the director a pat on the back. It's the story of a young German boy, Johannes (JoJo) Betzler, who has been deeply indoctrinated with Nazi propaganda and joined a Nazi youth organization that is being trained to defend the country from invaders. A lonely and cruelly teased boy, he takes solace in his imaginary friend, a buffoonish version of Adolf Hitler himself. JoJo's world view is turned upside down when he discovers his secretly anti-Nazi mother is harboring a fugitive in their home, a teenage Jewish girl. At first hostile to the "Jewish interloper", he becomes inquisitive about her and a relationship slowly develops between the two where instant death can be one mistake away for both of them. The true magic of this film is pushing the idea that even people who harbor abhorrent beliefs can find redemption. JoJo and Elsa's relationship is both painful and amusing. He has such twisted views of Aryans and Jews that you almost can't be upset by them. His belief system is as comically bigoted as an Archie Bunker. But, Elsa, and certain other tragic consequences that occur opens his eyes to just how dangerous a fascist belief system truly is. Waititi strikes just the right balance of light and dark. Just when life starts to get overly heavy, Hitler often makes an appearance to add some absurdity. And Waititi himself plays the character with a deliberate idiocy that's joyfully entertaining. I have to give it to him. This was a good one. Scarlett Johansson, Rebel Wilson, Stephen Merchant, and Sam Rockwell star.
***3/4 stars
Zombieland: Double Tap- The further adventures of Tallahassee, Columbus, Witchita, and Little Rock, this sequel to the raucous 2009 horror comedy picks up 10 years after the original where our intrepid zombie slayers have found "domestic bliss" residing in the abandoned White House. Tranquility doesn't last when one becomes desperate to find others outside of the "family" to relate with. This leads to a wild chain of events including a marriage proposal, a hippie commune, new doppelgänger allies, and a vapid blonde who survived the apocalypse in a freezer. All of this against the backdrop of a new and deadlier "T-800" strain of zombie that's reared its ugly little head. Double Tap suffers from the syndrome most sequels do, particularly ones that span several years from their original source material. As hard as they may try, they don't capture the magic of the first installment. Same jokes. Same set ups. But, this is one that does it adequately enough to be entertaining. There are some big laughs to be had from the irreverent silliness. Just don't expect to have the same love for this one. Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, Jesse Eisenberg, and Abigail Breslin return.
***1/2 stars
Gemini Man- How would you react if you were being hunted by someone who looks exactly like you? That's the mystery elite government assassin Henry Brogan must unravel in Ang Lee's action thriller. Why does Brogan's "twin" want him dead? Brogan has a lot of baggage (and kills) through the decades and he has several enemies. But, this one will hit close to him and destroy him as much mentally as it does physically. The "de-aging" technology in Gemini Man gets a mixed review from me. When Brogan's twin is filmed with some distance it looks pretty good. Up close? The best I can describe it as is weird, particularly from a profile. The twin's demeanor is also very robotic and a little off-putting. But, I suppose that may have been what Lee was going for given the character's origin. Gemini Man is a good action thriller that attempts to address several aspects of psychological trauma to varying degrees of success. It's not a must watch, but, it is one you probably won't be disappointed with. Will Smith, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, and Clive Owen star.
***1/2 stars
Fighting with my Family- This biopic of WWE star, Paige, was co-produced by "The Rock" himself, Dwayne Johnson. And guess what? It's a WWE-produced film that's actually very good. Following Paige's humble beginnings wrestling for her parent's small promotion in the U.K. as a teenager to her selection to the WWE's developmental NXT roster to her ascendance to WWE superstar this is a funny, heartfelt film that shows dreams are worth working your butt off for and despair is conquerable. And the training montages are worth tuning in for as well, particularly if you are a fan of the "sport." Plus, the whole product is brought together by a wonderful performance by Florence Pugh as Paige. Nick Frost, Lena Heady, and Vince Vaughn co-star. Dwayne Johnson and several other WWE stars make cameos.
**** stars
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Queen and Slim- A young African-American couple on an awkward date run afoul of police during a traffic stop. In the ensuing melee, the officer is killed and the couple go on the run trying to stay one step ahead of the authorities as bounties are placed on their heads. Director Melina Matsoukas' film will invoke several emotions including anger and resentment. It is racially charged so if you're not comfortable with this sort of story, Queen and Slim won't help you get over that. Also, if you fall on a certain hard directional side of the political spectrum, you might say the film is slanted in a very biased way. Unfortunately, the harsh reality is that certain ethnicities do suffer from similar injustices depicted in this movie whether you believe Matsoukas is being heavy handed or not. The runtime is longer than I felt it needed to be. It did make me drift a bit at times. It's hard for me to review films such as this because they do bring out strong emotions which I suppose is part of the point. Saying it is good is a stretch given the subject matter. So, what I will say is it's competently made even if it may be a little overlong. Daniel Kaluuya, Jodie Turner-Smith, Chloe Sevigny, Bokeem Woodbine, and Flea (of Red Hot Chili Peppers fame) star.
***1/2 stars
1917- Sam Mendes' World War I epic is everything you could expect from a war movie. It's riveting and depressing at the same time. I'm never one to seek this type of film out immediately because of that dynamic. In April 1917, two British soldiers are tasked with carrying a message to the front line battalions of the Royal Army warning of a fatal trap that has been set by the "retreating" German Army. They'll have to cross a treacherous French No Man's Land which they are told shouldn't be an issue since there are no Germans in the area (riiiiiight). The striking thing about this film is the way it draws you into the journey this two soldiers are undertaking. You feel their fear drawing resolve to emerge from the trenches and walk through the miles of barbed wire laced field ahead of them. You're reminded of the overwhelming enormity of the task ahead of them in almost every scene after they have been given their orders. The best part of 1917 is it has a steady flow. At approximately two hours, it doesn't feel like it hangs on endlessly as many films in this genre tend to do. I won't say watching this is enjoyable due to its subject matter, but, I can grant it's consumable in a historical sense. George McKay and Dean-Charles Chapman star. Mark Strong, Colin Firth, and Benedict Cumberbatch have minor roles.
***1/2 stars
Uncut Gems- In a rare departure from his usual inane lunacy, Adam Sandler stars as a New York jeweler with a gambling addiction in this drama directed by Josh and Benny Safdie. Howard Ratner runs a high end jewelry store in New York's Diamond District. He's able to acquire a rare black opal from Africa that, once seen, is coveted by NBA star, Kevin Garnett, who happens to visiting Ratner's store on the day it arrives. Believing it will bring him good look in his upcoming playoff game, Garnett convinces Ratner to loan him the jewel in exchange for his championship ring until after the game. Wishing to sell the opal at auction, Howard still acquiesces hoping he can parlay the cash he receives pawning Garnett's ring by betting on the star having a stellar performance in his game. As with most shady dealings, the best laid plans go awry and Ratner will spend the next harrowing days trying to reacquire the gem while trying to stay steps ahead of a loan shark he owes who happens to be his brother-in-law. The pace of this film felt a bit frantic to me. It really didn't draw me into caring much for any of the characters or the story itself. Maybe it's because everyone in the film is, at best, a tad bit shady (including Garnett). But, that's a copout because there are plenty of movies where you do actually care about the fate of characters of questionable character. I guess my largest issue is wondering why this story should be interesting in the first place. I didn't hate it. I didn't find it boring. I just found it hard to be concerned about any of it. On the plus side, Sandler does prove that when he wants to turn it on and avoid the silliness, he has some acting chops. Eric Bogosian and Judd Hirsch co-star.
**3/4 stars
Anna- There's one thing you can say about director, Luc Besson. He believes in kick-ass female characters. He continues the tradition in his newest film, Anna, the story of a young woman who escapes domestic abuse through working as an assassin for the KGB. The action scenes are top of the line. You would expect nothing different from Besson. The story will give you enough whiplash to put you in permanent traction. It seems every three minutes or so, Anna is working for someone different. Is she loyal to the KGB? Or is it the CIA? Is it her handler? Or, is she simply only loyal to herself? We never really know until the very end. The non-linear way the story unfolds is different, and, more than a little bit frustrating at times. One thing this movie shows you is in the world of spies, nothing is as it seems. Sasha Luss, Helen Mirren, Luke Evans, and Cillian Murphy star.
***1/4 stars
0*= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit!
2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Worth a look. Better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. I'm doing my happy dance!
5 *= Pure eye candy. I have seen the top of the mountain, and it is good
