Reviews from the Dark Side presents
Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa
Released 10/25/13, now in theaters
What do you get when you put Johnny Knoxville in old man makeup, add a scandalous young boy as his traveling companion, and allow the two to pull some of the most outrageous pranks on an unsuspecting public? You get the latest installment from the Jackass film franchise, Bad Grandpa. Yes, Knoxville is back pulling his usual shenanigans with his usual utter lack of taste as 86-year old Irving Zisman. Knoxville also co-directed.
The film follows Zisman "mourning" the death of wife in the beginning. And, mourning, for Irving, means trying to find the first female on two legs who will engage in carnal acts with him. His newfound freedom is cramped when he is forced into caring for his young grandson, Billy (Jackson Nicoll). It seems Irving's daughter has gotten herself into some hot water and is on her way to jail (again). But, as Irving sees his grandson as woman repellant, he's eager to hand him off to his slacker, good-for-nothing father in North Carolina. Billy's father doesn't want the responsibility either until he is erroneously convinced by one of his pothead friends that the boy could be worth money in government subsidies. Irving, however, must take Billy to his father, so the two go on a cross-country road trip(with Irving's dead wife in the trunk-don't ask). Along the way, both pull hidden camera pranks galore on everyone unfortunate enough to cross their paths from convenience store personnel to the audience of a pre-teen beauty pageant.
What struck me about this movie aside from actually having a (very) loose plot, is that it attempts to have a heart among all of the crass silliness. Irving and Billy bond, albeit in a stupid, juvenile way. It's actually kind of sweet if you can look past the pranks.
As for the pranks, you either like this kind of humor or you don't. And I liked Bad Grandpa a lot. It reminded me of the brilliant Borat much more than the Jackass movies. Sorry, Jackass fans. While I thought there were some funny segments in those films, it was pretty much a contest who could get smacked in the crotch the hardest. Bad Grandpa revels unflinchingly in its crudeness and makes no apology.
In addition to Knoxville who is brilliant as the perverted, unscrupulous Zisman, Jackson Nicoll is every bit his equal as Billy. This kid is not the innocent cherub he appears to be. He has some great lines and proves he doesn't need Knoxville in the scene with him to turn it into comedy gold.
If you're looking for a good laugh, you can't do much better at this time of the year than Bad Grandpa. Again, be warned. If you are not familiar with Knoxville's brand of humor, you could be in for a rude awakening. But, if you like your laughs a little on the twisted side, this is your kind of movie.
The Dark Lord of the Sith says:
**** stars
Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit!
2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee.
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here.
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Carrie
Reviews from the Dark Side presents
Carrie
Released 10/18/13, now in theaters
What? Yet another Hollywood remake? And worse yet, another remake of Carrie? Really? There aren't any other good ideas in Tinseltown? Remaking a movie that many consider a classic will automatically lend itself to the naysayers. But, the naysayers sometimes have a point when you consider the horrid retelling of Psycho starring Vince Vaughn. And, what about the less than stellar 2002 TV remake of Carrie? Prospects weren't good for this one even with the nice, gory trailers.
So, when comparing Kimberly Peirce's version to Brian DePalma's 1976 version, I will say this remake fleshes out Carrie White's character more than the original. She actually goes through a period of self discovery after learning she possesses the power of telekinesis. Peirce allows the audience to feel the entire spectrum of emotion from fear, to exultation, to anger with Carrie as you watch the teenager's tribulation.
As for the story itself, it's almost identical to the '70s version, but has a few asides to make it unique from the original. For those not familiar, Carrie is based on a 1974 novel by Stephen King. Carrie White (Chloe Grace Moretz) is a sheltered teenager who incurs the wrath of a vicious, privileged classmate, Chris Hargensen (Portia Doubleday), after she is punished for leading a group of girls in humiliating Carrie at school (and, later, the internet). Carrie's home life is as grueling as her school life due to her Puritanical mother, Margaret (Julianne Moore). The lonely girl discovers she has telekinesis which excites her, but makes her just as isolated as ever. When another classmate, Sue Snell (Gabriella Wilde), who was involved in Carrie's humiliation convinces her boyfriend to take Carrie to the prom as an apology for her involvement in the fiasco, Carrie is, at first, suspicious, but, later, acquiesces, much to the disappointment and displeasure of her mother. Carrie's life appears to be on an upswing until she suffers the ultimate humiliation at the prom that will move her to unleash the full destructive capability of her new power.
I did mention that there are differences between the new version and the original. The current version begins with a birth sequence in which Carrie almost doesn't survive to become a tormented teenager. Carrie also has more of a self-discovery of her power in the new version that provides a more detailed glimpse of how powerful she has become. And, after the disaster at the prom, she looks positively like a creepy witch as she floats in the air covered in blood. And, there's the shock ending. There's no hand in this one, but the final sequence still involves a strange happening at a gravesite. Neither ending makes much sense if you think about it. They're there simply to create a final jump-scare, although I do think the original is creepier.
Chloe Moretz once again proves why she is one the best young actresses in the business today. To date, I don't think I've ever seen her give a bad performance. The movie she's in may be bummer, but she never is. And this role provides the opportunity for her to display a wide range of emotions.
She's convincing as both a timid, shy mouse and as a raging, emotional instrument of death and destruction. This isn't to say she was any better or worse than Sissy Spacek in the original. Both have stamped their mark on the character in my opinion.
Many have said this remake is totally unnecessary and I agree. It is unnecessary. No one was beating a drum for another version of Carrie. But despite that fact, I try to examine a movie on its own merits. Just because it's a rehash doesn't mean it isn't good. And, this updated version is good. I believe it is better than the original in some ways. There is a greater depiction of the character's incredible power. Carrie specifically targets her tormentors rather than setting the entire gymnasium and everyone in it ablaze. It tries to flesh out this lonely girl's character a little more much in the same way Rob Zombie fleshed out the character of Michael Myers in his remake of Halloween. It's not any better or worse than the original. It's just different. There's room for both movies in your imagination if you leave yourself open to the possibility.
More than fitting into the horror genre, Carrie is a kind of allegory on teen bullying and overparenting. It's easy to see why the girl snaps. Her mother's sheltering of her from life itself has made her a freak among her peers. She's an easy target to the type of cruelty children in general and teenagers, in particular, can heap upon those they consider weak. An even sadder affair is the love Carrie still has for her mother at the end after everything she has done and attempted to do to her daughter. Unfortunately, Margaret is all this sad young woman has ever known.
Even Margaret's character is given a little more depth here than in the original version. I can't say anything other than this woman is a total wreck of a human being. She frequently cuts herself and frequently locks her daughter in a closet to repent for her "sins." She did go through a serious trauma in her daughter's conception which has contributed to the ultra-conservative lifestyle she forces on Carrie and herself. She cares for her daughter but can't reconcile her desire to protect her from all sin and evil for Carrie's desire to live a normal life when she has the opportunity.
Carrie also works as a great revenge motif. Some may not go to the extremes she does to get even, but haven't we all wished someone who mistreated us would have his/her face smashed through a car windshield? No? Maybe it's just me. So, nevermind.
The Dark Lord of the Sith says:
*** 1/2 stars
Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit!
2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee.
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here.
Carrie
Released 10/18/13, now in theaters
What? Yet another Hollywood remake? And worse yet, another remake of Carrie? Really? There aren't any other good ideas in Tinseltown? Remaking a movie that many consider a classic will automatically lend itself to the naysayers. But, the naysayers sometimes have a point when you consider the horrid retelling of Psycho starring Vince Vaughn. And, what about the less than stellar 2002 TV remake of Carrie? Prospects weren't good for this one even with the nice, gory trailers.
So, when comparing Kimberly Peirce's version to Brian DePalma's 1976 version, I will say this remake fleshes out Carrie White's character more than the original. She actually goes through a period of self discovery after learning she possesses the power of telekinesis. Peirce allows the audience to feel the entire spectrum of emotion from fear, to exultation, to anger with Carrie as you watch the teenager's tribulation.
As for the story itself, it's almost identical to the '70s version, but has a few asides to make it unique from the original. For those not familiar, Carrie is based on a 1974 novel by Stephen King. Carrie White (Chloe Grace Moretz) is a sheltered teenager who incurs the wrath of a vicious, privileged classmate, Chris Hargensen (Portia Doubleday), after she is punished for leading a group of girls in humiliating Carrie at school (and, later, the internet). Carrie's home life is as grueling as her school life due to her Puritanical mother, Margaret (Julianne Moore). The lonely girl discovers she has telekinesis which excites her, but makes her just as isolated as ever. When another classmate, Sue Snell (Gabriella Wilde), who was involved in Carrie's humiliation convinces her boyfriend to take Carrie to the prom as an apology for her involvement in the fiasco, Carrie is, at first, suspicious, but, later, acquiesces, much to the disappointment and displeasure of her mother. Carrie's life appears to be on an upswing until she suffers the ultimate humiliation at the prom that will move her to unleash the full destructive capability of her new power.
I did mention that there are differences between the new version and the original. The current version begins with a birth sequence in which Carrie almost doesn't survive to become a tormented teenager. Carrie also has more of a self-discovery of her power in the new version that provides a more detailed glimpse of how powerful she has become. And, after the disaster at the prom, she looks positively like a creepy witch as she floats in the air covered in blood. And, there's the shock ending. There's no hand in this one, but the final sequence still involves a strange happening at a gravesite. Neither ending makes much sense if you think about it. They're there simply to create a final jump-scare, although I do think the original is creepier.
Chloe Moretz once again proves why she is one the best young actresses in the business today. To date, I don't think I've ever seen her give a bad performance. The movie she's in may be bummer, but she never is. And this role provides the opportunity for her to display a wide range of emotions.
She's convincing as both a timid, shy mouse and as a raging, emotional instrument of death and destruction. This isn't to say she was any better or worse than Sissy Spacek in the original. Both have stamped their mark on the character in my opinion.
Many have said this remake is totally unnecessary and I agree. It is unnecessary. No one was beating a drum for another version of Carrie. But despite that fact, I try to examine a movie on its own merits. Just because it's a rehash doesn't mean it isn't good. And, this updated version is good. I believe it is better than the original in some ways. There is a greater depiction of the character's incredible power. Carrie specifically targets her tormentors rather than setting the entire gymnasium and everyone in it ablaze. It tries to flesh out this lonely girl's character a little more much in the same way Rob Zombie fleshed out the character of Michael Myers in his remake of Halloween. It's not any better or worse than the original. It's just different. There's room for both movies in your imagination if you leave yourself open to the possibility.
More than fitting into the horror genre, Carrie is a kind of allegory on teen bullying and overparenting. It's easy to see why the girl snaps. Her mother's sheltering of her from life itself has made her a freak among her peers. She's an easy target to the type of cruelty children in general and teenagers, in particular, can heap upon those they consider weak. An even sadder affair is the love Carrie still has for her mother at the end after everything she has done and attempted to do to her daughter. Unfortunately, Margaret is all this sad young woman has ever known.
Even Margaret's character is given a little more depth here than in the original version. I can't say anything other than this woman is a total wreck of a human being. She frequently cuts herself and frequently locks her daughter in a closet to repent for her "sins." She did go through a serious trauma in her daughter's conception which has contributed to the ultra-conservative lifestyle she forces on Carrie and herself. She cares for her daughter but can't reconcile her desire to protect her from all sin and evil for Carrie's desire to live a normal life when she has the opportunity.
Carrie also works as a great revenge motif. Some may not go to the extremes she does to get even, but haven't we all wished someone who mistreated us would have his/her face smashed through a car windshield? No? Maybe it's just me. So, nevermind.
The Dark Lord of the Sith says:
*** 1/2 stars
Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit!
2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee.
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Machete Kills
Reviews from the Dark Side presents
Machete Kills
Released 10/11/13, now in theaters
Oh, the humanity! And blood! And guts! And gore! And just about any other ridiculous scenario you could conceive! Yes, it's acclaimed director, Robert Rodriguez's follow up to his 2010 B-movie cult hit, Machete, which itself was fleshed out into a motion picture from a "fake" trailer in 2007's Grindhouse. But, this time...Machete Kills! OK, he kills in the first movie, too. But didn't that sound nice and cheesy?
Speaking of cheesy, that's the Machete series in a nutshell. For those not yet familiar with these movies, Machete (Danny Trejo) is an ex-Federale-turned-spy who is tougher than shoe leather, very skilled in the art of killing, and impossible to kill himself. And, he seems to get every beautiful woman in the film like James Bond.
So, what's left for our anti-hero to do after all of the death and carnage from the first film. Is there anyone left to kill? Of course, there is.
After an unfortunate incident involving his partner/love interest, Sartana (Jessica Alba), Machete is recruited by U.S. President, Rathcock (Charlie Sheen, or Carlos Estevez, or whatever he's calling himself these days. And yes that is his name in this movie). An insane ex-drug kingpin-turned-revolutionary, Mendez (Demian Bichir), has acquired a deadly missile that he has pointed squarely at Washington, D.C. Machete is sent to infiltrate Mendez's organization and kill him if he's a serious threat.
On this unbelievable road of chaos, he encounters several unusual people. There is his appointed handler who is only known as Miss San Antonio (Amber Heard). If you haven't guessed, her cover is competing as a pageant queen. There is Madame Desdemona (Sofia Vergara), the proprietor of a seedy brothel in Mexico. You probably won't recognize one of Desdemona's girls who goes by the name, Killjoy (Alexa Vega). Don't remember her? Check out any of the Spy Kids movies and prepare for your mind to be blown! How about the bounty hunter, El Camaleon or La Chamaleon? Oh, you think these are two different people? Well, they aren't, although Antonio Banderas, Cuba Gooding Jr., Walton Goggins, and Lady Gaga each take their crack at being this character. And, finally, there's Luther Voz (Mel Gibson). Luther, the true threat in the film, is an eccentric billionaire arms dealer who has launched a worldwide conspiracy to make the planet a giant crater.
Let's just get this out of the way now. This is one of the craziest, most idiotic movies you will see in your life! Seriously, there is actually a scene where Machete disembowels a bad guy and throws his intestines into a spinning helicopter blade allowing the blade to pull the still attached evildoer into its deadly rotation. That pretty much says it all about the over-the-top violence. Bad, bad, bad, and more bad. It's horrible, mind-numbing, adolescent and...funny as Hell! Made you think I hated Machete Kills, didn't I?
This is the first and only warning I will give those who read this review. This movie is made for a very specialized audience. It's for those who like their big explosions and gory death with a enormous slice of T&A. Machete Kills for all intents and purposes is an unlabeled comedy. The cartoonish violence, bad scene-chewing acting, and massive cleavage is all perpetrated by Rodriguez and company with tongues firmly in cheeks. And then, of course, there's Machete's habit of referring to himself in the third person ("Machete don't text"). This is a B-movie that revels in its lunacy, and for that , you have to give all involved credit.
So, with that said, I do recommend a movie that many will see as tripe. It's one of those movies that's so bad, it's good. So, drink it in Machete Kills. You have now reached the status of other "bad" classics such as Shoot 'Em Up, the 80's version of Flash Gordon, and your predecessor. Very high praise, indeed!
Until the release of Machete Kills Again...In Space (don't laugh, there was a trailer), this is the Dark Lord signing off.
The Dark Lord of the Sith says:
***1/4 stars
Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit!
2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee.
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here.
Machete Kills
Released 10/11/13, now in theaters
Oh, the humanity! And blood! And guts! And gore! And just about any other ridiculous scenario you could conceive! Yes, it's acclaimed director, Robert Rodriguez's follow up to his 2010 B-movie cult hit, Machete, which itself was fleshed out into a motion picture from a "fake" trailer in 2007's Grindhouse. But, this time...Machete Kills! OK, he kills in the first movie, too. But didn't that sound nice and cheesy?
Speaking of cheesy, that's the Machete series in a nutshell. For those not yet familiar with these movies, Machete (Danny Trejo) is an ex-Federale-turned-spy who is tougher than shoe leather, very skilled in the art of killing, and impossible to kill himself. And, he seems to get every beautiful woman in the film like James Bond.
So, what's left for our anti-hero to do after all of the death and carnage from the first film. Is there anyone left to kill? Of course, there is.
After an unfortunate incident involving his partner/love interest, Sartana (Jessica Alba), Machete is recruited by U.S. President, Rathcock (Charlie Sheen, or Carlos Estevez, or whatever he's calling himself these days. And yes that is his name in this movie). An insane ex-drug kingpin-turned-revolutionary, Mendez (Demian Bichir), has acquired a deadly missile that he has pointed squarely at Washington, D.C. Machete is sent to infiltrate Mendez's organization and kill him if he's a serious threat.
On this unbelievable road of chaos, he encounters several unusual people. There is his appointed handler who is only known as Miss San Antonio (Amber Heard). If you haven't guessed, her cover is competing as a pageant queen. There is Madame Desdemona (Sofia Vergara), the proprietor of a seedy brothel in Mexico. You probably won't recognize one of Desdemona's girls who goes by the name, Killjoy (Alexa Vega). Don't remember her? Check out any of the Spy Kids movies and prepare for your mind to be blown! How about the bounty hunter, El Camaleon or La Chamaleon? Oh, you think these are two different people? Well, they aren't, although Antonio Banderas, Cuba Gooding Jr., Walton Goggins, and Lady Gaga each take their crack at being this character. And, finally, there's Luther Voz (Mel Gibson). Luther, the true threat in the film, is an eccentric billionaire arms dealer who has launched a worldwide conspiracy to make the planet a giant crater.
Let's just get this out of the way now. This is one of the craziest, most idiotic movies you will see in your life! Seriously, there is actually a scene where Machete disembowels a bad guy and throws his intestines into a spinning helicopter blade allowing the blade to pull the still attached evildoer into its deadly rotation. That pretty much says it all about the over-the-top violence. Bad, bad, bad, and more bad. It's horrible, mind-numbing, adolescent and...funny as Hell! Made you think I hated Machete Kills, didn't I?
This is the first and only warning I will give those who read this review. This movie is made for a very specialized audience. It's for those who like their big explosions and gory death with a enormous slice of T&A. Machete Kills for all intents and purposes is an unlabeled comedy. The cartoonish violence, bad scene-chewing acting, and massive cleavage is all perpetrated by Rodriguez and company with tongues firmly in cheeks. And then, of course, there's Machete's habit of referring to himself in the third person ("Machete don't text"). This is a B-movie that revels in its lunacy, and for that , you have to give all involved credit.
So, with that said, I do recommend a movie that many will see as tripe. It's one of those movies that's so bad, it's good. So, drink it in Machete Kills. You have now reached the status of other "bad" classics such as Shoot 'Em Up, the 80's version of Flash Gordon, and your predecessor. Very high praise, indeed!
Until the release of Machete Kills Again...In Space (don't laugh, there was a trailer), this is the Dark Lord signing off.
The Dark Lord of the Sith says:
***1/4 stars
Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit!
2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee.
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
-
Night Swim- Ahhh, a new year and with it brings cinema filled with all sorts of possibilities. We start 2024 with this little Blumhouse h... -
You People- This Netflix Original comically explores race relations through the co-mingling of family. A couple, a Jewish man and an Afri...
