Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Reviews from the Dark Side presents

Star Wars:  The Last Jedi

Released 12/15/17

As this Winter season approaches, it's the time of many things.  Snow, hot cocoa, caroling, good will toward man.  And for the last three years, Disney's annual Star Wars release.  That's right boys and girls.  The "Big Daddy" of  2017 has finally arrived.  

The long-awaited continuation of J.J. Abrams' smashingly successful 2015 release of "The Force Awakens" has been passed to Rian Johnson. Now the question is can Johnson carry the baton and take this next chapter, Episode VIII, to even greater heights in the galaxy far, far away.  It's not like Abrams didn't have his detractors with Episode VII.  We've all heard the criticism that The Force Awakens was just a rehash of A New Hope.  In some ways, that criticism was warranted.  But, as I said back then, the familiarity was necessary to bring us back from what many thought was a large misstep with the prequel trilogy.  But, now that the preliminaries are out of the way, The Last Jedi should be Johnson's opportunity to show us something truly special, a chance to give us a level of Empire Strikes Back type of awesomeness.  

Without giving too much away, Episode VIII continues the monumental struggle of the Resistance opposing the tyrannical rule of Supreme Leader Snoke's First Order.  The gang from Episode VII (minus Han Solo) is back.  Rey (Daisy Ridley) has found Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) doing his best impression of a scruffy hermit hoping he will be able to teach her mastery of her newfound Force abilities.  Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac) remains the confident and somewhat cocky Resistance flying ace who has an aversion to following orders.  Ex-Stormtrooper, Finn (John Boyega), is still trying to find his place within the Resistance.  And, dark apprentice, Kylo Ren (Adam Driver), is still fighting conflicts within himself to become a worthy successor to his grandfather's legacy and remain Snoke's evil hammer of destruction.  

Johnson gives us a few surprises along the way.  New characters and creatures are introduced.  Lightsabers clash.  Spaceships are blown to smithereens.  And, it's Star Wars right?  Just having that franchise name attached should make The Last Jedi a ripping success.  So, why is this the first Star Wars movie that left me with an empty feeling in my heart after first viewing?  And, keep in mind, that I was even excited about The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones upon initial screening.  

One of my biggest issues with this third trilogy to this point is I have no strong feeling for two thirds of the new trio of heroes (Rey, Finn, and Poe).  Seriously, what does Finn really add other serving as a punching bag for every First Order heavy under the sun and giving the occasional Ric Flair-like "Whoo!"  There's nothing I can specifically say I dislike about Poe.  By the same token, there's nothing I can say I really find endearing about him after two films either.  Rey is the only person of interest in this group for me.  And speaking of Rey...

Do we all remember that it was Rey who was on the tips of so many tongues after The Force Awakens?  What was her origin?  Why was she so scary strong in the Force?  Is she connected to Luke Skywalker in some way?  Episode VII left us with a lot of mysteries that I was hoping would start to be unraveled in The Last Jedi.  I guess some of them were, but, it was in a way that I didn't find close to satisfying.  We're still not any closer to knowing the why of her strength.  And, her parentage?  If Kylo Ren can be believed, the truth of her lineage is such a letdown.  There better be something significant coming in Episode IX in 2019.  Honestly, how did Johnson and the other powers that be think this would fly after opening Pandora's Box in Episode VII?  My preference would have been to just leave this part of the story a mystery until Episode IX if this was the decision they he came to.  Given Rey's unusual strength in the Force, her parental revelation actually makes much of The Force Awakens nonsensical.  But, as I was discussing this with a friend, I do realize that following the logic that there really is no concrete explanation for Anakin Skywalker, I can power through this, if needed.  I still feel it's a lame cop-out, but, I can look around, through, under, over, whatever I have to do.  But, oh, if this were the only problem I had...

One of the most fan-anticipated stories we were ready to sink our teeth into  was the full return of Luke Skywalker who, you remember, was seen at the end of The Force Awakens as a reclusive Jedi Master.  There had to be some reason Luke dropped out of the fight, right?  Was he in search of something?  Did he fear his own immense power?  So, many questions.  Regretfully, the answer was a huge disappointment.  Could Luke have been a more morose and pouty ex-hero if he tried?  And  the reason he isolated himself?  Ben Solo goes bad, kills some of his students, and joins the First Order.  You, Mr. Hero of the Rebellion and Jedi Master, respond by saying "Screw it" and you let your nephew wreak havoc on the galaxy?  You leave your sister to fight the good fight alone?  Luke Skywalker essentially wussed out and decided to quit life.  Is that the hero we all remember?  All the murders Kylo committed since he decided to check out are essentially on his head.   He had the power to make a difference and he checked out. This was worse than Yoda deciding to boogey out after facing the Emperor.  Kylo Ren is powerful, but, he's no Palpatine.   And the worst part?  We didn't even get to see him do something truly incredible before...well if you've seen the movie, you know.  And, no, the part on the salt planet doesn't count.  While the scene was cool in and of itself, it was more or less a dream sequence a la the last chapter of Twilight. It also begs the question as to why Luke would even leave a map as to where he retreated to in R2D2 and BB8 if he really truly didn't want anything to do with the galaxy any longer.

And, if I may digress from my main point, I really didn't need to know how Luke got his daily supply of milk.  Just sayin'.

That brings me to our ultimate big bad in this new trilogy.  I'm not sure what to say about this one. It might go down in infamy as one of the biggest nothings in movie history.  Of course, I can only be speaking of the utter triviality that was made of Supreme Leader Snoke.  Tell me why you build up an Emperor Palpatine-type villain only to have him meet an...illogical fate?  For those who still may not know, I won't give his destiny away, but, I think he and Darth Maul should start a club. 

Speaking of baddies, remember that promised expanded role for shiny, chrome-plated Stormtrooper, Captain Phasma (Gwendolyn Christie)?   Not to worry.  If you don't, neither did Rian Johnson.  I'll just leave it there.

As I sat in the theater watching this, I kept waiting for the magic to happen.  Hoping.  Praying to the gods.  Any gods. It would almost get there a couple of times.  I'd say to myself, "Alright, here we go!"  Darn, that was a plot thread went nowhere.  Then, "It's going to start to pull together...now!"  Ooh, that really didn't make much sense, did it?  The Last Jedi just never seemed to find solid footing throughout its two and a half hour run time.  It was a long predator-prey chase scene watching the Resistance slowly getting picked off thanks to the unwitting machinations and actions of Poe and Finn.

In the interest of not being completely negative, there were a few notable scenes in The Last Jedi. I'll start with the fight between Rey, Kylo, and Snoke's Praetorian Guard.  It wasn't a polished fight, but, that was its charm.  It was a brutal ballet of flashing lightsabers and electro-weapons.  There was that "FINALLY" moment experienced with Luke taking AT-AT fire.  It was one of those cool fanboy scenes you were hoping for since "Hermit Luke" made his appearance at the end of Episode VII.   Unfortunately, it was undermined 10 minutes later when the truth was revealed, but, it was very cool in the moment.  And, if you ever wanted to know what solid matter traveling at light speed through other solid matter looks like, well, The Last Jedi has something for you.  The moment is so masterfully framed visually.  It was a great touch to cut the audio for a few moments to just let that event sink in.  

It brings me absolutely no joy writing this.  Sight unseen I believed this was going to be a review where I'd be running out of disgustingly  gushy things to say about how good this movie was.  Part of it may be my fault.  I may have built what I believed this film SHOULD have been to impossible standards in my head.  But, you know what?  I don't apologize.  I expected excellence.  Why shouldn't I?  Why shouldn't you as Star Wars fans?  I know that's not what you get all the time.  The Force Awakens wasn't perfect.  Empire Strikes Back wasn't perfect, but, you can live with imperfection as long as you hit the right chords on several other notes.  Sadly, The Last Jedi doesn't come close.  The Force Awakens opened the door to so many mysteries that we were all so eager to dive into.  What this film delivered was an almost gleeful "gotcha" on all points of interest.  It toyed with us.  That may not have been the intention, but, it's the reality.  It had very little continuity with themes introduced in TFA.

On a macro-level type note, Disney is now 0 for its last 2 in my book.  I gave Thor:  Ragnarok the benefit of the doubt the first time I saw it.  Couldn't do it after seeing it a second time.  I'm going with my gut on this one.  This wasn't good.  I'm almost choking on my words.  I say it with such a heavy heart.  The franchise deserved better.  Rian Johnson will be taking the reigns of the franchise after Episode IX.  But, before that can happen, the Skywalker saga needs to be brought to a satisfying conclusion.  Then, go nuts, good sir.  Take the franchise in whatever direction you want.  What we got was two and a half hours of red herrings.  I can usually deal with one or two disappointments in a film depending on their gravity.  Dealing with four or five is a bridge too far. 

If it means anything to anyone, J.J.Abrams is coming back to direct Episode IX.  J.J.?  You have a lot to clean up, dude.

And, by the by, can someone please tell me how non-Jedi Leia didn't asphyxiate or freeze to death after getting blown out of a starship without a suit?  Well, at least she had enough presence of mind the void to tow herself into another ship with the Force looking like spacefaring Mary Poppins.  Hey...

She's Mary Poppins, y'all!

The Dark Lord of the Sith says:

**3/4 stars

Ratings Legend*= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit!
2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Worth a look.  Better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. I'm doing my happy dance!
5 *= Pure eye candy. I have seen the top of the mountain, and it is good