You People- This Netflix Original comically explores race relations through the co-mingling of family. A couple, a Jewish man and an African American Muslim woman, must navigate the minefield of not so much the outside world, but their own wacky families. Between a well-meaning mom on one side who always seems to say and do the wrong thing and a very militant dad on the other who openly wants to sabotage the relationship can Ezra and Amira ever find true happiness together? You People definitely discusses the pitfalls that can be associated with interracial coupling but for me it forgets one important factor several times during its run. It's supposed to be a comedy. Some scenes I'm assuming are meant to be comical really don't land. It's just continually slapping you in the face with how different these families are. There are times the film feels very contrived. You get the usual rom-com breakup for no apparent reason. It's particularly frustrating here because Ezra and Amira know what their main obstacle is. I understand they both love their parents, but when they should be focusing and clinging to each other their solution is to break up? Anyhow, this movie isn't the comic blast I believe it could have been and gets bogged down in our differences more than the things that can and should bring us together. Plus, Eddie Murphy could have been absolutely hilarious in this role if he was allowed to be Eddie Murphy. He has a few zingers but he really seems to be a tame version of himself in this. In addition to Murphy, Jonah Hill, Laurne London, David Duchovny, Nia Long, and Julia Louis-Dreyfuss co-star.
**1/2 stars
Knock at the Cabin- Well one thing you know about this M. Night Shyamalan feature right out of the gate. It's going to be hit or miss. There is very little in between for this director. And his latest feature is bound to split audiences yet again as he plays around with the concept of the apocalypse. A couple and their child are held "captive" by four strangers in their vacation cabin. The strangers' motive is to convince the family to sacrifice one of their own to save humanity. Every time the family refuses another catastrophe affects the world. Or does it? Are these strangers con men? Are they homophobes getting kicks tormenting a gay couple? Are they something a little more...biblical? As with most Shyamalan features, you're never quite sure what the answer is until the climax. He throws his usual red herrings, misdirections, and twists at the audience. I can't say I was disappointed with the film as I have been with some of the director's other features. In fact, I did enjoy the story. To a point. I was still left with several questions at the end. Shyamalan wants you to take a leap in logic or two. Overall, I liked what I saw onscreen but Knock at the Cabin still doesn't rank as one of the director's best. However, it is far from his worst. Dave Bautista stars and gives a subtle, but great performance. He's by far the best part of this film.
***1/4 stars
Infinity Pool- Brandon Cronenberg, son of legendary sci-fi/horror director David Cronenberg, directs his very own sci-fi/horror thriller. And, like his father, he seems to have a penchant for the weird. A struggling writer and his wife vacationing in a seaside country are befriended by a couple who are fans of the writer's work. On one drunken night, tragedy occurs, and the writer faces capital punishment in a foreign land. Unless...he pays an exorbitant fee to subject himself to a process that can remove him from the difficult situation he's in. From here, his life spirals out of control as he discovers he's not alone in this bizarre experience. Drunken orgies, murder, mayhem and the like make this a vacation the writer isn't likely to forget. If he survives. The problem I had with Infinity Pool is that I had to read a synopsis of it to follow along. It's that strange and abstract through most of its run. You really feel as if you're in a fever dream. But, one the positive side, I can't say I was bored by it. Confused, yes. But not bored. The ending? Just as strange as the rest of the film. I'm not sure if I can call it good or bad. It is what it is I suppose. It's not a must see but it is something I would recommend you experience. Alexander Skaarsgard and Mia Goth star.
*** stars
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania- Phase 5 of the MCU begins with the third chapter of what I believe is the most underrated franchise in this large, vaunted universe. The previous Ant-Man movies have been tangentially connected to greater storyline. This time, they gave director, Peyton Reed, the opening salvo to the follow up of the Infinity Stone/Thanos epic. Our diminutive hero, Scott Lang, is living the good life in the aftermath of Thanos's defeat. He's famous, a best-selling author, dating a beautiful superhero/mogul/philanthropist, and has a solid family unit. Things couldn't be better, right? Well, he's a superhero so you know that won't last. Thanks to the machinations of his daughter, Cassie, with the aid of his mentor, Hank Pym, Scott and his family (Cassie, Hank, Janet, and Hope) are sucked into the mysterious subatomic Quantum realm, the universe that held Janet prisoner for 30 years. There's a grave danger awaiting them there. A traveler. A brilliant and powerful one whom Janet encountered in her previous stay. One who she betrayed. One who needs Scott to retrieve something Janet took from him. One who might be the destroyer of all that is if he's allowed to escape the Quantum realm. There have been a lot of mixed reactions to this film thus far. One, while it does have comedic moments (like all MCU films), this doesn't play as a comedy as much as the previous films. That's a good thing. The stakes are high. Frivolity should be kept to a minimum. I dare say, I would have enjoyed Ragnarok much more if it followed Quantomania's path a little more. Two, a lot has been made about Hope Van Dyne's story or her lack of it in this one. I concede she didn't have the meatiest part in Quantumania. But it really wasn't her story, so she didn't have to be the primary focus. Or the secondary for that matter. No. The star of this whole exercise and the purpose of Quantumania was to introduce the next big bad of the MCU, Kang. And, for me, the film is a roaring success for this alone. Kang is a different type of villain than Thanos who presents a myriad of different problems for the heroes of the MCU. For one, how do you truly defeat a master of time? We learn here as we did at the end of the Loki Disney+ series that there are an infinite number of the man known as "He Who Remains", Kang, and whatever other names his variants have given themselves. Each one we have encountered thus far has given the indication that there are variants worse than they are despite how manipulatively eccentric (He Who Remains) or destructively power mad (Kang) they are. So, there is the next great dilemma for the heroes of the MCU. More than half the film is shot on green screen, but the effects in the Quantum realm are spectacular. It's all weird and strange but it looks like all the objects are supposed to be there and none of it looks cheesy. In fact, most of the beings we encounter in the realm might make you reminisce about the creature cantinas of Star Wars or the bold new worlds of Star Trek. But after all is said the true standout here is Jonathan Majors as Kang. He's menacing as can be but yet also is still somewhat sympathetic because he may indeed be telling the truth about being the victim of his other variants. There is a mid-credit and end credit scene that break Marvel's usual norm. Usually one scene is relevant and the other is done for comedic effect. Both contribute to the greater Kang narrative going forward. Paul Rudd reprises his role as Scott Lang/Ant-Man. Gone are his trio of sometimes criminal comedic cohorts from the previous chapters. Evangeline Lilly, Michael Douglas, and Michelle Pfeiffer return as Hope Van Dyne, Hank Pym, and Janet Van Dyne. Bill Murray makes a cameo appearance that's amusing but nothing to write home about. However, there are two uncredited cameos in the end credit scene that are significant from...ahhhhh, that would be telling.
**** stars
Scream VI- The sixth installment of the popular slasher franchise changes venues from Woodsboro to the Big Apple. The Carpenter sisters (Sam and Tara) along with their friends, siblings Mindy and Chad, are trying to leave the nightmare of Woodsboro behind from the year prior (Scream 5). Things aren't going so well as Sam has become the subject of public scrutiny as the cause of the last year's Woodsboro mayhem. Not only that, but a new brutal Ghostface killer is on the loose in the big city that has the Carpenters and all their associates in his/her sights. The highlight of Scream VI is its visceral brutality. Horror fans should appreciate that along with the usual suspense and dark comedy this series brings to bear. And, oh, this movie is so very brutal. You as the spectator might physically hurt after witnessing some of these kills. Now VI isn't all sunshine and rainbows. For me, the film sometimes stretches the limits of my suspension of disbelief. Although there's an impressive enough body count, far more characters should have died under the harsh attacks depicted. Some characters' actions don't make a great deal of sense given the situation at a particular moment. It's almost as if the makers lost their nerve and couldn't pull the trigger to eliminate certain characters. This is particularly true of one character. It's these particulars from saying the movie is spectacular. However, the brutality and the dynamic between the Carpenters (who have a darkness all their own) do make this a very good movie. That's another thing I've always admired about the Scream series. The "final girls" are fairly badass. From Neve Campbell's Sydney Prescott (not featured in VI) to the Carpenter sisters. These women are not victims. They fight back with a fierceness of...a serial killer? Hmmm. Maybe that's for Scream VII. Melissa Barrera, Jenna Ortega, Hayden Panettiere, Dermot Mulroney, and Courtney Cox star.
**** stars
John Wick Chapter 4- The fourth chapter of the hit action franchise picks up some unspecified time after chapter three. Our titular assassin/hero, John Wick, has recovered from his injuries in secrecy under the cloak of the Bowery King. John has one goal and one goal only. Destroy the High Table that has placed a multi-million-dollar price on his head. And old JW is going to solve his problem in typical Baba Yaga fashion. There really is no need to delve further into the plot is there? A lot of guns, a lot of bullets, and a lot of dead bodies. The film is bombastic. It's crazy. No, crazy isn't the correct word. This movie is psychotic. It was exhausting. John Wick's universe was never based in any type of realism and they have successively become more fantastical as the franchise has progressed. With chapter four, I can safely say the franchise has entered deep into Fast and Furious style implausibility. Honestly, JW should have rightfully died at least 30 times. I don't think I've done more eyerolls in my life. This film is filled with ridiculousness. So, all that said, I hated JW4, right? Then tell me why I had the biggest smile on my face in the whole theater? The lunacy of the kills and just the action itself had me in as much amusement as it did awe. And this movie has a metric ton of shock and awe. With a runtime of about 170 minutes, I didn't really feel it. I was having such a good time. JW4 is a completely over-the-top actioner that never takes its foot off the gas. That is a feat in and of itself considering its length. Director Chad Stahelski who has been at the helm of every film in the series invents new innovative ways to frame a scene. The best scene of the movie is the POV vantage point from the ceiling of a wild gun fight featuring the use of an armor-piercing rifle. The thing I admire about this franchise is that every fight has something unique to offer. As far as finality, is this the last we've seen of Mr. Wick? Hard to say. This could plausibly be taken in either direction. Plausible for JW is relative of course. I don't believe this has ever happened in the franchise prior to chapter 4 but stick around for a post credit scene. It doesn't answer the question of whether the franchise is destined for continuation, but it is relevant to the events of the film. JW4 is a bang-up time for three hours of your life. If total Gun-Fu carnage is your idea of fun. Regulars Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Ian McShane, and Lance Reddick (in one of his final roles) return. A killer cast of newcomers (Donnie Yen, Bill Skarsgard, and Hiroyuki Sanada) round out the mayhem.
**** stars
***1/4 stars
Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves- A former spy. A barbarian. An inept wizard. A druid. This ragtag team of "heroes" is all that stands against an evil red wizard reigning darkness on the fantasy world of Dungeons and Dragons. Nonstop shenanigans, spectacular imagery and an owl-bear (?) create more than two hours of pure fun that I haven't experienced in a fantasy film for a time now. There's always something happening. It's a genuinely funny movie. It works on most levels. The only thing I didn't quite buy was how easily the spy's daughter is manipulated by her "uncle." It felt like what it was. A convenient plot device to artificially push the story in a certain direction. This review is going to be a bit lighter than most of my other reviews. Not much more to say other than I had a lot of fun with this one. Chris Pine, Michelle Rodriguez and Hugh Grant star.
**** stars
Creed III- This third installment in the Creed franchise and ninth in the "Rocky-verse" is directed by its star, Michael B. Jordan. It finds the titular character, Adonis Creed, in blissful retirement from his highly successful professional boxing career. That is until a ghost from his past comes back into his life. Damien Anderson shares a complicated history with Adonis. One where Adonis feels obligated to lift Damien, a former Golden Gloves contender himself, up through the ranks of professional boxing. It's a decision he will learn to regret when Damien turns opportunity into gold and then into vendetta. This is a story where the "villain" doesn't always feel like one. As the history unfolds between Adonis and Damien, you know exactly why Damien feels the way he does and why he takes certain actions. He gave up much when he was on the cusp of greatness and he wants that glory back. And while I like this film very much (a much better outing than Creed II in my opinion), the life of a fictional boxer only has so much shelf life before it becomes repetitive. I understand Rockys III and IV are considered classics in their own right. However, I still believe the Rocky franchise could and should have ended after Rocky II. At least no later than III and IV was pushing it to ludicrous heights. I talk about all this to say that despite Jordan indicating he would maybe be open to another go round, the Creed franchise could and should logically end here. This is a very emotionally charged, well-scripted outing. Leave on a high note because there's really no where left to go. Creed has already repeated Rocky in several instances. Speaking of Mr. Balboa, he is nowhere to be found in Creed III. I know there was some Hollywood drama behind that decision. However, the character wasn't really needed given the central story being so personal for Adonis. Unless you're big on nostalgia, you won't really notice he's not there. In addition to Jordan, Jonath Majors and Tessa Thompson co-star.
***1/2 stars
Cocaine Bear- With a name as silly as this, you know you're in trouble, right? Directed by Elizabeth Banks, this horror comedy is loosely based on true events. When a drug smuggler dumps a considerable amount of cocaine from an airplane (and dies in the process of trying to jump with it), a ludicrous chain of events begins when an American black bear finds and consumes part of the drop. This super-high bear becomes aggressive (and sometimes amorous) to the max which spells doom for most who enter its forest. That includes career criminals who enter attempted to retrieve what might be left of drug. This film is exactly what it sounds like. A b-level (maybe c) horror movie. It's supremely ridiculous. It's not a good movie by any stretch of the imagination. But, I may hate myself later for saying this, it was entertaining to a degree. It's one of those uber-bad movies you love to ridicule as you watch it. And I couldn't help but laugh parts of it. Listen, I can't actually recommend this movie, but I can't completely trash it either. As a horror movie, it can be fairly gruesome. As a comedy, its absurdity mildly amusing. Despite the negativity you may hear, if you go into this one with the proper mindset of just accepting it for what it is, like me, you might find some value in the 95 minutes you spend with it. Keri Russell, O'Shea Jackson Jr, Alden Ehrenreich, Margo Martindale, and Ray Liotta (I believe in his final role) star.
**3/4 stars
Plane- As I was watching this, Plane felt like a return to no frills action movies of the past. It's a very straightforward story with decent action sequences and unlikely heroes rising above their horrific dilemma. On a commercial flight to Honolulu, an airplane taking a shortcut through the South China Sea is heavily damaged by lightning. Forced to land on a Rebel-controlled island in the Philippines, pilot Brodie Torrance forms an unlikely team with prisoner, Louis Gaspare, who was being transported back to Canada. The two ex-military men are drafted into rescuing the surviving passengers from a group of rebels who intend to hold them for ransom. Credit to this film for amping up some brutality with a sledgehammer. It's an entertaining sit through. I don't think it'll have anyone on pins and needles. Like I said, it feels like a bit of a throwback. That's not a bad thing at all. It's a solid actioner. Gerard Butler and Mike Colter co-star.
***1/4 stars
Renfield- With the dozens of iterations of Dracula on film, it's rather difficult to find a new angle to tell the vampire lord's story. Renfield is a very unique take on Bram Stoker's classic horror tale told from the point of view of Dracula's familiar, the bug-eating sycophant, Renfield. Loosely following the duo's history from their fateful first meeting in Europe to their modern-day residence in New Orleans, Dracula's loyal servant is experiencing a crisis. He wants more out of life than his endless servitude to his cruel master. In that pursuit he's frequenting an emotional support group for people in abusive relationships. In a comical chain of events, he becomes entangled with police, gangsters, and feds all while trying to pull away from his master permanently. Renfield is a mix of whacky comedy and gruesome horror. Or, rather, gruesome over-the-top gore. The funny thing is, the gore was more than I expected, but it wasn't as insanely hilarious as expected. It was funny. The grizzly nature of some of the scenes ironically added to that aspect of it. And, let's address the obvious. The film gave Nicolas Cage ample opportunities to chew the scenery as the bloodthirsty Count. The portrayal of Renfield as a bug-devouring superpowered terminator was a strange and wonderful plot twist. The one thing I found slightly awkward at times was the gangster story running concurrently with the horror. It didn't always fit. It felt like that part of the story existed just to add to the body count. Outside of that, Cage and the self-help aspect are worth the price of admission. Nicholas Hoult stars as the titular bug eater. Awkwafina co-stars.
***3/4 stars
The Pope's Exorcist- Based on Father Gabriele Amorth's memoirs, this horror film follows the priest's entanglement with a 1987 demon possession plaguing an American family living in Spain. Father Amorth is the top exorcist within the Catholic Church appointed so by the Pope himself. The demon, an extremely powerful lord of Hell, wants to revive an old plot dating back to the Spanish Inquisition. Father Amorth might be in over his head particularly if he can't reconcile his own demons. This is one of the better possession films I've seen in recent years. And unique in the sense that the demon actually has a plan outside of just corrupting an innocent. This almost reminded me of the Da Vinci Code with evil possession. It also takes on almost a superhero quality at times as the priests definitely take on the heroic posture with crucifixes in hand. Very Hollywood by the way. As with most possession movies, the possessed also take on some comedic qualities with the outrageous dialogue. Or maybe it's more disturbing. You haven't lived I guess until you've seen a young boy asking to be fed while grabbing his mother's breast. I'm not exaggerating. If religious horror is your thing, This is one where you won't go wrong. Russell Crowe stars.
***1/2 stars
Evil Dead Rise- This fifth installment of the cult-favorite horror franchise is co-produced by the two names that have become faces of these demonic gorefests, Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell. Director Lee Cronin has taken the set up from the franchise's usual out of the way cabin in the woods setting to an urban apartment building setting. In a fight for survival unlike any other, a young guitar technician must survive a grueling murderous night after a demonic book is recovered from an earthquake. When incantations are read aloud, the tech's sister is possessed by the dreaded Deadites we've come to know and love in this series. And possessed sis is determined to murder any and everyone in the building. Including her own children. The standout of this chapter is that, while it doesn't have the same sense of humor as the classic first three chapters, it still has a less playful sardonic humor about it. It's funny without being campy funny. But this is by no means a comedy. It has a great sense of loss intertwined with the humor. And no Evil Dead film would be complete without scores of blood and gore. You wonder how the human body has so much. This aspect of the film, like the others, is completely over the top. If you're familiar with the franchise, you'll recognize the touches Raimi and Campbell have in it, some shouts out to the past if you will. But at the same time, Evil Dead Rise is very much its own unique thing. And I would be remiss without pointing you in the direction of Alyssa Sutherland who is the possessed "Ellie Baker." Her dialogue is so outlandish and mannerisms so off-putting that you truly feel she has made this apartment building has become a wonderland of torment. Horror fans should love this movie. It's just plain fun to watch. If bloodletting is your thing that is. Lilly Sullivan co-stars.
**** stars
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3- It's the end of an era. Sort of. Arguably the biggest underdog series of the MCU closes the book with director James Gunn's third installment featuring the ragtag band of unlikely space heroes. Taking place some unspecified time after Thor: Love and Thunder, the Guardians have comfortably settled into their role as the protectors of Knowwhere. Most are content with the exception of Star-Lord who is still pining for his lost love, Gamora, and equally frustrated that the time displaced Gamora currently in this timeline can't stand him. When a golden "Superman" created by Guardian enemies, The Sovereign, attacks, one Guardian is gravely injured forcing the others to embark on a life-or-death mission to save their friend. However, the source of their friend's salvation is a megalomaniacal scientist who wants to re-populate the universe with his Frankenstein-esqe creations. First, Guardians 3 exists very much in its own universe. There is absolutely no connection to the larger Kang storyline which, for me, worked as one of its strengths. Gunn wasn't pigeonholed into making the film fit neatly (or awkwardly) into a greater narrative, and he could weave his own tale with these characters he helped put on the map almost ten years ago. As much as Guardians 2 was Star-Lord's story, volume 3 belongs to Rocket. His origin story is heartfelt and tragic. It might make you tear up a couple of times and sympathize with the sarcastic little "trash panda" in ways you never have before. It also gives you the sense that Rocket may arguably be the smartest character we've encountered so far in the MCU. Much like the Ant-Man franchise, Guardians has very much been an action-comedy series. Volume 3 is no different but there felt like there was more gravity to this than the previous two. Gunn was able to make the movie funny but not let the comedy overwhelm scenes that had darker elements. And there was a fair amount of gloom injected into this little space opera. There's no shortage of excitement in the action scenes, particularly with one featuring all the Guardians fighting in tandem showcasing each member's unique style of combat. That's another strength of Gunn's throughout the entire three-part saga. You never got the sense that any character on the team was shorted. It's a testament to great writing and directing. Were there weaknesses? Yes, I do have a couple of nitpicks. The High Evolutionary was a great villain at times. He was very frightening when he was calm and almost dismissive of people and his surroundings. Like he was master of all he surveyed. He kind of became a generic "villain of the week" when he was manic and agitated. I just didn't get a great vibe from him when he was in those states. Now, this next nitpick will either not be a great deal to some of you, or, if you're a purist, will irritate you to no end. It will probably depend on how much of a fan you are of this character from the comics. Adam Warlock is a little strange in this one. He's represented as an extremely powerful childlike buffoon at times. Maybe buffoon is too strong of a word. Let's say naive to be kind. He's a far cry from the sophisticated warrior who has faced down Thanos more than once in the comics. I was able to get past it because I have never been that emotionally tied to the character myself. But I would understand how a true fan of the comic Warlock might feel he got the "Thor" treatment. Overall, Guardians 3 is a fitting and emotional sendoff for Gunn and this iteration of the team. I won't go into who survives and who doesn't except to say there is definitely room for a Guardians team to return under another director's guidance if Kevin Feige and Disney choose to have the franchise return. And, as with any MCU fim, stay for the credits. There's a mid-credit scene that speaks to my last statement about the team. The end credit scene really isn't that fascinating until it fades to the white screen indicating who will make a return in the future. The main cast from the first two chapters return. Notable newcomers are Chukwudi Iwuji as the High Evolutionary and Will Poulter as Adam Warlock. Even Nathan Fillion gets in on the act as an exasperated space security guard. You'll know the reason for his exasperation soon enough when he appears.
****1/4 stars
Shazam!: Fury of the Gods- The sequel to the 2019 film that I knew would get one but didn't think deserved one. I didn't hate first Shazam. It was a cute family friendly superhero action movie. Harmless and not warranting the great word of mouth it received. I didn't need to go down this road again. Picking up two years after the events of Shazam, Billy Batson and his family of foster siblings have settled in awkwardly as six magically superpowered protectors of Philadelphia. Meaning well, most of their superheroics tend to have a good amount of bungling associated with them as would befit children dabbling in an adult arena. But the six will have to grow up very quickly as the Daughters of Atlas have captured the broken staff of the Wizard who bestowed the power of the gods to Batson. They wish to steal the power of the entire "Shazamily" to restore their own godly realm. Although at least one sister might have loftier, more nefarious goals. Now, I fully admit these Shazam movies are not made for me. But I will say I enjoyed Fury of the Gods a bit more than I did the original. I smiled a little more. I was engaged more with the story. Marginally, but I was more into this one. Admittedly, this is my own personal thing but I still can't get past how goofy the Shazam super suit is on Zachary Levi. That's just a marriage that hasn't worked for me from the beginning. Like the first installment, the story is heartfelt. The effects are decent to good. It's an entertaining enough movie. But, also like the first, it's a one and done watch. There is a mid-credit scene that's here for a few chuckles and as sort of an epilogue. The end credits scene brings back a familiar face which I'm guessing might be more of a factor if the franchise continues in its current iteration. There is one guest appearance that should excite fans of the greater DCEU. Much of the cast of the 2019 film return. The most notable cast additions are Helen Mirren and Lucy Liu as the Daughters of Atlas.
***1/4 stars
Sisu- This might be the most barebones film of 2023. In 1944 Finland, during the final throes of World War II, an old prospector, Aatami Korpi, has struck gold in the remote wastelands of Lapland. It should be the best day of his life. It would be if not for an encounter with a retreating Nazi battalion that was fighting the USSR from Finland's northeastern border. When they discover the old man has gold, they set off a chain of events that unleashes a terror and fury they weren't remotely prepared for. Very simply, Sisu is a revenge movie. It's way over-the-top violent, ridiculously so in a current John Wick kind of way. The story is told in chapters (7 I believe) which might make you think this is a bit lengthy. That couldn't be farther from the truth. Clocking in at a little over 90 minutes, the pacing is brisk. It tells its twisted tale with no frills. Sisu may not be for everyone, but, if you like your death straightforward and bloody as hell, it can be a lot of fun. And, as ludicrous as it was at times, I was thoroughly entertained by it. This is an underrated sleeper you should give a look.
***3/4 stars
The Machine- Loosely based on comedian Bert Kreischer's life, this is a raunchy comedy with no shortage of juvenile humor. Bert Kreischer is a stand-up comic success. His most popular skit is a college story in which he became a legendary partier. On field trip to Russia, he performed one criminal act that made him famous in the country. Or infamous to some. Bert claims everything about his time in Russia is true. Most believe him. Or, at the very least, humor him. His family, including his sarcastic dad? Not so much. That is, until his past finds him and forces him back to Russia. And just his rotten luck his dad is along for the trip. To get out of this fix, Kreischer might just have to revive...The Machine! I didn't know anything about Kreischer himself before this movie. He's loud, obnoxious, and somewhat gross. This type of humor is hit and miss with me. Kreischer is amusing. The most hilarious moments though involve other people, especially his father. I might be biased there but the crotchety old man schtick is worth a sit through. It's by far the best part of the film. Mark Hamill co-stars as Kreischer's forever disapproving father.
***1/2 stars
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse- A sequel five years in the making, Across the Spider-Verse continues the animated adventures of Miles Morales, and, to some degree, Gwen Stacy. After a sizable banger of an opening, we find teenage Miles doing what all good Spider-Men do. Trying to navigate life between normalcy and superheroing and often struggling with both. But, overall, life isn't bad for Miles aside from missing his friend, Gwen, who is back in her own universe. Until she's suddenly in Miles' universe again. Gwen is on a mission that will entangle not only Miles, but every spider-person in the multiverse. Across the Spider-Verse is a dynamic film in multiple ways. The action is plentiful but not what I would call non-stop. There is plenty of room for storytelling in its well over two-hour runtime. There is a satisfying mix of family drama and humor with neither overpowering the other or feeling out of place. The animation is...strange. But not in a bad way. It has its own eclectic style that just sort of fits the movie's vibe. It's a fun adventure with more than a few dark threads that should satisfy a number of diverse audiences depending on what you're looking for. There are also some terrific Easter Eggs that were cleverly woven in that will make comic fans geek out hard. The main villain is one that probably only hardcore comic fans know and probably only hardcore Spider-Man fans at that. The film does a brilliant job of making this C-level villain relevant. As much as the film deserves praise, there were two items that didn't thrill me. One, I realize this is mostly about Miles, and to a lesser degree, Gwen, but O.G. Spider-Man, Peter Parker was a bit "nerfed" in my opinion. From his first appearance onscreen, you'll see he's not meant to be taken very seriously. I don't have a problem with Peter being a secondary character but don't put him in the mix just to be a clown. Plus, I didn't buy into him going along with certain ideals espoused in the plot. He is and always has been a deeply moral character almost to a fault and his falling in line with a certain mindset felt a bit odd. Peter started all this back in 1962. He deserves better. Second, there is a "Jess Drew" in this movie. Now if, like me, you were hoping this was "Jessica" Drew from the comic end of the Marvel Universe, you may be a trifle disappointed. I'm sure the usual internet trolls have a lot to say about the appearance of "Jess Drew." I understand the disappointment but not for the reasons that will likely come to light on the internet. My sadness comes from the fact that this is a movie about the multiverse. There should be multiple versions of Jessica Drew out there. Why not reward the fans of Jessica Drew with an appearance in the film? You could still have "Jess" and have her stay the relevant supporting character she is. Again, it's a bit of disrespect to an established older character. I'm not sure why this was done outside of possibly the reason being why certain Spider-Man characters had to be changed for the MCU. If this is the case, I understand. If not, it was a strange decision even to the point of giving "Jess" one of "Jessica's" major storylines as a side note. No mid or end credit scenes with this one. However, it does end on a cliffhanger. I don't think that's giving away the farm. Doesn't everyone know Beyond the Spider-Verse is coming in 2024? Well, if that was a spoiler, my apologies. I thought Into the Spider-Verse was good but a tad overrated. I think this one is a bit overrated as well, but still a better movie than the first. I won't say it's a must see but it is one you should see. The voice talents of Shameik Moore, Hailee Steinfeld, Brian Tyree Henry, Lauren Velez, Jake Johnson, Jason Schwartzman, Issa Rae, Daniel Kaluuya, and Oscar Isaac are featured.
***3/4 stars
The Blackening- This horror comedy takes a unique approach to the horror genre. It examines the roles African American characters play in these films including the main trope of "the black guy always dies first." A group of former college friends come together at a remote cabin in the woods for a weekend of reunion, getting wasted, and Spades playing. They are shortly coaxed into playing a game where multiple questions regarding African American history and culture must be answered correctly for their own survival and to answer the age-old question, "Who is the 'blackest' among them?' Now this film could have very easily devolved into something obnoxious and offensive. And it still may for some. But I found it to be cleverly written poking fun at the many contrivances foisted upon black characters not only in horror, but movies in general. Some hit you square in the face. Some are more subtle. One of my personal favorites in the film was a brief focus on the proper holding of a gun. There is very brief political commentary some may not appreciate. However, if you enjoy farces, this is one of the better ones in recent years. In fact, I might place it almost on a level with "I'm Gonna Git You Sucka!" as a movie poking fun at ethnic tropes. If you have the ability to laugh at a lampoon of certain stereotypes, you should have a good time with this one. I haven't always been a fan of director Tim Story's work but this is a gem.
***3/4 stars
The Flash- This movie has been through a ton since it was first announced several years ago. Rewrites, reshoots, a bizarre leading man with even weirder behavior. It's surprising this film was ever made. But here we are. And we got a fairly acclaimed director in Andy Muschietti to steer the ship. So, how bad could it really be? We start out with a rousing adventure in Gotham City where "Batfleck" calls upon his young friend/colleague, Barry Allen, for assistance as the Scarlet Speedster known as The Flash. Becoming despondent after this crisis and traveling back to his old family home to reminisce, Barry discovers he can use the Speed Force to travel through time giving him the inspiration to travel back for the purpose of saving his parents from their terrible fates. Warned by Bruce Wayne against altering the timeline with such action, the emotional tug proves too great for Barry and he travels through time to alter history. When a mysterious figure knocks him out of the Speed Force into 2013 on his way back to the present, Barry finds he has indeed succeeded in altering his parents' fates. However, other events in his history have gone horribly wrong including confronting a past version of himself that has yet to become the Flash. But, of course he has his Justice League allies to rely on, right? Yes and no. What few allies he might be able to find might not be the same as he remembers them. While I honestly would have rather seen an actual rendition of the "Flashpoint" storyline onscreen, this altered version isn't terrible. It's a better alteration in my opinion than the MCU did with Ragnarok. I give it credit for not making time travel as convoluted as so many other films have done. The Flash is cameo central. A who's who of guest appearances by actors from previous DC films (and not necessarily limited to the DCEU). Overall, I think the movie was fun and worth a look. Mostly. However, there are some major issues here, too. First and foremost, it's never a good scenario when your main character is the least riveting part of the production. I've never been a fan of Ezra Miller's neurotic itchy-twitchiness as Barry Allen/Flash from his first appearance in Justice League. And I really wasn't a fan of getting a double dose of him playing the younger, goofy, hardheaded version of himself complete with his annoying laugh. The film didn't pick up for me until a certain Dark Knight we all know and love entered the fray. He stole the show for me. Supergirl was fine. I was good with Zod. Whenever my attention would wane, it was always when Barry was on the screen in some capacity. Another item that was a problem was the CGI. Now I don't know how many of you have already heard about the "baby scene" but it was as bad as people said it was. You can totally tell it was done on a green screen and the actual babies look like dolls. Maybe something like this could pass in the early 2000s. Not in 2023. Technology is too good now to excuse this. The 20th Century Fox X-Men films executed scenes like this with Quicksilver much better. Another item that I know is going to sound like a nitpick (which it is) is something that has bothered me since Barry's first appearance in JL. Why does he run this way? Do the powers that be realize that most people don't run with their arms in large sweeping motions? What's up with that? I mentioned the myriad of cameos and Easter Eggs in The Flash. Cameos that go very old school. So, I found it a little odd that we did get a Jay Garrick Flash appearance from the CW Flash TV series. But what about the main star? Unless I missed, I did not see Grant Gustin at all when Barry was running through the timeline. Not even a John Wesley Shipp sighting. I fould that a little strange particularly after we had a Superman sighting here that never came to pass on film. The movie ends on a crazy note that would be worth pursuing in upcoming movies if not for one thing. This Barry Allen/Flash is part of the Snyderverse. Warner Brothers has all but said this universe is kaput so I'm not sure why they decided to end on this note. I don't believe James Gunn is picking up this plot thread. It's just a very strange way for the Snyderverse to end if this is indeed the end. The Flash is an entertaining film. But, it has very little rewatch value for me. Parts are sad and heartfelt, but the weaknesses overtake the overall narrative at certain points. So, while I recommend a sit down with it once, I don't know how much you'll want to experience it again. Michael Keaton, Sasha Calle, and Michael Shannon co-star. I'll let all of you experience the cameos for yourselves. One last note. Stick around for an end credits scene featuring Barry and...that would be telling.
***1/4 stars
The Wrath of Becky- In the sequel to 2020's cult horror favorite, "Becky", we find our mental teen heroine a few years older (16 to be exact) having run away from several foster homes and now clandestinely living with an older woman who picked her up hitchhiking. Working at a local diner, she has an unpleasant encounter with three men who are part of a nationalist terrorist group calling themselves the Noblemen. Well, these "poor" souls poke the bear and commit a heinous act toward the teenager not for one millisecond realizing who they are dealing with. Until it's too late. The love between a girl and her dog. What can I tell you? This is the type of movie I love. Simple. Succinct. No frills. It doesn't try to be anything more than what it is. A horror/thriller/slasher revenge porn film with dark comedic elements. Simple, yet effective. Now given today's charged political climate, there are those who might take issue with the fact there is a certain type of villain in both the 2020 movie and the sequel. I will say if anyone does take issue it's more a reflection on the viewer than it is the film trying to make a political statement. Am I making a value judgement? Probably. But this movie is straightforward and fun. If bloody violence is your idea of fun. Lulu Wilson and Seann William Scott star.
**** stars
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts- The second film from the post Michael Bay Universe finds the heroic Autobots trapped on Earth seven years after the events of Bumblebee. For this chapter, leader Optimus Prime and his small squad of robotic warriors are in hot pursuit of the Timewarp Key, an ancient device that can take them back to their homeworld of Cybertron. The Key was brought to Earth centuries ago by a small contingent of metallic beast-like warriors called the Maximals who had to flee their former homeworld to escape the god-planet, Unicron. With Unicron's sinister Terrorcon agents landing on Earth, Autobot and Maximal alike must unite to protect the cosmos. While I am grateful for the return of the classic Generation 1 look, particularly a return to Optimus Prime's more traditional appearance, the plot of Rise of the Beasts is sorely lacking. It gets off to a promising start but then, as with most movies of this nature, human drama gets in the way when all you really want to see is a kaiju bloodbath. There are really only two main human characters in the film, so it's not as bad as it could have been. But neither was interesting. I cared nothing about their backgrounds. They both felt like little more than props. Speaking of backgrounds, I think what I was missing the most in this film was the lore. They do briefly explain why the Timewarp Key is important to Unicron but I still felt it was important because the plot said it was. I didn't feel it. This was definitely no Infinity Gauntlet. It wasn't even a Boom Tube. It felt like a contrivance. Just an item to get the various factions to fight. I guess what I'm trying to say is the conflict over this key didn't feel earned. What I was also missing was a solid backstory for the Maximals. Now I understand that most people who come into this probably have an understanding of who the this group is from certain cartoon series. I might be showing my age here but I'm really only familiar with the Gen 1 Transformers. A little background into how they're related to Cybertron and the Autobots would have helped me a great deal. Why weren't they on Cybertron when Unicron found them? While they were dynamic in appearance, I didn't care about them at all. And if you're looking for the traditional Autobot/Decepticon feud, you'll be sadly disappointed. Not a 'Con to be found here. You all know I'm not one to usually advocate for something like this but I think the movie would have been better served with a greater runtime to flesh out the story. And I'm not quite sure how I feel about this yet, but there is some hinting of a possible crossover with another popular toy franchise from the 80s. You likely won't need three guesses to figure this one out. I say make a dynamite Transformers movie first before you take on the task of merging two franchises. On a positive note, I did like seeing an edgier Optimus Prime. Does it compensate for the weaknesses? No, but it was nice seeing Prime be a little more bloodthirsty than usual. Rise of the Beasts isn't a terrible movie. It is one that I believe would have been better served to "bake in the oven" a little longer to convey a more complete story.
**3/4 stars
The Super Mario Bros. Movie- I know this one is going to pull at the nostalgia heartstrings for a lot of adults. You know the premise. Italian-American brothers, Mario and Luigi, are sucked into another world, Mario to the Mushroom Kingdom and Luigi to the Dark Lands. The Dark Lands ruler, Bowser, has a plan to conquer the Mushroom Kingdom and win the hand of that land's ruler, Princess Peach, who he's madly in love with. But never fear. The brothers are coming to the rescue. That is if they don't die at the hands of the Kongs or various other sketchy things they happen to run into. Confession. The only game in the Mario-verse I've ever played is Donkey Kong. So, I probably don't have quite the attachment most do to this. It's a fun movie. It's cute. The color palette is striking. It's amusing. All that said, do I believe this is the billion-dollar sensation it became? No. Good for all involved that it did. I personally don't see what the hoopla was about. It is solid entertainment for both adult and child. However, those who grew up playing these games might be a bit more enamored. Featuring the voices of Chris Pratt, Charlie Day, Anya-Taylor Joy, Jack Black, Seth Rogen, and Keegan-Michael Key.
***1/2 stars
Creepypasta- An exclusive to the horror streaming service, Screambox, this "delightful" tale is the story of a nameless man desperately attempting to find clues as to how he came to be in an abandoned house. His answer lies within a computer and a series of disturbing viral videos. There isn't a whole lot to say about this one. Yes, the videos are creepy. But it's really only a series of vignettes strung together over the flimsiest plot. It feels like a series of short films that was submitted for a contest or a niche film festival. Another horror series, VHS, ran with this concept much better. At least the first one did. If your main interest is to see a couple of bizarre stories, there's value here. If you want an actual horror movie, you can do better.
**3/4 stars
No Hard Feelings- Jennifer Lawrence makes her return to cinema in a very different, very unusual role compared to how we normally see her. In this raunchy romcom (sort of), we meet Maddie, a 32-year-old Uber driver/bartender down on her luck. Her car is repossessed as partial payment of back taxes she owes. With no money and no means to have a consistent income (and also desperate to keep her family home), she answers an unusual ad placed by a well-to-do couple to "date" their reclusive 19-year-old son before he takes off for Princeton in the Fall. If she can bring young Percy out of his shell, she'll get a Buick Regal as payment. What follows is a series of comic misadventures that may profoundly change the outlooks of both as their interactions may lead to something each needs emotionally. Lawrence who is not usually a comic actress delivers a believable humorous performance here. Comedy is not easy. It didn't feel like it overwhelmed her. The person I saw this film with envisioned a role of this nature to be something an Amy Schumer would take on. I agree with that assessment. Some of the humor called for a certain crassness. I think Lawrence was the right call here. Schumer's raunch can be a bit off-putting at times. Lawrence still had sweetness about her that still made you want to see her succeed despite her intentions not always being the best. If you take issue with the premise of a woman in her 30s being paid to date a legal teen, you're not the only one. The internet and political climate being what it is, there have been accusations of grooming and reverse sexism (the story wouldn't fly with a 32-year-old man and 19-year-old young woman). But if this is what you focus on, you're missing the point. The film doesn't glorify what Maddie does. She questions herself throughout the process. The point is that by trying to entice this awkward teen, she grows as a person from being selfish and uncaring to genuinely respecting her "mark." Percy grows as well from a sheltered little boy afraid of life to having confidence in himself. That's the takeaway. And while the movie does have its share of sketchiness, not all the events unfold the way you may think. The ending should leave you satisfied instead of creeped out. As for the comedy, there are a couple of big laughs. It made me chuckle several times if not necessarily fall off my chair. If you're looking for a romcom with a bit of bite, this might be up your alley. Oh, and I would be remiss if I didn't end on this note. J-Law does do a full nude scene. In its context, it's one of the funniest scenes in the movie. Matthew Broderick and Andrew Feldman co-star.
***1/2 stars
Extraction 2- Sequel to the 2020 Netflix mega-hit, Extraction, the latest adventure of SASR special ops soldier-turned-mercenary, Tyler Rake (come on, you knew he wasn't dead), takes him and his merc team to the country of Georgia for what else? Another military extraction. This time, however, the mission is of a personal nature. But, in typical Extraction fashion, no less bloody. Gun fights, close quarter combat, impossible physical feats, a slight pause in the carnage, and then repeat the cycle. That's what this movie is. And that's not saying it's a bad thing, but, meaty this is not. If you're looking for bonecrunching brutality with a little John Wick-ish gun-fu, you've reached your Nirvana. That is to say if gruesome gun death isn't your bag, you should probably give this a pass. Don't expect too much out of it and it's entertaining enough. Chris Hemsworth stars. There's a surprise minor role from another popular "Asgardian."
***1/4 stars
The Out-Laws- The collaboration between Netflix and Happy Madison Studios continues with this raucous streaming comedy. A mild-mannered bank manager is weeks away from marrying the woman of his dreams, a beautiful Yoga instructor. He believes the only thing he has to worry about is putting the clamps on his crazy family at the wedding. That is, until he meets his future in-laws who turn his life topsy-turvy. Could be due to the fact that his fiancé's parents are possibly master criminals. Not much to say on this except the film is produced by Happy Madison. You know what you're getting by the time the first opening credit rolls. Namely a boatload of juvenile toilet slapstick humor which can work if you're into that kind of thing. The plot is preposterous and the protagonist (who's always some poor naive shlub) lucks his way out of the dumbest predicaments imaginable. The Out-Laws does have a cute sweetness about it when it focuses on the relationship between the two leads. The movie's ridiculous nature does produce a few good laughs. It's not a bad way to spend a lazy afternoon. Just understand what you're in for when you sit down with it. Adam Devine, Nina Dobrev, Michael Rooker, Julie Haggerty, Ellen Barkin, and Pierce Brosnan star.
*** stars
Talk to Me- Terror goes international in this Australian-based supernatural thriller. A group of friends hold a type of seance involving an embalmed hand that connects anyone who touches it with the spirit world. The caveat? The connection with must be broken within a certain timeframe otherwise you might bring something back with you from the unknown. Horror movies can spin off the rails in so many ways especially ones that involve evil spirits. I'm happy to report Talk to Me is not one of those films. It's genuinely terrifying. It has an intricate but easy to follow plot. But this movie's greatest strength? It has a type of "suddenness" about it. You could call them jump scares but they're a bit better than that. You know something is going to happen but when it does, it still smacks you in the face. And it doesn't feel cheesy. This is one horror fans need to put on their radar.
**** stars
Strays- Did you ever long for a movie told from the point of view of dogs? Oh, wait, we already have several of those you say? Maybe. But none quite like this. This is the story of Reggie. A cute little mutt who loves his owner to the ends of the earth. The problem is his owner, Doug, doesn't love him the same way. In fact, he does everything he can to rid himself of Reggie. Until that fateful day the pooch decides he's had enough and longs to rid Doug of his favorite appendage. And ol' Reg has a pack of new canine friends to help. Raunchy ridiculous comedies don't get much better than this. Funny from the opening frame to the end with some real laugh out loud moments. And it really is told from a dog's point of view albeit an almost X-rated one at times (code for a plethora of sexual innuendo). Even as raunchy and gross as this film can be at times, it still explores the serious topic of animal abandonment as you feel for Reggie's plight with Doug. It's an abusive relationship that is all too common between human and pet. But never fear. The movie doesn't get heavy handed about it as there's always something rowdy going on. The resolution is dark, ridiculous, and totally fitting for this plot. This is a must-see comedy. Will Forte is Doug. The canine crew is voiced by Will Ferrell, Jamie Foxx, Isla Fisher, and Randall Park.
**** stars
***1/2 stars
Hidden Strike- The unusual pairing of Jackie Chan and John Cena headline this Netflix original. An ex-Chinese special forces operative and a former US Marine team up to thwart a nefarious plot to steal oil from a Chinese refinery in the Middle East by mercenaries looking for the hugest payday of all time. I'll let you take a wild guess at who plays who among the two leads. This movie is somewhat baffling to me because it starts as a fairly tight serious actioner. However, when Chan and Cena meet about halfway through, it devolves into buddy comedy silliness. Between Chan's frenetic martial arts and Cena's strongman prowess, the fight scenes are entertaining if not preposterous. Honestly, I don't care how strong you are but one grown man whipping another grown man full force by the ankle even defies the inanity of professional wrestling. I don't want to say Chan and Cena phoned it in here but they've both been part of better projects. All that said, I didn't hate Hidden Strike. It's the poster child of Shut-Your-Brain-Off action films. Big explosions, nonsensical plot, cardboard villain, and some occasional fun banter between the leads. Yep. It's a likable enough popcorn movie you can stream from the convenience of your own home. Some of the outtakes are amusing so watch for those at the end.
*** stars
Heart of Stone-Netflix gives us another original actioner. An agent of a clandestine organization that has infiltrated the British MI-6 becomes embroiled in an international plot to steal a highly advanced AI from her own organization. As with any spy thriller, there's wall-to-wall action, explosions, and double crosses galore. Nothing you see here is really bad. But (no pun intended) the film has no heart. I cared for no character for the entire runtime. The lead tries her best but neither she nor the rest of the cast can overcome thinly written pegs on a board who move because the plot says they're supposed to move. Nothing felt organic. It's not a good thing for an action movie to have you looking at your watch wondering when it will end. Gal Gadot and Jamie Dornan star.
**3/4 stars
The Equalizer 3- Director Antoine Fuqua presents this third installment of the popular vigilante franchise. "Retired" government operative, Robert McCall, goes international. While on a mysterious mission in Sicily, McCall stumbles upon a plot involving terrorists and the local Sicilian mafia. When McCall witnesses how residents of a small town suffer under the tyranny of the mob, he becomes dedicated to protecting these people who need his special type of "assistance." If this proves to be the last chapter of this franchise, it goes out on a very high note. Because of the brutal action, I can't help but make a few comparisons to John Wick. Wick is without a doubt entertaining. But the last two chapters had wild crazy action. Ridiculously so. Equalizer, while ultra-violent, always felt a little more grounded. And this chapter is no different. McCall's cold calculating efficiency makes him a more frightening figure. He is a true boogeyman to his intended targets made all the more intimidating by the faraway death stare he has. What also struck me is Fuqua didn't overthink this. It's a simple story allowing the main character to do what he does best. This movie was a delight. If you believe gruesome mutilations are delightful. Denzel Washington stars once again as the brutal saint of the innocent, Robert McCall.
**** stars
Fast X- The tenth, yes 10th, installment (11 if you count the Hobbs and Shaw offshoot) of the highly profitable street racers-turned-Avengers franchise brings more of the racing, explosions, and complete disregard for physics that you can possibly cram into a feature film. We start 10 years into the past where another highly implausible sequence of events comes back to haunt Dominic Torreto and his crew in the present. A deviously brilliant criminal with a vendetta has made it his life's mission to take everything away from Dominic including the thing he values most. His family. And there's no amount of collateral damage that's going to get between these two emotional specimens when they have beef. Where do I start? As you can probably discern with the previous commentary, I find the whole concept of this movie ludicrous (hey, he's also in the movie). Everyone in the film should be in the dirt a thousand times over. In fact, I was laughing through most of it. Science doesn't work this way. Muscle cars shouldn't be able to drag several ton vaults OR helicopters! Nor should they be able to drive perfectly down vertical walls. It's ridiculous. It's silly. It's dumb. BUT...I have to admire its audacity. Fast X is unapologetic in its unintentional (or maybe intentional) goofiness. I can't say I was ever bored by it. There are just too many things to mock. And, in a weird way, that's why I give this the barest of thumbs up. Just think. There's yet another one of these coming in 2024. The usual Fast crew returns. You know the cast. Some notable inclusions from past franchise films include Jason Statham, Helen Mirren, John Cena, Brie Larson, Charlize Theron, and...that would be telling. But stick around for the end credit scene. It's "eyebrow raising." And the most notable addition (also best feature of the movie) is Jason Mamoa as the aloof, somewhat effeminate tough guy villain. The photo below the review? Yes, that is Vin Diesel using a car door as a shield like he's Captain America.
*** stars
The Retirement Plan- Yes. Another one of those wacky Nicolas Cage movies we've all grown to know and...you fill in the blank. In this action comedy, Cage is a retired beach bum living very modestly in the Cayman Islands when a little girl claiming to be his granddaughter shows up at his doorstep. It seems his estranged daughter sent her there carrying an object that is of great interest to some bad people. When his abducted daughter shows up with said bad people, both are in for the shock of their lives when it comes to light granddad is more than what he appears to be. I mentioned this is an action comedy. Some of the action is a bit brutal. Not Wick-style brutal but more than bloodless PG-13. As for comedic? The film is more amusing than laugh-at-loud funny although it has a couple of moments. It has a bit of heart as the granddaughter forms a bond with one of the main villain's henchmen. There's an intricate but accessible conspiracy surrounding the object of desire. All in all everything was going along smoothly with the film until the ending. To say it was flat considering the previous 100 minutes of mayhem is the understatement of the year. It was the most "That's it" ending I've seen in a little while. And it's what keeps this movie from being in the category of "great." Ron Perlman, Ernie Hudson, Jackie Earl Haley, and Ashley Greene co-star.
***1/2 stars
Saw X- The saga of Jigsaw Killer, John Kramer, continues in this 10th installment of the popular torture porn/horror franchise. So, John Kramer died at the end of Saw III. How is he alive and (barely) kicking seven films later you ask? The story of Saw X takes place sometime after he has recruited his most loyal disciple, Amanda, and before his death in the third installment. The plot is the basic premise of every Saw movie involving Kramer. A master builder and planner, he seeks to open the eyes of his "students" by teaching them to appreciate life through pain and torture. His victims have always crossed John's path negatively at some point in their lives. Saw X is no exception. A group of wrongdoers get more than they've bargained for when they're captured and wake up in the dank warehouse of John Kramer (Jigsaw) forced to "live or die" through his elaborate traps and torture devices. However, unlike other stories in the franchise where Kramer stays primarily as the master manipulator in the background, he's this film's "protagonist." It's a strange but welcome narrative change. However, while John's position in the story dynamic is new, it's Saw. Some things will always remain the same, namely the violent, grisly deaths inflicted by John's elaborate torture devices. That's what the audience comes to see and that's the bloody goodness this chapter gives the true believers. The Saw franchise suffered with the last two installments, Jigsaw and Spiral. Kramer's influence was sorely missed as this was always his story. Saw X is a welcome return to form. And this is the sweet spot the franchise should remain in for any future installments. Unlike other movies in the franchise, there is a mid-credits scene. It's a satisfying one within the film's context. Tobin Bell returns as John Kramer/Jigsaw.
**** stars
Haunted Mansion- This second film adaptation of Disney's popular theme park attraction is 20 years separated from the original 2003 Eddie Murphy adaptation. The premise is simple. Several spirits haunt a mansion in Louisiana led by one vengeful spirit who is practically evil incarnate. An astrophysicist, a priest, a medium, an eccentric professor, a nurse and her young son take on the task of cleansing the house of ghosts. This is partially a horror movie because it does have some vivid ghostly images. But also keep in mind this is a Disney feature based on a Disney theme park, so the horror is a little "Mickey Mouse" by the same token. Overall, I liked the pacing of the story. The acting was decent. Tiffany Haddish didn't get on my last nerve. And there was a fair amount of humor. Cutesy humor mostly, but there were a few hints of harder edge jokes. This is everything you would expect a Disney "horror" movie to be. Rosario Dawson, Owen Wilson, Danny DeVito, LaKeith Stanfield, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Jared Leto star with a cameo appearance by Winona Ryder.
***1/2 stars
** 3/4 stars
The Marvels- Well it had to happen. It was going to happen. When a movie grosses over a billion, no matter what the reason may be, a sequel is almost inevitable. So, say what you will about 2019's "Captain Marvel" (and a ton has been said), the character was going to return. So what does said sequel bring to the table besides the return of CM herself, Nick Fury, Skrulls, and Goose the "Cat"? Most notable, the characters of Monica Rambeau and Kamala Khan are added to the mix hence the plurality of the film's name. And speaking of those added characters, our tale begins pretty much at the end of the latter's Disney + series months ago. Captain Marvel (Carol Danvers), Monica, and Kamala (Ms. Marvel) find their lives intertwined in wacky and potentially dangerous ways when their light-based powers switch their positions in space whenever they use them. The catalyst for this entanglement is the new Kree leader, Dar-Benn, who is looking to restore the resources of the Kree homeworld that were inadvertently disrupted by CM's actions in the first CM film. There's a fair amount to say about The Marvels. The plot doesn't always flow well. It seems the movie forgets its own premise at times when the three leads use their powers. Dar-Benn is one of the least compelling villains the MCU has produced. Generic to her core. Nothing more than a glorified prop. Nick Fury is reduced to an almost comedic role which kind of works, but if you're expecting a meaty Samuel L. Jackson role, this ain't it. There are some tonal issues. The Marvels doesn't know if it wants to take itself seriously or if it wants to be a lighthearted adventure. One thing you can say about this, well, it's something you can say about all MCU projects now, is that it's gotten so big that it's assumed viewers will know certain things coming in. And I guess that's natural for a tentpole that's been active for almost 20 years. That also means these movies aren't putting a tremendous amount of effort into character development which I could see might be off-putting to a viewer who doesn't follow the franchise closely. I d and I have scratched my head at times keeping it all straight. This movie does have issues. Buuuuuuuuuuut...I liked it. No, it is far from the best the MCU has to offer. But don't believe the current online hype. It's far from the worst either. I would re-watch The Marvels 100 times before I'd think about sitting down with Ragnarok, Love and Thunder, and Wakanda Forever again. I enjoyed this one more than the first Captain Marvel. You know what The Marvels is? Iron Man 3. A film with some fun moments but easily forgettable. Faint praise, I know. As far as the movie's namesakes, I thought the three leads worked well enough together. The "conflict" between Carol and Monica felt contrived and I didn't buy it. But when they weren't trying their hands at bad angst-driven drama, they were fine. Teyonah Parris is likable as Monica but she didn't stand out in any major way for me. Let's address the elephant in the room now. Miss Brie Larson. I thought she injected more personality in her character than she has previously. She didn't come off oddly or awkward in any way. She was fine performance-wise, although I'm sure certain sections of social media will again release 50 videos per day about how much she sucks. The Brie Larson hatred became tired when it started four years ago. She said what she said. Get over yourselves CHUDs. What was by far this film's shining star was Iman Vellani's Ms. Marvel. Full honesty. I didn't like the Ms. Marvel series. But I liked her. I still do. I want to see more Kamala Khan in the MCU. She has this infectious personality and enthusiasm about her without being overbearing. Even though her character is a total fangirl, I've never found her annoying. She makes you smile. I don't know what Vellani is like in the real world. She could be a raging you-know-what. But what she projects into this character is amazing. You can't help but like her. I was drawn to her parts in the film most. Fortunately, there's quite a few. There were some notable high points in The Marvels. How the three learned to fight in unison and coordinate their powers looked very good on camera. However, the one thing I think might put a smile on even the most jaded face is the big reveal during the mid-credits scene. It should make all jump out of their chairs screaming "FINALLY!" I think people who go into this without many preconceived notions can find things to enjoy about this movie. It's not a masterpiece. It's not great. It's not even very good. It is very watchable though. Frivolous entertainment to be sure. It's not the worst thing you've ever seen. Give it a shot. You might be surprised.
***1/4 stars
Thanksgiving- Anyone remember the Robert Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino ode to old graphic movie cheese called "Grindhouse?" Remember the fake trailers that played through the movie? I'm sure you all know and remember two "Machete" films came from this source material. Well, now add another trailer-turned-feature from that 2007 ode. Thanksgiving is a holiday horror movie directed by gore director extraordinaire, Eli Roth. What can I say about this? The dialogue is cheesy (intentionally so I think). The kills are gruesome and bloody. What do you expect? It's Eli Roth. Did you not see the Hostel series? The film comes with a simple plot. A serial killer goes on a rampage in the town of Plymouth, Massachusetts, wearing a Pilgrim costume and masked visage of the town's founder. Oh, we can't forget the very large and very sharp axe he wields. His malfunction? A hidden vendetta against a particular group of consumers involved in a Black Friday riot at an appliance store a year earlier. The movie is ludicrous. From beginning to end. It's gross and off-putting. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. This was so much fun if you love horror. Cheap, frivolous, violent, and bloody as Hell! Sometimes you just need to shut your brain off and this is the perfect movie for that. Sit back and admire the carnage. The Black Friday riot alone is worth the price of admission. Patrick Dempsey stars.
***3/4 stars
**1/2 stars
Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey-From the demented mind of writer/director Rhys Frake-Waterfield comes a film that will shatter many a childhood dream. Nothing is sacred in the land of make believe as the lovable honey-loving yellow bear, Winnie the Pooh, becomes an unstoppable cannibalistic killing machine. In the Hundred Acre Wood, young Christopher Robin makes friends with a few anthropomorphic wildland creatures. He feeds them. Cares for them. They all become inseparable companions. Until Christopher gets older and leaves to attend college. Heartbroken, his woodland friends become despondent. And then...angry. Then, murderous. So murderous that they kill and consume their own until only Pooh and Piglet remain. And woe to anyone who is unfortunate enough to cross into their wooded homeland. So if the plot of this one sounds 100% ludicrous, you would be correct in thinking that. I won't waste your time with too much detail. The Pooh and Piglet costumes are terrible. The acting is non-existent. The victims are merely pawns to be executed in the most gruesome manner possible. Oh, and there's room for a possible sequel so you have that to look forward to. This is a horrid movie by just about every account imaginable. But you know what? I can't completely trash it because I'm the kind of guy who loves the bastardization of everything wholesome. So, anyone who has the fortitude to turn a children's classic on its ear, even if it's bad, I have to give them a partial thumbs up. Yes, there just may be something wrong with me.
**1/2 stars
Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning Part One- The penultimate chapter of the wildly popular action franchise is once again directed by Christopher McQuarrie and offers the same death-defying stunts of its predecessors. On the docket for IMF agent extraordinaire, Ethan Hunt, is the recovery of a key that provides a gateway to the source code of a sentient AI that can wreak world havoc. Ethan and his team must go rogue (what else is new in this series) to complete the mission which becomes very personal for Ethan (again, what else is new) when a ghost from his past attempts to complete the same mission for far more nefarious reasons. The MI series is always good for delivering wall-to-wall action. Sometimes I've found the stories to be somewhat lacking. This one? A decent enough story if a bit more sci-fi than what you would usually expect from a spy thriller. Ethan performs his customary 60 stunts that should have killed him 70 times. I'm being a bit snarky because this is your typical MI formula. But, I did have a lot of fun with this one and it's due to the characters. We've been through the trials and tribulations of this core team for what, three or four movies now? They're a family. They've grown on me despite the over-the-top excesses. I'll give it to Tom Cruise. He's made this work for seven films now with number eight coming in 2024. That's no small feat. And this one feels a bit different because it has some stakes. Not all of the team comes out unscathed and I'll leave it at that. Simon Pegg, Ving Rhames, Hayley Atwell, Rebecca Ferguson, Esai Morales, and Pom Klemenfieff co-star.
***3/4 stars
The Killer- Director David Fincher who has given us some of the best thrillers of the modern age (Fight Club, Se7en, Gone Girl) returns to the chair for this Netflix original following the journey of a professional assassin after a job gone wrong. An unnamed killer botches an assassination attempt in Paris and goes on a personal crusade when someone close to him is grievously attacked in retaliation. If you're thinking this has the premise of a banger of an action movie, you would be mistaken. From beginning to end, it's more of a character study of a sociopath as the killer narrates the details and almost mundane nature of his job. It's clear and the killer almost proudly touts he lacks empathy. That his cold, clinical nature is his strength. That nothing he does is personal although the hunt he goes on is obviously very personal to him. It's an interesting approach the director takes. But therein lies the problem I had with the movie overall. There's too much exposition and not enough stuff happening. This isn't like a Tarantino movie where a lack of action is moderated by great quotable dialogue. As mundane as the killer describes his job to be, much of the inner monologue he has is just as meandering. To say this movie is a slow burn is kind of a disservice to slow burns. And the ending is just so abrupt. Almost as if, "Okay, I'm done talking now." I guess there's a resolution to all this and I blinked and missed it. John Wick this most definitely is not. And as ridiculously over the top as those films are (especially the last one), I think you can strike a happy medium between that and this to make something truly compelling. Your enjoyment of this is probably going to hinge on how much action you like with your assassin-driven thrillers. I will say the one thing I did get a big kick out of in this is the killer's use of old 70s TV characters as aliases. The film is also based on a French graphic novel if you're looking for some literary reference. Michael Fassbender and Tilda Swinton star.
**3/4 stars
***1/2 stars
The Exorcist: Believer- More than 40 years after the possession of Regan MacNeil terrified audiences in the original film, Hell's demons have returned to wreak havoc in the modern day. This time, two pre-teen girls are the victims when a seance to reach one of the girls' dead mother goes horribly wrong. The parents of both girls are at their wit's end until a familiar face who has some experience in these matters is approached for some much needed assistance. This movie was directed by David Gordon Green and produced by Blumhouse. For the life of me, I don't understand the studio's fascination with this director. Green was also the director of the latest Halloween trilogy which crashed and burned with me. Particularly the last two chapters. So now Blumhouse has unleashed Green on another OG horror franchise to much the same result in my opinion. I read somewhere that two more Exorcist movies by Green are coming, too. My problem with this director is that I believe he loses focus on what a horror movie should be. Startling. Provocative. Suspenseful. I think he puts character study above the elements that make a great horror movie. It's fine that you do that. In fact, I commend him for approaching horror a little differently. But if you're going to waste half the movie on slow burning minutiae, then when it's time for the blood to flow, you better be off to the races. And I don't feel I get that from Green's movies. When the killings start, the movies still leave me as very "Meh." There are some good scenes here. In a possession-type horror movie, half the fun is listening to the demented things demons say through their human vessels. Unfortunately, possession has been done better than this. Ellen Burstyn reprises her role as Chris MacNeil.
**3/4 stars
Silent Night- John Woo, the originator of cinematic "Gun-Fu", returns to direct one of his few American-made actioners. Brian Godluck is a common family man living in New Mexico with his wife and young child when they are caught in the middle of a gang war. Tragedy ensues and Brian vows revenge on the perpetrators. Training for a year and gathering all intel he can about the gangsters, Brian has plans to exact his righteous bloody vengeance on Christmas Eve, the anniversary of the tragic event. You know what was really good about this film? It's simple. It has no trepidation about its purpose. This is as pure of a revenge movie as you will find. The action is over-the-top. It's a bit ridiculous (it's Woo, what do you expect). It's sad. It has stakes. Most of all, it'll keep your eyeballs glued to the screen. I said the movie is over-the-top. The action sequences are. But I did like that they tempered it a bit when it came to Brian's "training." He pretty much learned how to do everything he does combat-wise from the internet. And while he becomes proficient, the Punisher he is not. He makes mistakes. He gets tagged. But he's become a survivor. It adds a bit of realism to the plot. Well as "real" as something of this nature can be. And the one thing I'll leave you with is pay close attention to the title. As you watch the movie, you'll realize quickly this ain't a Christmas reference. A very unique style was chosen to move this story along. Joel Kinnaman stars.
***3/4 stars
The Family Plan- In this Apple Studios comic thriller, Dan Morgan is your average run-of-the-mill everyman. A car salesman with a wife and three kids living in the 'burbs of Buffalo, New York. A homebody to the nth degree. The most non-aggressive, unassuming man in America. So why after over a decade of domestic bliss do bad guys come calling in Buffalo wanting to kill him? Further, why does Dan methodically launch a plan to take his family on an impromptu "vacation" to Las Vegas when it starts getting heavy in New York? All with the intention of getting them all out of the country with new identities. Could it be that Dan may have held something back from his family about his past all these years? It's a strong possibility. Raise your hand if you've seen a million movies like this before. It's contrived as contrived can be. The blissfully unaware family that has had no inkling of the patriarch's life prior to becoming a family man. The disposable bad guys that come in droves to be disposed of like so much cannon fodder. The betrayals, the double crosses, the moustache-twirling bad guy. It's all here. But the movie is cute and genuinely funny throughout. And the action scenes are fairly well choreographed. The topper for me was the baby who constantly laughed through imminent danger. He reminded me of little Jack-Jack from The Incredibles. The best way to describe this is a family comedy with a smattering of bloodless murder. Solid entertainment albeit very familiar entertainment. Mark Wahlberg, Michelle Monahan, and Maggie Q star.
***1/2 stars
Leave the World Behind- This Netflix original was backed by the Obamas' production company believe it or not. An apocalyptic thriller, the film introduces us to the Sandfords, an American family of four. On an unplanned vacation in a Long Island rental home, strange occurrences begin to manifest. The internet and TV services go out. The animals in the surrounding wooded area begin acting strangely. Then a fateful knock at the door brings unexpected guests in the form of the Scotts, the owners of the home the Sandfords have rented. What do they want and why are they here now? Could it have something to do with what is occurring or is there more craziness to come? You know the term "slow burn" is quickly growing to be an overused one. I know I've used it to describe many a movie or TV show myself. It can be a good thing if there's a satisfactory payoff at the end. If there's not, well, you feel like you've wasted your life. Mark this one as the latter. We're kind of told why things are happening in the end but up to this point it's just a bunch of strange and goofy events strung together in an agonizingly long two plus hour plot. But we still have to kind of take it on faith that this is why things are happening the way they are. I'm not sure what the film is trying to say. Is it lambasting our over reliance on technology? Is it making a social statement about our disconnection from each other? All of the above? Maybe it's up to our interpretation. If the almost two and half hour runtime isn't enough to annoy you, the ending surely will. Remember what I said earlier about a payoff? Yeah, none here. This movie has one of the most abrupt and unmeaningful endings I've ever seen. What was that? Leave the World Behind has mad star power and I can't say it's badly acted. But it leaves you cold. You wonder what the point is. I think these actors deserved to be in a better movie that could answer those questions. Julia Roberts, Mahershala Ali, Ethan Hawke, and Kevin Bacon star.
** stars
***1/2 stars
Anyone But You- Entering into the ever increasing glut of romantic comedies comes director Will Gluck's Anyone But You, a riff on the classic Shakespeare comedy, Much Ado About Nothing. Bea and Ben meet at a coffee shop under a somewhat quirky circumstance. Having an instant connection, they spend the day together and talk the night away both falling asleep on Ben's couch. Through an unfortunate set of misunderstandings, attraction turns to scorn and the two don't see each other until months later when fate brings them together again for the wedding of Bea's sister and Ben's friend. Due to the animus between Bea and Ben threatening to make the wedding a disaster and the appearance of both combatants' exes further throwing a monkey wrench into the proceedings, family and friends seek to manipulate the spark that lingers between them. Bea and Ben, knowing the manipulation for what it is, go along for their own reasons vowing they still hate each other. So, I believe I've said on more than one occasion that I am not a fan of rom-coms. They're silly and follow the exact same formula. Man and woman meet. Man and woman are attracted to each other but for some contrived reason they can't be together. The ice melts between them and they get together briefly. Only for another contrived circumstance pulling them apart again. Then one makes the grand sacrifice and chases down the other. They express their deep undying love for each other. The End. So many of these films are so smarmy and sickeningly "cute." But you know what the better ones do? They add that little bit of raunch that allows you to forgive some, or a lot of the saccharine elements foisted upon you. Anyone But You is one of those better ones in my opinion. Sure, it has all of the usual rom-com tropes some of us hate. But there are genuine laugh-out-loud moments in this one. Enough that I could get beyond much of the usual silliness and contrivances these types of movies are inundated with. Plus, the leads do have solid chemistry between them. This is solid entertainment for what is usually a cringe-inducing genre. Sydney Sweeney and Glen Powell star.
***1/2 stars
The Iron Claw- This biopic from Sean Durkin chronicles the lives of one of the royal families of professional wrestling if not THE royal family, the Von Erichs. Talented and chronically tragic, the Von Erichs ruled the Texas wrestling scene for over a decade. The four brothers (Kevin, David, Kerry, and Mike) and their father (Fritz) were the promoters and babyface darlings of World Class Championship Wrestling, a satellite promotion of the National Wrestling Alliance (NWA). The brothers fought a plethora of memorable foes that ranks as a who's who of old school hall of fame talent including Harley Race, Bruiser Brody, Ric Flair, and the Fabulous Freebirds. But they had their demons. Oh, did they have them. And those demons led the family to tragic endings for three of the four wrestling brothers. Pushed relentlessly by a promoter father who attempted to live his missed glory from his wrestling days through his sons, the story that unfolds in this film made me well up with tears more than once. These young men were emotionally damaged by their father's "tough love" pushing and their mother's seeming indifference to the internal turmoil each of them felt. These were men who were not allowed to be themselves for most of their lives. The pursuit of the NWA world title was paramount to Fritz and one of his sons was going to be champion by any means possible if they had to train through all hours of the day and night, through injury, and through him pitting them against each other. The film is loaded with great performances by the "Von Erich" actors. As I watched this, I couldn't help but reflect on how much of a profound impact this was having on me. I grew up watching World Class wrestling and the Von Erichs among others. Seeing them depicted on film along with others such as the Freebirds, Flair, Race, and Brody holds a special place in my heart. This is easily one of the year's best movies even if you are not a wrestling fan. It has that type of emotional punch. Zac Efron, Jeremy Allen White, Harris Dickinson, Maura Tierney, Holt McCallany, Stanley Simons, and Lily James star.
****1/4 stars
Barbie- What to say, what to say about Greta Gerwig's live action venture into the world of a child's doll. Granted, arguably the most popular doll on the planet, but a doll nonetheless. I'm going to be honest. When I first heard about it, I rolled m eyes thinking this was going to be silly trash. More on that in a sec. In the vast multiverse (Does everyone use that hook these days?), exists Barbieland. A world of bright colors and nothing but happiness where different versions of the popular doll, Barbie, live perfect lives and can be anything they want to be. Actually, the Barbies literally rule the land. But they're not alone. For what is Barbie without Ken in tow? Almost as many versions of him as there are Barbie exist in Barbieland. And, of course, there are Barbie's friends Midge, Skipper, and the like. And a lone figure named "Alan" who really is of no consequence at all (even he knows it). "Stereotypical" Barbie suddenly begins suffering an existential crisis when her perfect world is shattered as she develops bad breath, flat feet, and (gasp!) cellulite. Advised by "Weird" Barbie to find the girl in the real world who's playing with her and casting this dour shadow over her life, Barbie travels to Venice Beach reluctantly with "Beach" Ken to inject happiness back into her handler's life. A task she won't find so easy dealing with cat calls, rude gropes, surly tweens, bumbling Mattel executives, and Ken learning about the patriarchy. Now back to my statement about thinking Barbie would be silly trash. It's silly for sure. Trash? Not at all. Barbie is a very funny comedic adventure if you don't take some of its themes to the political extremes of wokeness and man-bashing. Yes, Gerwig is trying to convey a message about being yourself and what makes us real. Yes there are strong themes of feminism throughout. But if you look deeper into the message, Gerwig is also saying a matriarchal society can be just as damaging and extreme as a patriarchal society. Either way some group is likely to be oppressed in some way. But she goes about pushing the theme in a subversive way using slapstick, comedic melodrama, and just plain goofiness. All these methods are particularly notable when Ken takes the "men rule" mindset back to Barbieland to "conquer" the perfect female-dominated hierarchy. His version of a perfect world is one of the dumbest, most vapid things you've ever seen. And it's hilarious. The one thing I will say on a somewhat negative front is I don't know ultimately if anything really gets resolved other than the Barbies becoming nicer overlords. But the movie is funny with plenty of chuckles from beginning to end. Margot Robbie, Ryan Gosling, Kate McKinnon, America Ferrara, Rhea Perlman, Michael Cera, Simu Liu, Issa Rae, John Cena, and Will Ferrell star. Helen Mirren logs duty as the narrator.
***1/2 stars
Blue Beetle- One of the last forays into the now defunct DCEU, Blue Beetle brings one of the lesser-known DC superheroes to the big screen possibly hoping for at least moderate success a la Marvel's Ant-Man franchise. Well, the latter has spawned three feature films. Could BB convince new bigwig, James Gunn, to bring the character into his new upcoming version of the DC Universe? Jaime Reyes returns to his hometown of Palmera City, a recent graduate of Gotham Law University. He returns to find his family destitute and on the verge of losing their home. Forced to take a menial cleaning job with his sister's employer, Victoria Kord, Jaime's life will take a turn for the bizarre when he meets Victoria's niece, Jenny. There are some strange things happening at Kord Industries that Jenny plunges Jaime dead in the middle of when she gives him an odd blue scarab for safekeeping. A scarab Jaime will learn has a mind of its own and power beyond his wildest imagining. I'll make this short and sweet. If you look up mundane in the dictionary, it will likely say "See Blue Beetle." It's not bad. It's somewhat amusing at times. But, ultimately, it feels like a big nothing. Now you can say I'm biased. I've already expressed my greater love for Marvel over DC in other reviews. But, sorry. Ant-Man did this type of lesser-known-character-in-comedic-adventure better. Aside from Jaime's over-the-top uncle being kind of humorous on occasion, the only real hook might be that this is a superhero movie with a Latino protagonist with a primarily Latino cast. Not something you see in this genre very often. At least I can't think of another one at the moment. And I don't want to hear another word about ineffective Marvel villains, particularly from DC fans after getting a dose of Victoria Kord. This might be the most inconsequential antagonist this genre has ever seen. This was Sharon Stone in Catwoman levels of bad. Susan Sarandon deserved better. I'll admit something else, too. Knowing that Gunn is rebooting the entire universe kind of makes me feel I'm wasting my time with anything DC related until the reboot. I've really truly wondered at times "Why am I watching this" with these last few DCEU films. However, the saving grace of the movie is the likability of the main character and particularly some of the ways he interacts with his quirky family. It has some heart. It has a few nice visuals. So, by the slimmest of margins, I'll say this one is worth a look. Xolo Mariduena of Cobra Kai fame stars as Jaime/Blue Beetle. George Lopez co-stars as his loony uncle, Rudy.
*** stars
Rebel Moon Part One: A Child of Fire- The post DCEU era of Zack Snyder continues in this first chapter of a two-part made-for-Netflix sci-fi adventure. That was a mouthful. In an unnamed galaxy, a vast militaristic empire called the Imperium rules with an iron fist. The empire comes calling on the peaceful farming planet of Veldt with a twofold purpose. One, to "negotiate" the sale of grain and, two, to get a line on the rebel resistance causing a nuisance to the Motherworld. A tragic flurry of events leads to a sadistic garrison being left on Veldt with the ominous specter of the Imperium returning in 10 months to collect almost all of the grain, leaving the \population with starvation rations when this occurs. One villager, Kora, gets her village in deeper trouble through an incident with the garrison leading her travel the near cosmos to search of warriors to protect the village when the galaxy conquerors return. The best way I can describe Rebel Moon is it's Star Wars meets The Magnificent Seven. It's very obvious where some of these themes were ripped off...er, borrowed. There are rumors that a Director's Cut of this film will be coming at some point in the future. This appears to be typical of Zack Snyder projects of late, doesn't it? Even at about two and a quarter hours you'll feel the movie is a bit incomplete as you're watching. There isn't a tremendous amount of world building and it feels a bit haphazard in certain sections. This description could be used to describe Snyder's BatmanvSuperman until the Director's Cut fleshed out a lot of what was missing from the theatrical version. Rebel Moon has some good action sequences and intimidating, if a bit cheesy, villains. But it feels incomplete, and it's not just due to a part two being released in April. But what you get is entertaining enough to spend time with it. Sofia Boutella, Charlie Hunnam, Djimon Hounsou, and Anthony Hopkins star.
*** stars
Killers of the Flower Moon- Martin Scorsese takes a bit of a departure from his usual gangster fare with this historical crime drama. Chronicling true events, we're taken to 1920s Oklahoma. The Osage Nation is enjoying the fruits of living on an oil rich land. Retaining the mineral rights to the land and reaping the royalties from oil companies, the Osage Nation has become prosperous but also a bit robbed at the same time. Because American law has deemed it necessary to appoint legal guardians to the Osage to manage their money. Until they show "competence." These guardians tend to be white businessmen and lawyers who very often marry into the Native families with ulterior motives. Enter William King Hale. Deputy sheriff/wealthy rancher and "friend" to the Osage. When his nephew, Ernest Burkhart, returns from World War I and comes to Oklahoma to work for his uncle, a tragic chain of events escalates through deception and murder that are so severe the federal government is sent to investigate. You know, if you follow history, Oklahoma wasn't a very friendly place for prosperous minority people between the Osage Murders and Tulsa Race Massacre. But I digress. The film is well acted by the three leads. It's a movie that will move you through its tragic circumstances and make you angry toward man's inhumanity and treachery. All due to greed and the oppression of people who have no true power. But karma has a way of catching up with everyone in the end. Like most Scorsese films, this is long clocking in just shy of three and a half hours. Make sure you have time to sit down with this one. Honestly, I think about an hour could have been knocked off the time without losing much. So be warned. This is slow moving. But, as I said earlier, the three leads make this worth a sit through. One giving his usual notable performance. One giving a better performance than he has in a couple years. One making a notable breakout performance. Leonardo DiCaprio, Robert DeNiro, and Lily Gladstone star.
***1/2 stars
The Last Voyage of the Demeter- Vampires. How many different ways can you tell the story of the undead? Well, one unique option is to adapt one chapter of the most famous vampire story of all time. Taken from "The Captain's Log" chapter of Bram Stoker's epic, the merchant ship, Demeter, washes ashore in England in the latter half of 1897. About a month earlier, the story unfolds in flashback of the doomed vessel's fateful pickup in Bulgaria. Multiple wooden crates of unknown content the locals refuse to load onto the ship. Once on the water heading back to London, mysterious things begin happening at night baffling the crew. A mystery that could lead to their horrific end if they can't find a way to survive the nights. With the hints I've dropped thus far, I'm sure you've figured out what this horrific thing is that attacks at night so, I'm going to refer to that thing by name now. This was a very different type of Dracula film. One in which you never him as the handsome and suave "Count." He's a truly a monster from Hell in appearance and deed. I thought the film did an admirable job of building the tension among the crew and pushing that feeling of claustrophobia of being within the limited confines of a ship. It would be a terrifying experience knowing there's nowhere to run from a thing you know is going to kill you. The one thing that always makes me raise an eyebrow is how from film to film, vampire lore is changed as needed. For instance, I'll use two films that draw from the Bram Stoker's novel. Sunlight didn't destroy vamps in Francis Ford Coppola's movie decades prior. Here, they become raging infernos as soon as their kissed by the sun's rays. It's not a problem for me per se, I just marvel at the inconsistencies. At least they don't "sparkle" in this one. In any case, its a solid vampire thriller. Not epic by any means, but it does create that feeling of dread which is what good horror should do. And one thing I have to admire, this movie touched the third rail you rarely see even in horror. A child and a cute dog are horrifically murdered. Party.
***1/2 stars
Poor Things- Oh boy. That was my initial thought when I discovered Yorgos Lanthimos directed this movie. Needless to say, I haven't been a fan of his previous surreal fantasies. Has anyone seen The Lobster or The Killing of a Sacred Deer? He's different to be sure but not my cup of tea. But what I found intriguing about this initially was the lead actress, so, in spite of myself, I decided to give this a whirl. A type of Frankenstein tale, this is the story of Bella Baxter. A young woman in Victorian England brought back to life after suicide by a brilliant but extremely unorthodox surgeon. Sometimes volatile, always curious, Bella goes on a quest of self-discovery when a charming, but smarmy lawyer whisks her away on a cruise ship. Many adventures she has and many people she meets. Unfortunately, however, everyone has a past. Sometimes, not a very pleasant one. Believe it or not, this is kind of a comic fantasy. It has a few laugh out loud moments. Also, believe it or not, I kind of liked this. Well, like may be too strong of a word. I found it tolerable which is something I've never before been able to say about Lanthimos's work. This is goofy. It's tragic. It has several standout performances. Most of all, I was able to follow this without thinking "What the hell am I watching?" At least not in a bad way unlike the previous films I mentioned. I will say the Oscar the lead actress received for this is deserved. What I will also say is, you've never seen her do anything like this before. When I say she goes on a quest of self-discovery, I mean that in more ways than one. So, for those interested, there's that. This isn't going to be for everyone. It was barely for me. But this is another movie where I'm not sure if good or bad applies. It's something you need to experience. And you can do so if you have a Hulu subscription. Emma Stone, Mark Ruffalo, and Willem Dafoe star.
*** stars
Dream Scenario- One thing you have to say about Nicolas Cage is the dude's fearless. He will absolutely appear in anything and this surreal horror comedy is proof of that. Paul Matthews is an unassuming mild-mannered biology professor who mysteriously begins appearing in random people's dreams usually within calamities in those dreams. Initially riding a wave of popularity from these impromptu appearances, things take a turn when he begins perpetrating the violence in the dreams. And that is a recipe for disaster in the real world. This film is a bit demented. It's unique as far as I'm concerned. I've never seen anything quite like this. It took me through a range of emotions. It made me laugh. It made me sad. It made me angry. Paul Matthews is in such a no-win scenario you can't help but feel for this character. Think about having your life turned completely inside out over something you have no control over. It might drive you a little bonkers to say the least. You get your usual whacky performance from Cage though maybe not quite as unhinged as it usually is. I can't formulate exactly what this film is trying to say. I'll tell you as I did in my previous review. This isn't going to be for everyone. But if you're looking for something a little off kilter, you can do much worse than this. Currently streaming on MAX if you're so inclined.
*** stars
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0*= Don't waste your time. Pure d.reck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit!b
2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Worth a look. Better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. I'm doing my happy dance!
5 *= Pure eye candy. I have seen the top of the mountain, and it is good
T
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