2026 Best (and Worst)

 Send Help- We kick off the new year with a Sam Raimi experience.  The gross-out horror aficionado brings a tale of survival, isolationism, and some surprising tenderness (in a strange way).  Meet Linda Liddle.  An awkward but hardworking corporate strategist who is looking for her promised promotion from the owner/CEO.  Unfortunately for her, he is no more.  Taking his place is his egotistical, cruel frat boy son who takes an immediate dislike to her.  On a business trip to Thailand to complete a large merger, Linda suffers further ridicule at the hands of the new boss and a few of the ladder-climbing "bros" in his circle.  As fate would have it, the plane goes down and the only survivors are Linda and her boss on what seems to be a deserted island.  Oh, the things that can happen when the role of "boss" is reversed.  If you go through Raimi's filmography, you will see some common themes to his films with the exception of his Spider-Man trilogy.  You'll have a brew of dark humor and over-the-top vomit-inducing gore and nastiness.  As you sit through this one, there are several spots your brain tells you, "Oh yeah, this is Raimi."  What I really liked about Send Help were the clues that were set up regarding Linda's prowess when she and her boss are on the island.  I don't want to say the explanation is subtle, but her proficiency is explained without having to be verbal.  I did like that a lot.  The plot is somewhat surprising.  It is what you think it is, then it's not.  Then it is again.  Then you really don't know where this is going at the climax.  There is some surprising closeness between the lead characters that develops.  Maybe.  Hard to tell because both have agendas.  He makes a play that doesn't make a lot of sense at the time he does it but you'll find later that his instinct may have been spot on.  The film is wild.  It takes you on a journey where you're not exactly sure how it will end.  But I was enthralled for most of it.  Rachel McAdams and Dylan O'Brien star.  

*** 3/4 stars

Ready or Not 2:  Here I Come- Poor Grace MacCaullay can't catch a break.  After surviving a horrific night in 2019's Ready or Not, she discovers the murderous Le Domas family was only the tip of the iceberg.  The Le Domas's were just one of six powerful families involved in a grand bargain for world domination.  Grace's survival has activated a new chain of events that must be addressed in the same blood-soaked manner.  Unfortunately, her estranged sister, Faith, has been forced into the fray to ensure Grace's "cooperation" with the new proceedings.  Ready or Not was an exceptional horror comedy.  The sequel equals more of the same.  It lacks some originality because it is basically the same plot.  But that doesn't mean it isn't still fun.  The kills in the first were more absurdly hilarious than they are here but that's to be expected.  Some of the bickering between the sisters didn't make sense at certain times as fighting to stay alive is never a great time to open up old wounds.  Overall, as far as sequels go, I still had a lot of fun with this one.  But I will say I believe they've ridden this horse as far as they can.  Which only means there will be a third film somewhere down the line.  Samara Weaving, Kathryn Newton, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Elijah Wood, David Cronenberg, and Shawn Hatosy star.

***1/2 stars

They Will Kill You- Following on the heels of last week's Ready or Not 2, another horror comedy enters the area.  Asia Reaves is starting a new job as a maid in the old swanky high rise, The Virgil.  Little does Asia know that her first night will be one she will want to forget.  The Virgil, its staff, and its guests harbor a dark secret Asia unknowingly is a big part of.  However, there's a twist.  Asia herself might also have a reason for being here.  It will be a night of bloody mayhem.  You know sometimes its okay for a movie to just be ridiculous fun.  That's exactly what this is.  Director Kirill Sokolov has crafted such a madcap tale of twisted chaos.  Sometimes the film is almost exhausting.  The action is way over the top and relishes in its gory excess.  And it all comes to a surprisingly clever resolution.  They Will Kill You is nothing that will necessarily stick with you, but it will put a smile on your face in a sardonic way.    Zazie Beetz, Myha'la, Tom Felton, Heather Graham, and Patricia Arquette star.  

***1/2 stars

Primate- Come and listen to my story about a chimp named Ben.  A friendly little guy who was pretty Zen.  Then one day a mongoose bit him and made him cry.  And now Ben wants everyone to die.  Okay, my bad Beverly Hillbillies reimagining aside, that's the film's premise.  Intelligent family pet gets infected with rabies, rips off a few faces, and creates the central life and death struggle of the plot.  If you said this was Cujo replacing a Saint Bernard with a chimp, I wouldn't say you're wrong.  The former is a much better horror-thriller than this one.  Try as it might, Primate just didn't create the same sense of dread or claustrophobia.  And the CG was a bit dicey at times.  I also didn't care much about the horny teenage crew that was getting wrecked.  I've seen worse horror movies, but this one had no charisma about it.  Nothing that amused me due to its ludicrous nature.  Just a movie that took a cute creature and turned him into a psycho killer for...reasons I suppose.

**1/2 stars

Lee Cronin's The Mummy- This reimagining of the iconic horror franchise is written and directed by, who else?  Lee Cronin.  If you're not familiar with his work, he directed 2019's "A Hole in the Ground" and 2023's "Evil Dead Rise" (a personal favorite of mine).  The story follows an American family living in Egypt whose, oldest daughter, Katie, is kidnapped for reasons unknown by her family.  Katie is found eight years later in a sarcophagus, her body wrapped in parchment after a plane crashes carrying said sarcophagus.  Her mother and father, now living in New Mexico, are overjoyed to have their daughter back.  But almost immediately we know something is very wrong with Katie.  Could it be the self-harm?  The slow corruption of her siblings?  The floating?  What could it be?  This is a movie that only works because people are dumb.  Katie's parents knew or SHOULD HAVE known they weren't equipped to handle this the millisecond they saw her in her hospital bed.  When you see her appearance, you'll know what I mean.  That said, I think the brutality and gross imagery this film throws at you is fairly effective.  The funeral wake is something to behold.  Plus, the plot is brought together nicely at the end when some good old frontier justice is served up.  It's revenge that pulled at my heartstrings.  Jack Reynor, Laia Costa, and May Calamawy star.

***1/4 stars

0 *= Dreck!  Barf City! 

1-2 *= No redeeming qualities whatsoever

2-3 *= Varying degrees of mediocre

3-4 *= Worth a look to almost excellent

4-5 *= Must see viewing 

5 *= You have reached the top of the mountain.  And it is good.