Sunday, May 27, 2012

Chernobyl Diaries

Reviews from the Dark Side presents
Chernobyl Diaries
Released 5/25/12, now in theaters

Chernobyl was a real life horror story when it occurred many years ago. Now, it seems it's also the subject matter of fictional horror. Chernobyl Diaries is the first horror release for the Summer 2012 season (I think). I'm a big fan of the genre, but was hesitant to see this when the commercials stated it was from the makers of Paranormal Activity (I'll get to that later). But the horror buff in me had to satisfy its curiosity.

The movie follows six young adults (victims), most tourists, in Russia. The young people (victims) are Chris, his hopefully soon-to-be fiancé, Natalie, Amanda (Natalie's friend), Zoe, Michael, and Paul (Chris' older brother). Americans Chris, Natalie, and Amanda are travelling across Europe and decide to pay Paul a visit in Kiev. Paul has made his residence there and has become well acquainted with the local night life and store owners. This includes ex-Russian Special Forces soldier, Yuri. Yuri talks Paul into taking an "extreme tour" to abandoned Chernobyl for a little sight seeing. Believe it or not, radiation levels are low enough for humans to spend short periods of time there with no physical damage. Paul, always up for an adventure, talks Amanda and Natalie into going with him (see the trouble here?). Chris reluctantly goes along as well. When they meet up with Yuri, they are joined by backpackers, Michael and Zoe, who Yuri has also convinced to go to the extreme. The group of seven (victims) pile into their "Mystery Machine" happily heading to Chernobyl (except for Chris of course).  The main entrance to the city is barred by Russian military. Luckily, Yuri knows a different path into the city not watched by the sentries. This where the group (victims) enters the Terrordome although they don't know it yet. While they are exploring the abandoned ruins, their van is disabled.  The group (victims) has encountered several animals on their journey including a ravaged dog carcass, a mutated fish, and a rampaging bear (really), but none of them would have the mental faculties to disable the vehicle.  Soooooo...there must be something else out there!  Cell phones don't work and no one knows they are in the abandoned city.  Even if they are lucky enough to escape the city limits, will they be safe from the Russian soldiers guarding the borders?

The reason a premise like this works is because the protagonists are so incredibly naïve (read brain dead). You've probably come to the conclusion given the sarcastic nature of my movie description that I hated Chernobyl Diaries.  Not true at all.  It's not a great movie, but it does have some chills and thrills.  I like that the director conveyed a moody, forboding atmosphere that added to the creepiness of the situation.  However, this is a horror movie you've seen before of mutated creatures mutilating the helpless.  As I stated earlier in my review, I had reservations about seeing this movie because it was created by the minds behind Paranormal Activity.  Sorry, but I just didn't get that one.  Where Paranormal Activity was a creative endeavor, it was all bark and no bite.  Chernobyl Diaries has some truly disturbing moments, but it isn't particularly creative.  Maybe someday the producers will get it right and combine creativity with fright. 

As for the "all-star" cast?  I have no idea who they are, but here's a list of names for those who might:  Jesse McCartney, Jonathan Sadowski, Devin Kelley, Olivia Taylor Dudley, Nathan Phillips, Ingrid Berdal, and Dimitri Diatchenko.  I really don't think this movie will make any of them household names, but here's to them if it does.

The Dark Lord of the Sith says:

**1/2 stars

Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit!

2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee.
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here.

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