Dark Shadows

Reviews from the Dark Side presents
Dark Shadows
Released 5/11/12, now in theaters

From the wacky, demented mind of Tim Burton comes his latest venture to re-create a classic Burton style.  Dark Shadows follows Burton's earlier takes on Batman, Planet of the Apes, Sleepy Hollow, and Alice in Wonderland.  He collaborates once again with King of Weird actor, Johnny Depp, who plays the lead role of vampire, Barnabus Collins.  For those who don't know, the original Dark Shadows was a 1960s soap opera.

The Collins family was a wealthy British clan who decided to expand their business to America in the 18th century.  Barnabus is a child when the family moves to the new world settling on the coast of what will be the state of Maine.  The family continues its success in the fishing industry and founds the city of Collinsport, as well as, builds the opulent mansion called Collinwood Manor.  Barnabus has the life most would envy growing up.  As an adult, he has more than his fair share of female attention.  However, there is one he will wish he had never met.  The lady's name is Angelique Bouchard.  She works for the Collins family.  She also happens to be a powerful witch.  Angelique snaps after Barnabus shatters her heart by not returning her love.  She curses the Collins family and soon after, Barnabus' parents die in a strange accident, as well as, any woman who dares get romantically close to him.  This includes the love of his life, Josette, who walks off a high cliff close to the Manor. 

When Barnabus tries to end his life when he can't save her, he gets the shock of his afterlife.  He is now the undead as Angelique has cursed him to be a vampire for eternity.  The vengeful witch (admit it, you thought of something else didn't you) turns the townspeople of Collinsport against Barnabus.  He is captured, chained inside a coffin, and buried.

When Barnabus is inadvertently unburied by construction workers in 1972, he is faced with a new world he doesn't understand, and a Collins family that does not have the clout it once had.  Can he return his family to the respect it once had?  Can he reunite with the family governess, Maggie, who has a haunting resemblance to Josette?  Can he become human again with the help of the family psychiatrist, Dr. Hoffman?  Can he avoid the wrath of Angelique who has also survived into the 20th century and owns a rival fishing/seafood business?

Dark Shadows also stars Michelle Pfeiffer (Elizabeth Collins Stoddard), Helena Bonham Carter (Dr. Hoffman), Eva Green (Angelique), and Chloe Grace Moretz (Carolyn Stoddard).  I think Moretz's performance was a standout as Elizabeth's rebellious, sarcastic daughter.  Of course, there's Depp as well.  No one in Hollywood does off kilter like him.  He should teach a class.  His pale makeup is excellent and makes him look the part of the bloodsucker he is.  And he has fangs (here that Twilight?)!  The movie is humorous, but not laugh out loud funny very often. 

I've heard criticism from hard core Dark Shadows fans who are a bit angry that Tim Burton has turned their beloved soap into a horror comedy.  I would say aren't soap operas comedy anyway?  But I won't deny fans of the soap their anger.  I know how critical I have been of super hero movies like Joel Schumaker's Batman films, the Fantastic Four films, Catwoman, and even Spider-Man 3  for getting characterizations totally wrong.  Spider-Man to a lesser extent.  Don't like how Venom was handled. 

I am a Tim Burton fan and think he has done excellent work in the past.  I might be the only one in the country who liked his rendition of Planet of the Apes.  As a non-Dark Shadows soap convert, I think the film version is a good one.  It's entertaining if not great and is worth a look to movie fans who don't know the soap.  Soap fans, I still think you should check it out for the performances.

The Dark Lord of the Sith says:

***stars

Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit!
2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee.
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here.