Reviews from the Dark Side presents
The Dark Knight Rises
Released 7/20/12, now in theaters
Christopher Nolan's third Batman installment has finally arrived. It's hard to say what movie has been more anticipated this year, The Avengers or TDKR. I bought my ticket well in advance and I had to stand in a line that led at least a block outside the theater to get in last night. That coupled with how outstanding the first two installments were got me even more hyped as I patiently waited in the rain. I just knew this film would easily challenge The Avengers for best movie of the year. And why wouldn't I think that with Christian Bale (Bruce Wayne/Batman), Michael Caine (Alfred Pennyworth), Gary Oldman (Commissioner James Gordon), and Morgan Freeman (Lucius Fox) returning. Add two major new characters played by Anne Hathaway (Selina Kyle) and Tom Hardy (Bane) and a take on the controversial "Knightfall" storyline and you've got the makings for an epic. Without further ado, let's get this review underway.
Eight years have passed since the ending of The Dark Knight. Batman has not been seen in Gotham City since that fateful night he took the blame for Harvey Dent's death. Bruce Wayne has become a recluse and succumbed to his many injuries when he was the Batman. He's lost and seems to have no rhyme or reason to his life now. He's also made horrible business decisions by sinking much of his considerable fortune into a reactor that, in theory, produces unlimited sustainable energy. The reactor was built by Wayne Enterprises' Applied Science Division but has sat in the confines of the company's underground basement for quite awhile with Bruce not giving the go ahead to use it when he discovers the core of the device can be modified into a nuclear weapon.
Enter Bane, an international mercenary who we discover was excommunicated from Ra's al Ghul's League of Shadows for being too dangerous even by their standards. We first encounter Bane in an unknown location "liberating" a scientist from the custody of the CIA. Bane will use this scientist to turn the Wayne Enterprises reactor into a nuclear weapon to threaten Gotham later in the movie. He is brought to GC by Wayne board member, John Daggett, to destroy Bruce's reputation for Daggett's attempted takeover of WE. Bane does his job extremely well and discredits Bruce with an attack on the Gotham Stock Exchange. Bane even "breaks the bat" when Bruce digs the Bat suit out of the mothballs to go after him and takes over his personal arsenal at WE. Bane takes the gravely injured Batman to the hellish prison he once inhabited. Bane has a plan for GC. He's going to complete Ra's al Ghul's original plan from Batman Begins and destroy GC. But first, he'll declare war on Gotham and make its inhabitants suffer before he destroys them. He's also going to make Bruce watch the carnage through television feed in prison while Bruce can only helplessly watch in the confines of his own broken body.
Enter Selina Kyle, a master cat burglar and manipulator who is as skilled a fighter as the Dark Knight. She gets Bruce back in the game so to speak by stealing his mother's famous (infamous?) pearl necklace from his safe at Wayne Manor. Selina has been hired by Daggett's (and Bane's) agent to obtain Bruce's fingerprints (which are used in Bane's stock exchange attack). She becomes strangely attracted to Bruce and his alter ego. However, that doesn't stop her from leading Batman to Bane for their first encounter. Selina begins to have a change of heart when she sees the beating Batman takes from Bane and learns the full depth of Bane's plans. But can she be convinced to put herself on the line and fight by Batman's side in the end?
Commissioner Gordon knows the city has always needed Batman. It never sat well with him that Batman took the blame for Harvey Dent's death eight years ago and that Harvey is considered a hero. Dent did threaten to kill his son when he had his psychotic break after all. On "Harvey Dent Day", Gordon has prepared a speech to set the record straight but decides better of it. Gordon is the first law officer to encounter Bane in the Gotham sewers. He barely escapes with his life. But, he does drop his speech which Bane later reads to the media after he's taken over GC.
John Blake (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is a young patrolman and later detective for the GCPD. He has the idealism that Gordan and Bruce seem to have lost. He puts two and two together and deduces Bruce is Batman (worst kept secret in comic book movies by the way). When Bane takes over the city, he goes underground with Gordon to help the citizens of GC. We later discover that John is Blake's middle name. His first name is "Robin." This information will be significant at the end of the film.
So, now, my opinion of TDKR. Drumroll please. Three things come to mind as I attempt to describe my feelings when I sat through it. The first is...Uuuuuuhhhhh. The second is...Uuuuuummmmm. The third is...Wha' happened?!! TDKR is easily the weakest of Christopher Nolan's trilogy. Nolan has a penchant for making reeeeeeaaaaalllly long movies, but at 2 hours and 45 minutes, this got a bit ridiculous. Now before anyone thinks I'm being negative because of the film's length, that's just not true. I don't mind a long movie when the length of the movie makes sense. I like the first two Godfather movies. Both are long, especially part two. I own all three of the Lord of the Rings movies and the whole Harry Potter collection. Most are long movies. The Dark Knight was extremely long, but an excellent movie. My biggest problem with TDKR is that I just found there to be so much useless exposition. It made the movie plod along for me. Nolan could have easily wiped out 15-20 minutes and still told the story adequately. There's just too many scenes that kind of meant nothing to the plot. The last 20-30 minutes felt like a Transformers movie. Let's prolong it to see more stuff explode.
I didn't think Bruce/Batman was in proper character. I've never known Bruce to be conflicted about his alter ego and never would think he would do what he did at the end. I won't say much more about that for fear of giving too much away. Alfred took the role of a needling harpy. I understand that Alfred is concerned and Bruce is like a son to him. But to tell Bruce he shouldn't be Batman is like telling Bruce not to breathe. DC Comics Knightfall storyline years ago, Alfred leaves briefly when Bruce refuses to slow down after Bane releases the Arkham Asylum inmates. In TDKR, Alfred just doesn't want him to be Batman any longer when Bruce gets the itch again. I think he'd want the hairy bum out of the house. Bruce has been a recluse for years now and only starts wanting to be in the world again when he thinks Batman is needed. And what's with Alfred's dream of one day seeing Bruce at the cafe or wherever it was he envisioned they would be completely leaving his old life. That's just not who Bruce Wayne is. The whole dynamic between Bruce and Alfread just struck a sour chord with me this time.
There is positive news about TDKR. The movie was saved a little in small part to Tom Hardy and in very large part to Anne Hathaway. Hardy is the definitive Bane. Of course, it's not hard to beat the rendition of Bane in Batman and Robin. Bane is portrayed as he should be. Powerful, ruthless, and erudite. He is every bit the match for Batman mentally and physically. The brains of a scholar in the body of a gorilla. Selina is sexy, smart, and deadly. Hathaway's rendition of this character is the best one yet. The formula for success has been so simple. Take the supernatural nonsense out. Hathaway has the attitude and smoldering playfulness of Selina Kyle nailed. Liam Neeson has cameos in fantasy sequences and flashbacks as the long dead Ra's al Ghul. His legacy is fully alive in Bane as he cuts a path of destruction in GC as the new leader of the League of Shadows. But, Bane may not be acting alone. Another character might be pulling his strings to fullfil al Ghul's deadly plan for GC.
Oh, how I wanted this movie to be off the chain. The movie has a great look. The destruction of the Gotham Knights football field is a spectacular effect. NFL fans should look closely at this scene as the Knights are made up of members of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Hines Ward is running the opening kickoff back for the touchdown as the field begins disappearing behind him. I fully expected this movie to compete with The Avengers and Amazing Spider-Man as the best movie of the year. But, sadly it's not in their league. My review and thoughts on TDKR will likely be unpopular. But, I'm not going enter the same group think as so many other critical reviews I've read. I won't lie to anyone who reads my blog. This movie just wasn't up to same standards as the previous two. It falls into the same category as Spider-Man 3 and X-Men: The Last Stand as the worst chapter of a what was shaping up to be a great trilogy.
Instead of a great story, Nolan gave us a great loud bang with little substance. The only things that elevate the film are Hardy's and Hathaway's performance. Those roles alone are worth enduring this disappointing marathon.
The Dark Lord of the Sith says:
***stars
Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste
your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *=
Fuggedaboutit!
2 *= Average, Mediocre,
Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4
*= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee.
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Sunday, July 15, 2012
John Carter
Reviews from the Dark Side presents
John Carter
Released 3/9/12, now on DVD
John Carter is the film adaptation of one part of the late Edgar Rice Burroughs' 11-volume Barsoom series of novels. It is based largely on the first volume, A Princess of Mars. The film is guided by first time live action director, Andrew Stanton (Wall-E, Finding Nemo).
John Carter (Taylor Kitsch) is an ex-Confederate officer. When he first appears, he is desperately attempting to shake a man tailing him through the city. He succeeds briefly enough to send an urgent telegram to his nephew, Ned. When Ned arrives at his uncle's mansion, John has mysteriously died and left Ned some very cryptic rules on how to care for the estate. He finds his uncle's journal and begins to learn the tale of John Carter's adventures 13 years prior to his "death."
After the Civil War, John began gold prospecting in the West where he comes to the attention of the U.S. military outpost in Arizona under the command of Colonel Powell (Bryan Cranston). Powell's outpost is charged with protecting settlers from attacking Apaches. He wants Carter for his reputation as a master horseman and swordsman and "asks" John to help in the policing effort. After escaping the fort with Powell and his cavalry in hot pursuit, John and Powell find themselves in a cave due to a melee with a group of Apaches. It is there that Carter is attacked by being appearing to be a human male wearing strange robes and brandishing a dagger. John kills his attacker and takes a strange looking amulet from the body. Before he knows what has happened he's transported to another world.
John awakes to find that he is different on this world. He can make Hulk-like leaps and has greater strength than he ever imagined he could have (which later is revealed is due to the planet's lesser gravity and human bone density). He soon encounters a race of tall, green, warrior aliens called Tharks who take him prisoner. He is given a liquid to drink by the Jeddak's (king's) daughter so that Carter and the Thark's can understand each other (she's punished severely for this). He learns he is on the planet Barsoom (Mars) and becomes embroiled in a war between two longtime rival cities of Helium and Zodanga when it spills over in Thark land. The inhabitants of these cities look primarily human in appearance with the exception of a reddish tint to their flesh. The Zodangan Jeddak, Sab Than, has an upper hand in the conflict thanks primarily to a destructive weapon provided by a race of beings called the Therns (it's a Thern that attacked John in the cave). The Therns are not of Barsoom. They are a race of conquerors that subjugate worlds by manipulation. With the Therns prodding, Sab Than, offers a cease fire to the Helium Jeddak in exchange for an arranged marriage to his daughter, Dejah Thoris (Lynn Collins). Dejah runs away from her commitment and meets John when he rescues her from pursuing Zondangans. When she learns of John's abilities, she tries to convince the reluctant ex-soldier to fight for her city's cause. War weary John doesn't want to fight another war and only has plans to return to Earth as soon as possible. But, due to his growing attraction to Dejah, he decides to stay on Barsoom just a little longer than expected.
So, John Carter is Marvel's first comic related movie of the year. And while it didn't get nearly the great vibe and love from audiences and critics as Disney's second movie (The Avengers), John Carter is not a bad movie. Not great by any means, but definitely entertaining. The best way to describe the movie is to say it is pretty much the same as its star, Taylor Kitsch. It's servicable. Nothing about it from the special effects to the storyline will leave a lasting impression, but it should entertain you.
I'm sorry. I usually have more to say about the movies I review, but I don't really much more to say about John Carter. It was kind of decent. Nothing more, nothing less. You'll forget about it three minutes after you see it.
The Dark Lord of the Sith says:
*** stars
Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit!
2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee.
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here.
John Carter
Released 3/9/12, now on DVD
John Carter is the film adaptation of one part of the late Edgar Rice Burroughs' 11-volume Barsoom series of novels. It is based largely on the first volume, A Princess of Mars. The film is guided by first time live action director, Andrew Stanton (Wall-E, Finding Nemo).
John Carter (Taylor Kitsch) is an ex-Confederate officer. When he first appears, he is desperately attempting to shake a man tailing him through the city. He succeeds briefly enough to send an urgent telegram to his nephew, Ned. When Ned arrives at his uncle's mansion, John has mysteriously died and left Ned some very cryptic rules on how to care for the estate. He finds his uncle's journal and begins to learn the tale of John Carter's adventures 13 years prior to his "death."
After the Civil War, John began gold prospecting in the West where he comes to the attention of the U.S. military outpost in Arizona under the command of Colonel Powell (Bryan Cranston). Powell's outpost is charged with protecting settlers from attacking Apaches. He wants Carter for his reputation as a master horseman and swordsman and "asks" John to help in the policing effort. After escaping the fort with Powell and his cavalry in hot pursuit, John and Powell find themselves in a cave due to a melee with a group of Apaches. It is there that Carter is attacked by being appearing to be a human male wearing strange robes and brandishing a dagger. John kills his attacker and takes a strange looking amulet from the body. Before he knows what has happened he's transported to another world.
John awakes to find that he is different on this world. He can make Hulk-like leaps and has greater strength than he ever imagined he could have (which later is revealed is due to the planet's lesser gravity and human bone density). He soon encounters a race of tall, green, warrior aliens called Tharks who take him prisoner. He is given a liquid to drink by the Jeddak's (king's) daughter so that Carter and the Thark's can understand each other (she's punished severely for this). He learns he is on the planet Barsoom (Mars) and becomes embroiled in a war between two longtime rival cities of Helium and Zodanga when it spills over in Thark land. The inhabitants of these cities look primarily human in appearance with the exception of a reddish tint to their flesh. The Zodangan Jeddak, Sab Than, has an upper hand in the conflict thanks primarily to a destructive weapon provided by a race of beings called the Therns (it's a Thern that attacked John in the cave). The Therns are not of Barsoom. They are a race of conquerors that subjugate worlds by manipulation. With the Therns prodding, Sab Than, offers a cease fire to the Helium Jeddak in exchange for an arranged marriage to his daughter, Dejah Thoris (Lynn Collins). Dejah runs away from her commitment and meets John when he rescues her from pursuing Zondangans. When she learns of John's abilities, she tries to convince the reluctant ex-soldier to fight for her city's cause. War weary John doesn't want to fight another war and only has plans to return to Earth as soon as possible. But, due to his growing attraction to Dejah, he decides to stay on Barsoom just a little longer than expected.
So, John Carter is Marvel's first comic related movie of the year. And while it didn't get nearly the great vibe and love from audiences and critics as Disney's second movie (The Avengers), John Carter is not a bad movie. Not great by any means, but definitely entertaining. The best way to describe the movie is to say it is pretty much the same as its star, Taylor Kitsch. It's servicable. Nothing about it from the special effects to the storyline will leave a lasting impression, but it should entertain you.
I'm sorry. I usually have more to say about the movies I review, but I don't really much more to say about John Carter. It was kind of decent. Nothing more, nothing less. You'll forget about it three minutes after you see it.
The Dark Lord of the Sith says:
*** stars
Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit!
2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee.
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Savages
Reviews from the Dark Side presents
Savages
Released 7/6/12, now in theaters
Director, Oliver Stone, returns to theaters this weekend with his latest thriller, Savages. Savages is based on the novel of the same name by Don Winslow. The cast includes Taylor Kitsch, Aaron Johnson, Blake Lively, Salma Hayek, Benicio del Toro, and John Travolta.
Ben (Johnson) and Chon (Kitsch) live a fantasy life due to their thriving marijuana business. Ben is a graduate of Berkeley double majoring in business and botany. He's a Buddhist who has an aversion to violence. Chon, on the other hand, has absolutely no problem with violence. He's a former SEAL with tours of duty in Afghanistan and Iraq. He's also haunted by his experiences in battle. Ben and Chon met in Laguna Beach years ago and became the best of friends. They own a beach house in Laguna Beach, expensive cars, and have tons of cash. Both also have an intimate relationship with the same woman, O (Lively). They grow the best weed on the West Coast and intentionally try to stay under the radar of the large drug cartels. However, when you have the best growing methods, distribution channels, and product, you can't stay hidden forever. Ben and Chon are approached by agents of the Baja Cartel led by the ruthless, Elena Sanchez (Hayek). Elena rules with an iron fist primarily due to her psychotic enforcer, Lado (del Toro) who may or may not be totally on her side. The Cartel wants a piece of Ben and Chon's business. When they refuse, O is kidnapped and held to make the partners comply. Knowing that the three of them won't make it out alive even if they produce for the cartel, Ben and Chon launch a plan that includes misdirection, theft, a crooked DEA Agent (Travolta), and a kidnapping of their own to turn the tide.
One thing I liked about Savages is the depth added to the some characters in the film. Elena is a ruthless drug lord, but we discover that she was thrust into this role reluctantly. She develops a pseudo mother/daughter relationship with the kidnapped O partly because her living children want very little, if anything, to do with her. She's a tragic character who has motivations beyond the simply evil ones she developed out of necessity. Even the slimy DEA Agent is not on the take for greed alone, although that is at least half his motivation. He has a family that he is desperate to protect even if it means playing on both sides of the fence in this war.
What I wasn't crazy about in Savages was the ending. I've never read Winslow's book so I am uncertain if the film is true to his text. The ending just seemed a little too clean considering all the volatile personalities involved in the final showdown. I guess it's a good ending if you are a sucker for happy ones. I don't mind happy ones necessarily, but given the blinding violence through much of the movie, I was kind of expecting a "blaze of glory" type of last stand. We are introduced to another possible ending through a type of dream sequence. It would have been more apropos considering the bond between Ben, Chon, and O, if not also very weird at the same time.
Savages isan entertaining, if not spectacular, summer movie. If there are any summer blockbusters you haven't seen to date that interest you, it would be good not to skip them in favor of this.
The Dark Lord of the Sith says:
***stars
Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit!
2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee.
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Moonrise Kingdom
Reviews from the Dark Side presents
Moonrise Kingdom
Released 5/25/12, now in theaters in limited release
Moonrise Kingdom is director, Wes Anderson's, latest kooky dramedy. This is kind of a strange movie to release amidst the Summer mega blockbusters. It has been receiving good press in its limited release so my curiosity was piqued. Moonrise Kingdom has an all star cast including Bill Murray, Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, Frances McDormand, Jason Schwartzman,and Tilda Swinton. Jared Gilman and Kara Hayward make their big screen debuts as the principal protagonists of the film.
The location is a small, unnamed New England island town in 1965. Twelve year olds Sam Shakusky (Gilman) and Suzy Bishop (Hayward) devise a plan to run away together. Neither has a great home life. Sam is an orphan currently in foster care. He's a smart kid who gains a level of survivalist training as a "Khaki Scout." He has no friends and is considered the weird kid among the other scouts. Suzy comes from a well-to-do family on the island, but she is far from a happy child. She has an explosive temper that her classmates have seen more than once. She lives with her lawyer parents, Walt and Laura (Murray and McDormand), and her three brothers. Her parents have an amiable relationship but not a great deal of affection for each other. Laura has sought affection outside the relationship with the local law enforcement officer, Captain Sharp (Willis).
Sam and Suzy met the previous summer during a church play and remain pen pals over the next year. They make a secret vow to run away the next summer. Sam breaks away from his troupe and Scout Master Ward (Norton) in the night and meets Suzy in a meadow. The two grow closer while they're on the run from all authorities on the island. They are able to elude capture for awhile. When they are finally caught, Walt forbids Suzy to see Sam again. Sam's foster parents no longer want him, so he is taken in temporarily by Captain Sharp until Social Services (Swinton) arrives on the island to retrieve the boy. All hope seems lost for the young couple, but they might receive help in unexpected places. That help also needs to come fast as the storm of the century is ready to hit the small island.
If you are expecting huge laughs from Moonrise Kingdom, you are seeing the wrong film. The laughs come more as chuckles to mildly amusing scenes. The good thing is there are enough of these chuckles to keep the movie from being dreary. We are talking about two kids that have behavioral issues after all. The romance between Sam and Suzy is sweet without being gross. Hold on. Suzy does allow Sam to touch her chest while they are roaming around in their underwear on the beach and they do a little Frenching. OK, forget what I said about not being at least a little gross at times. While the supporting characters are messed up just enough to be interesting, it is still the two pre-teens that carry the movie and they do it very well. They might have a future if they continue acting.
Moonrise Kingdom is the perfect movie if you are looking for something a little artsy and/or if you are tired of or not a fan of the huge summer spectacles. It's a quirky little movie with two sharp performances. However, I'm not quite sure what all the fuss is about.
The Dark Lord of the Sith says:
***stars
Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit! 2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee.
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here.
Moonrise Kingdom
Released 5/25/12, now in theaters in limited release
Moonrise Kingdom is director, Wes Anderson's, latest kooky dramedy. This is kind of a strange movie to release amidst the Summer mega blockbusters. It has been receiving good press in its limited release so my curiosity was piqued. Moonrise Kingdom has an all star cast including Bill Murray, Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, Frances McDormand, Jason Schwartzman,and Tilda Swinton. Jared Gilman and Kara Hayward make their big screen debuts as the principal protagonists of the film.
The location is a small, unnamed New England island town in 1965. Twelve year olds Sam Shakusky (Gilman) and Suzy Bishop (Hayward) devise a plan to run away together. Neither has a great home life. Sam is an orphan currently in foster care. He's a smart kid who gains a level of survivalist training as a "Khaki Scout." He has no friends and is considered the weird kid among the other scouts. Suzy comes from a well-to-do family on the island, but she is far from a happy child. She has an explosive temper that her classmates have seen more than once. She lives with her lawyer parents, Walt and Laura (Murray and McDormand), and her three brothers. Her parents have an amiable relationship but not a great deal of affection for each other. Laura has sought affection outside the relationship with the local law enforcement officer, Captain Sharp (Willis).
Sam and Suzy met the previous summer during a church play and remain pen pals over the next year. They make a secret vow to run away the next summer. Sam breaks away from his troupe and Scout Master Ward (Norton) in the night and meets Suzy in a meadow. The two grow closer while they're on the run from all authorities on the island. They are able to elude capture for awhile. When they are finally caught, Walt forbids Suzy to see Sam again. Sam's foster parents no longer want him, so he is taken in temporarily by Captain Sharp until Social Services (Swinton) arrives on the island to retrieve the boy. All hope seems lost for the young couple, but they might receive help in unexpected places. That help also needs to come fast as the storm of the century is ready to hit the small island.
If you are expecting huge laughs from Moonrise Kingdom, you are seeing the wrong film. The laughs come more as chuckles to mildly amusing scenes. The good thing is there are enough of these chuckles to keep the movie from being dreary. We are talking about two kids that have behavioral issues after all. The romance between Sam and Suzy is sweet without being gross. Hold on. Suzy does allow Sam to touch her chest while they are roaming around in their underwear on the beach and they do a little Frenching. OK, forget what I said about not being at least a little gross at times. While the supporting characters are messed up just enough to be interesting, it is still the two pre-teens that carry the movie and they do it very well. They might have a future if they continue acting.
Moonrise Kingdom is the perfect movie if you are looking for something a little artsy and/or if you are tired of or not a fan of the huge summer spectacles. It's a quirky little movie with two sharp performances. However, I'm not quite sure what all the fuss is about.
The Dark Lord of the Sith says:
***stars
Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit! 2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee.
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
The Amazing Spider-Man
Reviews from the Dark Side presents
The Amazing Spider-Man
Released 7/3/12, now in theaters
Marvel's third movie release of the year has arrived. The reboot of The Amazing Spider-Man has gotten kind of a rough ride from the public before its release because, well, it's a reboot that many didn't think needed to happen. This time around the Sam Raimi/Tobey Maguire/Kirsten Dunst triumvirate is replaced by Marc Webb/Andrew Garfield/Emma Stone, although Stone is playing a different "love of Peter Parker's life" than Dunst. So, where does Sony's reboot fit in with the stable of Marvel movies of the year? Is it closer to the sad waste of time that was Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance or does it fall near the epic Avengers?
Most should know the story of Peter Parker by now. Nerdy, unpopular, brilliant teenage boy makes a fateful trip to a science lab where he's bitten by a radioactive/genetically altered spider depending on which Spider-Man era you are following. Instead of becoming deathly ill, Peter finds that the spider has transferred its abilities to him. He's a bit arrogant and selfish after he gains his power and fails to act when a thief runs by him. Said thief later murders his beloved uncle. Peter learns the great Spidey mantra "with great power comes great responsibility." Peter vows to use his power to help the helpless.
In this movie, Spider-Man's origin doesn't seem connected to blind fate as much as it seems inevitable. Young Peter is playing a game of hide and seek when he enters his father's home office to find it ransacked. Richard Parker packs up his hidden research notes and he and Mary Parker take Peter to Richard's brother, Ben (Martin Sheen) and his wife, May (Sally Field). This will be the last time Peter sees his parents. Flash about ten years later and Peter (Garfield) is an awkward teenager who takes pictures for the high school paper/yearbook. One of his favorite photo subjects is fellow classmate and Science geek, Gwen Stacy (Stone), although she doesn't know that. Peter discovers his father's notes in his aunt's/uncle's basement and discovers a couple of things about his father. Before Richard disappeared, he worked at Oscorp (remember them from the Sam Raimi movies?) as a gene scientist experimenting with spiders. He and his partner, Dr. Curtis Connors (Rhys Ifans) were attempting develop a way to isolate certain traits in animals and apply them to humans. What if a person with Alzheimer's disease was able to regenerate brain cells? What if humans could regenerate limbs? Richard seemed to be on track to solving the riddle.
Peter lies to get into an Oscorp tour which Gwen is conducting as Dr. Connors' intern. Peter breaks away from the group and into the lab where it seems his father's work has been continued. These spiders have been exposed to the drug, Oz. Peter leaves the lab, but one pesky arachnid has hitched a ride. There's the fateful bite and Peter soon finds that he can handle himself very well against multiple assailants on the subway. So, of course one of the first things a picked on teen is going to do is get even with the school bully, in this case, Eugene "Flash" Thompson. He emabarasses Flash on the school basketball court, punctuates victory with a dunk than literally tears the rim down. After he is reprimanded by the school and his uncle, he actually gets closer to Gwen.
But, this is Peter Parker we're talking about so you know something bad will happen since things seem to be going his way. It happens after an argument with his Uncle Ben, and Peter storms out of the house. Ben follows. Peter goes to a convenience store to buy a bottle of chocolate milk. Peter tries to take a couple pennies from the "leave a penny, pick a penny" jar to pay, the cashier refuses to sell the milk to him because it's against store policy to use this jar for purchases under $10. A thief standing behind Peter steals the money from the register and runs out. When the cashier asks Peter for help stopping the thief, Peter sarcastically tells him it's against his policy. This same thief runs into Ben on the street and when the two men struggle for the thief's gun, it goes off and kills Ben. Peter goes on a one man crusade to find his Uncle's killer and is inspired by a poster of a masked wrestler. He sews his costume (he already created his web shooters) and Spider-Man is born.
And the bad Parker luck is in full swing when Dr. Connors takes a liking to Peter as he discovers he is his old partner's son. Peter and Connors are able to solve the riddle of the gene sequence that allows regeneration using reptilian DNA. The experiment on mice appears to be successful (until Peter finds the mouse with the regenerated limb eating another mouse). When Connors is pressured by the dying Norman Osborn's right hand man to start human trials, Connors refuses and is told to clear out his office. In a last ditch effort keep his job, Connors injects the regeneration serum into himself. His missing arm is regenerated but there is one major side effect. The reptilian mixture is turning Connors into a humanoid reptilian being, and starts to drive him quite mad. Thus, the movie's
upcoming smackdown between Spider-Man and The Lizard is set in motion.
As I previously mentioned, there has been a lot of negativity hurled this film's way before its opening. The negative reviews I have read from moviegoer and critic alike seem to stem from a few things. A reboot of the franchise was not necessary. We've seen this story before. Why were Sam Raimi and Tobey Maguire replaced? Well the real reason for this movie is that Sony doesn't want to lose a cash cow franchise. The reason why I didn't mind a new team handling the adventures of the Webhead is, let's face it, Spider-Man 3 wasn't that good. It wasn't horrible, but just not up to the standards of the first two. So, I want to ask the group that didn't want a reboot, why not? Batman has been rebooted. Superman will be rebooted. Granted those two franchises need/ed it more than Spider-Man, but, I say so what? We're getting our web slinger back! Rejoice! Especially since this is an awesome movie. Of course, this is a rehashing of old material. What popular super hero's origin hasn't been told ad nauseam? Didn't we already know that Bruce Wayne's parents were gunned down when Batman Begins was released? Don't we know that Kal-El's home planet of Krypton explodes before Man of Steel is released? Batman Begins made plenty of money as I'm sure Man of Steel will, also. This movie, while it feels familiar, does offer some nice tweaks to the origin such as Peter's father being somewhat responsible for his son's spider powers.
The performances are top notch. I have never seen Andrew Garfield before this movie. He plays Peter as the awkward teenager he should be, but he adds a little bite the role, too. Peter's no wallflower as he stands up to Flash before he obtains his powers (and pays for it dearly). He plays Peter, at times, as an angry, disrespectful teen which did come across as a little odd. But Peter also has a big heart. It's partly his fault the Lizard exists and he'll die trying to stop him. I think Emma Stone is one of the better young actresses in Hollywood today. Gwen Stacy is on the same intellectual plane with Peter Parker. You never get the sense she's a damsel in distress that needs to be saved. It's refreshing because many of the female leads/love interests in these type of movies are useless and bring nothing to the table. They're there to be saved. Nothing more. There should be an Oscar in Emma Stone's future. Not for this necessarily, but sometime. And hey Denis Leary fans, he's in this movie, too, as Gwen's father, Police Captain George Stacy. Leary is a sufficiently grizzled veteran of the NYPD who loves his daughter and doesn't think much of her new boyfriend at first.
I believe this film has captured Spider-Man's movements better than any of the predecessors. Very often when Peter/Spider-Man fought, he was a blur. That's how it should be. It's supposed to be extremely hard to touch him. Andrew Garfield's body type fits Spider-Man's profile perfectly, long, lithe, and acrobatic. The CG on the Lizard is very good, although I would have liked the head to look a little less human. The Lizard still looks to have a large human like head.
While the movie has more sinister overtones than its predecessors, it does have a sense of humor. Peter accidentally breaking everything in his house because he doesn't know his new found strength is hilarious. If you have read the Spider-Man comics forever like I have, you know the ultimate fate of the Stacy family. Part of that story comes to pass in ASM. Stick around during the end credits as you will be introduced to a figure in the shadows that might be, arguably, the Web Slinger's greatest foe.
Just so you know that I'm not the type of fanboy that loves everything Spider-Man no matter what, I'm going to say something that might bring me a lot of flak. I liked the first two Sam Raimi movies. While the general consensus is that Spider-Man 2 was the best in the Raimi trilogy, I couldn't vehemently disagree more. The overly long, meandering middle act of that movie is hard for me to sit through now. Actually, I don't really want to sit through it any longer. Don't misunderstand me. I liked Spider-Man 2. I'm just not found of movies that go on longer than they should. I believe it was almost an hour from the time Peter decided not to be Spider-Man to the time he donned the mask again. Too much Aunt May, too much pining for Mary Jane, not enough Spidey action which I guess is the point, but it still went on too long. So, now that you know that I can be critical of a beloved Spider-Man movie, believe me when I say ASM is worth seeing. In my opinion, it's the best of the big screen Spidey movies. This movie is to the Sam Raimi Spider-Man movies what the Christopher Nolan movies are to the Tim Burton Batman movies. The latter movies are good, but the former movies are amazing. I'm not going to tell audiences to see or not see a movie. Make up your own mind. I will say that if you decide not to see ASM for any of the reasons I mentioned earlier in this review, you're missing out on something special here.
The Dark Lord of the Sith says:
*****stars
Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit! 2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee.
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here.
The Amazing Spider-Man
Released 7/3/12, now in theaters
Marvel's third movie release of the year has arrived. The reboot of The Amazing Spider-Man has gotten kind of a rough ride from the public before its release because, well, it's a reboot that many didn't think needed to happen. This time around the Sam Raimi/Tobey Maguire/Kirsten Dunst triumvirate is replaced by Marc Webb/Andrew Garfield/Emma Stone, although Stone is playing a different "love of Peter Parker's life" than Dunst. So, where does Sony's reboot fit in with the stable of Marvel movies of the year? Is it closer to the sad waste of time that was Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance or does it fall near the epic Avengers?
Most should know the story of Peter Parker by now. Nerdy, unpopular, brilliant teenage boy makes a fateful trip to a science lab where he's bitten by a radioactive/genetically altered spider depending on which Spider-Man era you are following. Instead of becoming deathly ill, Peter finds that the spider has transferred its abilities to him. He's a bit arrogant and selfish after he gains his power and fails to act when a thief runs by him. Said thief later murders his beloved uncle. Peter learns the great Spidey mantra "with great power comes great responsibility." Peter vows to use his power to help the helpless.
In this movie, Spider-Man's origin doesn't seem connected to blind fate as much as it seems inevitable. Young Peter is playing a game of hide and seek when he enters his father's home office to find it ransacked. Richard Parker packs up his hidden research notes and he and Mary Parker take Peter to Richard's brother, Ben (Martin Sheen) and his wife, May (Sally Field). This will be the last time Peter sees his parents. Flash about ten years later and Peter (Garfield) is an awkward teenager who takes pictures for the high school paper/yearbook. One of his favorite photo subjects is fellow classmate and Science geek, Gwen Stacy (Stone), although she doesn't know that. Peter discovers his father's notes in his aunt's/uncle's basement and discovers a couple of things about his father. Before Richard disappeared, he worked at Oscorp (remember them from the Sam Raimi movies?) as a gene scientist experimenting with spiders. He and his partner, Dr. Curtis Connors (Rhys Ifans) were attempting develop a way to isolate certain traits in animals and apply them to humans. What if a person with Alzheimer's disease was able to regenerate brain cells? What if humans could regenerate limbs? Richard seemed to be on track to solving the riddle.
Peter lies to get into an Oscorp tour which Gwen is conducting as Dr. Connors' intern. Peter breaks away from the group and into the lab where it seems his father's work has been continued. These spiders have been exposed to the drug, Oz. Peter leaves the lab, but one pesky arachnid has hitched a ride. There's the fateful bite and Peter soon finds that he can handle himself very well against multiple assailants on the subway. So, of course one of the first things a picked on teen is going to do is get even with the school bully, in this case, Eugene "Flash" Thompson. He emabarasses Flash on the school basketball court, punctuates victory with a dunk than literally tears the rim down. After he is reprimanded by the school and his uncle, he actually gets closer to Gwen.
But, this is Peter Parker we're talking about so you know something bad will happen since things seem to be going his way. It happens after an argument with his Uncle Ben, and Peter storms out of the house. Ben follows. Peter goes to a convenience store to buy a bottle of chocolate milk. Peter tries to take a couple pennies from the "leave a penny, pick a penny" jar to pay, the cashier refuses to sell the milk to him because it's against store policy to use this jar for purchases under $10. A thief standing behind Peter steals the money from the register and runs out. When the cashier asks Peter for help stopping the thief, Peter sarcastically tells him it's against his policy. This same thief runs into Ben on the street and when the two men struggle for the thief's gun, it goes off and kills Ben. Peter goes on a one man crusade to find his Uncle's killer and is inspired by a poster of a masked wrestler. He sews his costume (he already created his web shooters) and Spider-Man is born.
And the bad Parker luck is in full swing when Dr. Connors takes a liking to Peter as he discovers he is his old partner's son. Peter and Connors are able to solve the riddle of the gene sequence that allows regeneration using reptilian DNA. The experiment on mice appears to be successful (until Peter finds the mouse with the regenerated limb eating another mouse). When Connors is pressured by the dying Norman Osborn's right hand man to start human trials, Connors refuses and is told to clear out his office. In a last ditch effort keep his job, Connors injects the regeneration serum into himself. His missing arm is regenerated but there is one major side effect. The reptilian mixture is turning Connors into a humanoid reptilian being, and starts to drive him quite mad. Thus, the movie's
upcoming smackdown between Spider-Man and The Lizard is set in motion.
As I previously mentioned, there has been a lot of negativity hurled this film's way before its opening. The negative reviews I have read from moviegoer and critic alike seem to stem from a few things. A reboot of the franchise was not necessary. We've seen this story before. Why were Sam Raimi and Tobey Maguire replaced? Well the real reason for this movie is that Sony doesn't want to lose a cash cow franchise. The reason why I didn't mind a new team handling the adventures of the Webhead is, let's face it, Spider-Man 3 wasn't that good. It wasn't horrible, but just not up to the standards of the first two. So, I want to ask the group that didn't want a reboot, why not? Batman has been rebooted. Superman will be rebooted. Granted those two franchises need/ed it more than Spider-Man, but, I say so what? We're getting our web slinger back! Rejoice! Especially since this is an awesome movie. Of course, this is a rehashing of old material. What popular super hero's origin hasn't been told ad nauseam? Didn't we already know that Bruce Wayne's parents were gunned down when Batman Begins was released? Don't we know that Kal-El's home planet of Krypton explodes before Man of Steel is released? Batman Begins made plenty of money as I'm sure Man of Steel will, also. This movie, while it feels familiar, does offer some nice tweaks to the origin such as Peter's father being somewhat responsible for his son's spider powers.
The performances are top notch. I have never seen Andrew Garfield before this movie. He plays Peter as the awkward teenager he should be, but he adds a little bite the role, too. Peter's no wallflower as he stands up to Flash before he obtains his powers (and pays for it dearly). He plays Peter, at times, as an angry, disrespectful teen which did come across as a little odd. But Peter also has a big heart. It's partly his fault the Lizard exists and he'll die trying to stop him. I think Emma Stone is one of the better young actresses in Hollywood today. Gwen Stacy is on the same intellectual plane with Peter Parker. You never get the sense she's a damsel in distress that needs to be saved. It's refreshing because many of the female leads/love interests in these type of movies are useless and bring nothing to the table. They're there to be saved. Nothing more. There should be an Oscar in Emma Stone's future. Not for this necessarily, but sometime. And hey Denis Leary fans, he's in this movie, too, as Gwen's father, Police Captain George Stacy. Leary is a sufficiently grizzled veteran of the NYPD who loves his daughter and doesn't think much of her new boyfriend at first.
I believe this film has captured Spider-Man's movements better than any of the predecessors. Very often when Peter/Spider-Man fought, he was a blur. That's how it should be. It's supposed to be extremely hard to touch him. Andrew Garfield's body type fits Spider-Man's profile perfectly, long, lithe, and acrobatic. The CG on the Lizard is very good, although I would have liked the head to look a little less human. The Lizard still looks to have a large human like head.
While the movie has more sinister overtones than its predecessors, it does have a sense of humor. Peter accidentally breaking everything in his house because he doesn't know his new found strength is hilarious. If you have read the Spider-Man comics forever like I have, you know the ultimate fate of the Stacy family. Part of that story comes to pass in ASM. Stick around during the end credits as you will be introduced to a figure in the shadows that might be, arguably, the Web Slinger's greatest foe.
Just so you know that I'm not the type of fanboy that loves everything Spider-Man no matter what, I'm going to say something that might bring me a lot of flak. I liked the first two Sam Raimi movies. While the general consensus is that Spider-Man 2 was the best in the Raimi trilogy, I couldn't vehemently disagree more. The overly long, meandering middle act of that movie is hard for me to sit through now. Actually, I don't really want to sit through it any longer. Don't misunderstand me. I liked Spider-Man 2. I'm just not found of movies that go on longer than they should. I believe it was almost an hour from the time Peter decided not to be Spider-Man to the time he donned the mask again. Too much Aunt May, too much pining for Mary Jane, not enough Spidey action which I guess is the point, but it still went on too long. So, now that you know that I can be critical of a beloved Spider-Man movie, believe me when I say ASM is worth seeing. In my opinion, it's the best of the big screen Spidey movies. This movie is to the Sam Raimi Spider-Man movies what the Christopher Nolan movies are to the Tim Burton Batman movies. The latter movies are good, but the former movies are amazing. I'm not going to tell audiences to see or not see a movie. Make up your own mind. I will say that if you decide not to see ASM for any of the reasons I mentioned earlier in this review, you're missing out on something special here.
The Dark Lord of the Sith says:
*****stars
Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit! 2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee.
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Madea's Witness Protection
Reviews from the Dark Side presents
Madea's Witness Protection
Released 6/29/12, now in theaters
Madea's Witness Protection is writer/director Tyler Perry's latest installment starring his most popular character to date. As usual, Perry stars in the role as the titular character and does double duty as supporting characters Joe (Madea's brother) and Brian Simmons (Madea's nephew, Joe's son). Eugene Levy, Denise Richards, and Doris Roberts are introduced to the Perry madness for the first time. This is the first film in the Madea franchise that is not adapted from a Perry play.
George Needleman (Levy) is the CFO of his company who becomes the corporate fall guy when the company is busted due to a Ponzi scheme. Several charities have been bilked of their money without Levy's knowledge. Not only does George face jail time, but he is also pursued by mobsters that invested with his company for money laundering purposes. After receiving a dead rat in a box from the mob, George has no choice but to surrender to authorities. Since the money trail can be traced back to Atlanta, the Atlanta D.A.'s office is prosecuting the case. Enter Assistant D.A., Brian Simmons. Since George is fully cooperating with authorities, Brian needs a safe place to stow the Needlemans away until the trial.
And who can protect them better than Brian's six foot tall, no-nonsense, gun-toting aunt, Madea. Of course, Madea isn't onboard with hiding the family until she learns it's a $4,000/month gig. So, Madea takes in the Needleman clan. Aside from terminally confused George, there's his loving but frustrated wife, Kate (Richards), his disrespectful daughter from his first marriage, Cindy, his awkward son with Kate, Howie, and his senile mother, Barbara (Roberts). When the Needlemans arrive at Madea's home, it's a race against time for George to assist Brian in clearing his name before Madea loses it and shoots a family member.
I'm not the hugest fan of Tyler Perry's plays/movies. He has created some hilariously funny characters, like Madea. The guy does have a twisted sense of humor and I love that. But his work strattles the line of raucous comedy and sad melodrama with no rhyme or reason much of the time. I guess what I want Perry to do, especially with a Madea movie, is pick a lane. Well I'm happy to say this time he did pick the pure comedy lane, and it worked. This is a fun romp. The movie never strays far from its comedic root. This is the first Tyler Perry movie that I say I truly liked from beginning to end.
Madea is her usual cantankerous self, making ridiculous substitutions for words (like "Yoda" for "Yoga"). She's a force of nature you don't sass anywhere on the planet, especially in her house as Cindy quickly discovers. The rash of insults hurled between Madea and Joe is comic gold. There's even a subplot involving George's parentage. Hint. He may be closer to the Simmons family than anyone thinks.
I have given Tyler Perry a rough ride in the past, but this time, I have to say Good Job!
The Dark Lord of the Sith says:
*** stars
Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit! 2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee.
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here.
Madea's Witness Protection
Released 6/29/12, now in theaters
Madea's Witness Protection is writer/director Tyler Perry's latest installment starring his most popular character to date. As usual, Perry stars in the role as the titular character and does double duty as supporting characters Joe (Madea's brother) and Brian Simmons (Madea's nephew, Joe's son). Eugene Levy, Denise Richards, and Doris Roberts are introduced to the Perry madness for the first time. This is the first film in the Madea franchise that is not adapted from a Perry play.
George Needleman (Levy) is the CFO of his company who becomes the corporate fall guy when the company is busted due to a Ponzi scheme. Several charities have been bilked of their money without Levy's knowledge. Not only does George face jail time, but he is also pursued by mobsters that invested with his company for money laundering purposes. After receiving a dead rat in a box from the mob, George has no choice but to surrender to authorities. Since the money trail can be traced back to Atlanta, the Atlanta D.A.'s office is prosecuting the case. Enter Assistant D.A., Brian Simmons. Since George is fully cooperating with authorities, Brian needs a safe place to stow the Needlemans away until the trial.
And who can protect them better than Brian's six foot tall, no-nonsense, gun-toting aunt, Madea. Of course, Madea isn't onboard with hiding the family until she learns it's a $4,000/month gig. So, Madea takes in the Needleman clan. Aside from terminally confused George, there's his loving but frustrated wife, Kate (Richards), his disrespectful daughter from his first marriage, Cindy, his awkward son with Kate, Howie, and his senile mother, Barbara (Roberts). When the Needlemans arrive at Madea's home, it's a race against time for George to assist Brian in clearing his name before Madea loses it and shoots a family member.
I'm not the hugest fan of Tyler Perry's plays/movies. He has created some hilariously funny characters, like Madea. The guy does have a twisted sense of humor and I love that. But his work strattles the line of raucous comedy and sad melodrama with no rhyme or reason much of the time. I guess what I want Perry to do, especially with a Madea movie, is pick a lane. Well I'm happy to say this time he did pick the pure comedy lane, and it worked. This is a fun romp. The movie never strays far from its comedic root. This is the first Tyler Perry movie that I say I truly liked from beginning to end.
Madea is her usual cantankerous self, making ridiculous substitutions for words (like "Yoda" for "Yoga"). She's a force of nature you don't sass anywhere on the planet, especially in her house as Cindy quickly discovers. The rash of insults hurled between Madea and Joe is comic gold. There's even a subplot involving George's parentage. Hint. He may be closer to the Simmons family than anyone thinks.
I have given Tyler Perry a rough ride in the past, but this time, I have to say Good Job!
The Dark Lord of the Sith says:
*** stars
Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit! 2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee.
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here.
Ted
Reviews from the Dark Side presents
Ted
Released 6/29/12, now in theaters
Ted is Family Guy creator, Seth MacFarlane's, first venture at directing a major motion picture. So the question most might have is does Macfarlane's style translate to the big screen in a live action movie? He's resting his hopes on a cast including Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Patrick Warburton, and himself as the voice of the titular character.
John Bennett is an unpopular boy. So unpopular, that even a Jewish kid that is being pummeled by the neighborhood boys tells him to get lost. Things change when John receives a teddy bear as a Christmas gift. The bear becomes John's constant companion. Then, one fateful, rainy night, John makes a wish for his "friend" Ted to be real. Unknown to John, there is a shooting star passing over his house when he makes his wish. John gets the shock of his young life when he finds his bear walking and talking the next morning. After freaking out John's parents, "Ted" is introduced into the world and becomes an overnight sensation (even apppearing on The Tonight Show w/Johnny Carson). Flash forward 25 years or so, and Ted is no longer the overnight sensation he used to be. In fact, Ted has suffered the fate of many a celebrity that entered the public consciousness like a ball of fire. As the narrator quaintly states "nobody f#$&\g cares." Ted (voice of McFarlane using the Peter Griffin persona) spends his days toking with the now 35 year old John (Wahlberg). John has a dead end job at a car rental company and a live-in girlfriend, Lori (Kunis). John and Lori love each other very much. There's just one problem. Ted lives in the apartment, too. To say Ted is a bad influence on John is the understatement of the millennium. When Lori suggests to John that Ted move out, it starts a downward spiral for the three that involves a bear/man fistfight, Flash Gordon, and a bear kidnapping by a weird, backwards father-son duo.
Ted is crass, rude, obnoxious, and a complete laugh riot. The laughs come fast and furious from the opening narration. MacFarlane's usual knack for spoofing pop culture is done better in Ted than it's been done in Family Guy for the last couple years. He apparently has a great love or maybe, it's love to hate thing for the horrible '80s remake of Flash Gordon. It is one of the greatest "so horrible it's good" movies going, so any movie that invokes this "masterpiece" has a shot in my book. The animation on the character, Ted, is flawless. He really does walk and talk as if he were real. Ted's facial expressions mimic human emotion down the movement of his eyebrows. The "romance vs. bromance" theme is very familiar but it never gets stale in Ted because the comedy doesn't slow down. Through all its characters' crude language and sometimes boorish behavior, the movie does have heart and teaches life lessons albeit in a twisted MacFarlane kind of way.
My only initial complaint about Ted is the constant marijuana use. Drug use as a comedic device has been done to death and I don't always find people, or, in this case, things getting wasted particularly funny. Yes, the concept of a large teddy bear toking is initially great, but that's really much of what Ted and John do when they're alone together.
In addition to the initial cast I mentioned, Family Guy alum, Alex Borstein, plays young John's mother. Giovanni Ribisi is the demented Donny who is a big fan of Ted. Tom Skerritt, Sam Jones (Flash Gordon), and Nora Jones play themselves. Ryan Reynolds makes a cameo as Jared, a "friend" to Patrick Warburton's, Guy. And Patrick Stewart makes one of the greatest narrations of all time in my opinion.
Ted is one of the best movies I've seen this Summer with tons of laugh out loud moments. This movie is proof that MacFarlane still has insane comedy chops. Now if this can only translate to Family Guy.
The Dark Lord of the Sith says:
**** stars
Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit! 2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee.
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here.
Ted
Released 6/29/12, now in theaters
Ted is Family Guy creator, Seth MacFarlane's, first venture at directing a major motion picture. So the question most might have is does Macfarlane's style translate to the big screen in a live action movie? He's resting his hopes on a cast including Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Patrick Warburton, and himself as the voice of the titular character.
John Bennett is an unpopular boy. So unpopular, that even a Jewish kid that is being pummeled by the neighborhood boys tells him to get lost. Things change when John receives a teddy bear as a Christmas gift. The bear becomes John's constant companion. Then, one fateful, rainy night, John makes a wish for his "friend" Ted to be real. Unknown to John, there is a shooting star passing over his house when he makes his wish. John gets the shock of his young life when he finds his bear walking and talking the next morning. After freaking out John's parents, "Ted" is introduced into the world and becomes an overnight sensation (even apppearing on The Tonight Show w/Johnny Carson). Flash forward 25 years or so, and Ted is no longer the overnight sensation he used to be. In fact, Ted has suffered the fate of many a celebrity that entered the public consciousness like a ball of fire. As the narrator quaintly states "nobody f#$&\g cares." Ted (voice of McFarlane using the Peter Griffin persona) spends his days toking with the now 35 year old John (Wahlberg). John has a dead end job at a car rental company and a live-in girlfriend, Lori (Kunis). John and Lori love each other very much. There's just one problem. Ted lives in the apartment, too. To say Ted is a bad influence on John is the understatement of the millennium. When Lori suggests to John that Ted move out, it starts a downward spiral for the three that involves a bear/man fistfight, Flash Gordon, and a bear kidnapping by a weird, backwards father-son duo.
Ted is crass, rude, obnoxious, and a complete laugh riot. The laughs come fast and furious from the opening narration. MacFarlane's usual knack for spoofing pop culture is done better in Ted than it's been done in Family Guy for the last couple years. He apparently has a great love or maybe, it's love to hate thing for the horrible '80s remake of Flash Gordon. It is one of the greatest "so horrible it's good" movies going, so any movie that invokes this "masterpiece" has a shot in my book. The animation on the character, Ted, is flawless. He really does walk and talk as if he were real. Ted's facial expressions mimic human emotion down the movement of his eyebrows. The "romance vs. bromance" theme is very familiar but it never gets stale in Ted because the comedy doesn't slow down. Through all its characters' crude language and sometimes boorish behavior, the movie does have heart and teaches life lessons albeit in a twisted MacFarlane kind of way.
My only initial complaint about Ted is the constant marijuana use. Drug use as a comedic device has been done to death and I don't always find people, or, in this case, things getting wasted particularly funny. Yes, the concept of a large teddy bear toking is initially great, but that's really much of what Ted and John do when they're alone together.
In addition to the initial cast I mentioned, Family Guy alum, Alex Borstein, plays young John's mother. Giovanni Ribisi is the demented Donny who is a big fan of Ted. Tom Skerritt, Sam Jones (Flash Gordon), and Nora Jones play themselves. Ryan Reynolds makes a cameo as Jared, a "friend" to Patrick Warburton's, Guy. And Patrick Stewart makes one of the greatest narrations of all time in my opinion.
Ted is one of the best movies I've seen this Summer with tons of laugh out loud moments. This movie is proof that MacFarlane still has insane comedy chops. Now if this can only translate to Family Guy.
The Dark Lord of the Sith says:
**** stars
Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit! 2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee.
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here.
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