Ted

Reviews from the Dark Side presents
Ted
Released 6/29/12, now in theaters

Ted is Family Guy creator, Seth MacFarlane's, first venture at directing a major motion picture. So the question most might have is does Macfarlane's style translate to the big screen in a live action movie? He's resting his hopes on a cast including Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Patrick Warburton, and himself as the voice of the titular character.

John Bennett is an unpopular boy. So unpopular, that even a Jewish kid that is being pummeled by the neighborhood boys tells him to get lost. Things change when John receives a teddy bear as a Christmas gift. The bear becomes John's constant companion. Then, one fateful, rainy night, John makes a wish for his "friend" Ted to be real. Unknown to John, there is a shooting star passing over his house when he makes his wish. John gets the shock of his young life when he finds his bear walking and talking the next morning. After freaking out John's parents, "Ted" is introduced into the world and becomes an overnight sensation (even apppearing on The Tonight Show w/Johnny Carson). Flash forward 25 years or so, and Ted is no longer the overnight sensation he used to be.  In fact, Ted has suffered the fate of many a celebrity that entered the public consciousness like a ball of fire.  As the narrator quaintly states "nobody f#$&\g cares."  Ted (voice of McFarlane using the Peter Griffin persona) spends his days toking with the now 35 year old John (Wahlberg).  John has a dead end job at a car rental company and a live-in girlfriend, Lori (Kunis).  John and Lori love each other very much.  There's just one problem.  Ted lives in the apartment, too.  To say Ted is a bad influence on John is the understatement of the millennium.  When Lori suggests to John that Ted move out, it starts a downward spiral for the three that involves a bear/man fistfight, Flash Gordon, and a bear kidnapping by a weird, backwards father-son duo.

Ted is crass, rude, obnoxious, and a complete laugh riot.  The laughs come fast and furious from the opening narration.  MacFarlane's usual knack for spoofing pop culture is done better in Ted than it's been done in Family Guy for the last couple years.  He apparently has a great love or maybe, it's love to hate thing for the horrible '80s remake of Flash Gordon.  It is one of the greatest "so horrible it's good" movies going, so any movie that invokes this "masterpiece" has a shot in my book.  The animation on the character, Ted, is flawless.  He really does walk and talk as if he were real.  Ted's facial expressions mimic human emotion  down the movement of his eyebrows.  The "romance vs. bromance" theme is very familiar but it never gets stale in Ted because the comedy doesn't slow down.  Through all its characters' crude language and sometimes boorish behavior, the movie does have heart and teaches life lessons albeit in a twisted MacFarlane kind of way. 

My only initial complaint about Ted is the constant marijuana use.  Drug use as a comedic device has been done to death and I don't always find people, or, in this case, things getting wasted particularly funny.  Yes, the concept of a large teddy bear toking is initially great, but that's really much of what Ted and John do when they're alone together. 

In addition to the initial cast I mentioned, Family Guy alum, Alex Borstein, plays young John's mother.  Giovanni Ribisi is the demented Donny who is a big fan of Ted.  Tom Skerritt, Sam Jones (Flash Gordon), and Nora Jones play themselves.  Ryan Reynolds makes a cameo as Jared, a "friend" to Patrick Warburton's, Guy.  And Patrick Stewart makes one of the greatest narrations of all time in my opinion. 

Ted is one of the best movies I've seen this Summer with tons of laugh out loud moments.  This movie is proof that MacFarlane still has insane comedy chops.  Now if this can only translate to Family Guy.

The Dark Lord of the Sith says:

**** stars


Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit! 2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee.
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here.