Total Recall

Reviews from the Dark Side presents
Total Recall
Released 8/3/12, now in theaters

The classic sci-fi cult hit gets a new face this week with the release of a big budget remake.  Taking Arnold Scwarzenegger's place is Colin Farrell as mind altered secret agent, Douglas Quaid/Carl Hauser.  Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, and Bryan Cranston co-star. 

In the late 21st Century, chemical warfare has decimated most of Earth. The only livable locations have split into two factions, The United Federation of Britain and The Colony (formerly Australia).  The UFB holds the wealth and political power.  The citizens of The Colony are mostly laborers who commute to the UFB through "The Fall" , a massive type of elevator connecting the two locations.  There is bad blood between the two regions as a group calling itself, The Resistance, has formed in The Colony.

Douglas Quaid is a troubled man.  He's recently begun having dreams of what seems like a past life where he is trying to escape a facility with a beautiful, unnamed woman.  He's captured, the woman escapes, and Quaid wakes up before events can progress every time.  His "loving" wife, Lori (Beckinsale), tries to console and relax him.  But Doug is restless and still thinks something is missing in his life.  He lives in The Colony and commutes to the UFB daily to a dead end factory job with his best friend and co-worker, Harry (Bokeem Woodbine).  After work the two always go to the same bar to unwind.  Doug believes there has to be more to life than this. 

 He's become intrigued by a company based in The Colony called Rekall.  Rekall promises to make your dreams come true by implanting artificial memories in your head that feel as real as any legitimate memory you have.  He's warned off Rekall by Harry, but the pull is too strong.  At Rekall, Doug meets with their representative, McClane (John Cho).  For some reason, Doug finds the secret agent memory implant fascinating.  He is tested to ensure compatibility with the implant.  When the test fails, McClane accuses him of being a real spy.  A squad of heavily armed police officers enters Rekall and guns down McClane and the rest of the staff.  As Quaid is being arrested, a light clicks on in his head.  Before he knows what's happening, he has killed all of the officers.  Rather easily at that. 

When he returns home, he gets the shock of his life when Lori tries to kill him after he tells her what transpired.  Lori's not who he thinks she is.  She is a secrent agent herself who has been given the cover story of being Quaid's wife by her boss, Chancellor Cohaagen (Cranston), with the express purpose of spying on her "husband."  Quaid apparently has knowledge in his foggy memories that is valuable to both the UFB and The Resistance.  In a mad chase through The Colony, he eventually escapes Lori and her agents only to be pursued by them again when he reaches the UFB.  It is here he is reunited with the woman in his dreams, Melina (Biel).  She is one of the chief lieutenants in The Resistance and is the one who convinced Quaid to switch sides when, as Carl Hauser, he was sent by Cohaagen to infiltrate The Resistance.  Now, it's a race against time for Quaid and Melina to reach the leader of The Resistance, Mathias (Bill Nighy), with what's in his head before they are caught by Cohaagen's forces.

So, now the question is how does this remake compare with the original?  I've got mixed emotions.  While there is no doubt the special effects here dwarf the original, this story is a lot more bleak. And I don't mind bleak if the story is enthralling and makes you think.  There was really nothing to think about except what other type of impossible escape Quaid could make this time.  It was a big chase movie and little more.  It didn't have the fun of the original complete with stupid Ah-nuld one liners and all.  Gone are the mutants that made the first a litte off putting and delightfully silly at the same time.  Actually, that's not entirely true.  The remake still gives us the three breasted prostitute, although it did feel a little out of place since everyone else was normal.  And, of course, the whole. film takes place on Earth.  Mars isn't remotely involved in the remake.

However, that isn't to say the remake is bad.  It isn't.  In fact, it's highly entertaining at times.  The problem is it just doesn't have a lot of flair.  It's like some foods you eat.  It fills you up as you're eating, but you're hungry an hour later.  It's loud, many things explode, and plenty of police officers and soldiers serve as cannon fodder.

The beautiful people were hired for this movie.  You know it's true.  Farrell, Beckinsale, and Biel.  Good looking cast.  And they turn in good performances, although I do think Beckinsale is the standout here.  She is absolutely, positively evil to the core.  Didn't know she had it in her.

Overall, it's harmless Summer  fare.  You'll be entertained, but it won't stick with you to any great degree. 

The Dark Lord of the Sith says:

*** 1/4 stars

Ratings Legend
Zero *= Don't waste your time. Pure dreck! Dreck is too good for this! Blind me please!
1 *= Fuggedaboutit!
2 *= Average, Mediocre, Nothing Special
3 *= Good viewing. Much better than a poke in the eye.
4 *= Great. Could possibly foot the price of a non-Matinee.
5 *= Pure eye candy. Hall of Fame material here.